Life's Little Surprises

I Keep Saying I'm Going To Post More....

2010-11-09T08:37:00.004-06:00

...and then I totally forget to. Been crazy busy a lot of the time around here. Heck, sometimes I get sidetracked just going to get a cup of coffee. We've been doing pretty good, no major issues. Getting things done and doing school and all that.
Gabe is working on the book "Teach Your Child to Read in 100 Easy Lessons," we had started this book part of last year, and it went well for the first few lessons, and then he wanted nothing to do with it. This time is going much easier and he seems to remember a few of the sounds. He's been recognizing words on the tv, and on dvd cases and books, things like that. We're also doing some of the BrainQuest things that I picked up over the last couple years. We have the 2-3yo all the way up to the 1st and 2nd grade ones. And we just picked up a phonics one usable for ages 2 and up.
Caleb is reading more and more, and seems to be thoroughly amazed every day when he can read something new off the tv or newspaper. Still can't seem to spell, but we're working on that! He's shown an interest in the phonics stuff that I picked up for Gabe, and has asked a few times if he can do them. I'm more than happy to let him, it will help him make more progress. Now I understand what people were talking about when they said that one day it just clicked for their kids with reading!
Caitlin is doing great school-wise, of course she's pretty much always been easier to teach than Caleb or Gabe. Her biggest issue is her attitude and it seems to get the best of her pretty much daily. So, we're working on her controlling her mouth and her behavior.
James is doing well school-wise, and is getting a ton of practical life skills work. He's learning to do things in the garage with dad and grandpa, he's helped with taking beds apart, putting things together, measuring space to make sure things fit. He knows how to do laundry in grandma's front loader now, and is also learning to cook! So far he can make eggs, and of course he's learned to read the packaging on pretty much everything else. He can microwave, make toast, etc. Knows how to make mac and cheese too. It's amazing to see how he changes and matures. Hard to believe he's 13 already!
Mike's doing good at work, he's been working in the smokehouse the last month or so. I think he likes thins job a little better. It's been 2 months since he hit the deer and totaled the car, and just under 2 months since he got the truck. And 2 months since I got my tongue re-pierced. Kind of funny that he called with the news of hitting the deer when I was at the Tattoo Shop.
Myself, I've been pretty laid back about what I've been doing. I gained back about 5 lbs, mostly because I went back to drinking pop again for a while and because of skipping my walks for a couple weeks. But I've already lost 2lbs of that just by cutting out the pop and coffee again. The weather has been up and down lately, and with it getting darker earlier it makes it more difficult to get my walks in. But that's really no excuse, so I'm getting back in the swing of things and even picked up some weights that I can use without even having to leave the house. Can't wait to be down another 60lb!
It's great to be able to measure my loss by what I used to wear as opposed to what sizes I can wear now. I've gone down 2 band sizes and a cup size bra-wise, 3 underwear sizes, 2 shirt sizes, and I can wear jeans now! I used to not be able to fit my largest jeans, which were a size 26-28. Now I can fit a 22 stretch with a little room and a regular 24 with no spandex at all and not have to lay down or suck it in to fasten them. My size 24 skirt that I so wanted to be able to fit into is now WAY too big, and a lot of the other skirts that I couldn't wear are fitting so much better! I even wore my size 20 capri's this summer! I haven't worn them in at least 5 years!
Since the kids are awake now, and it's time to start our school day, I'll have to update more later.kids

Been Soooooooo Busy!

2010-10-08T15:35:00.003-05:00

Here's a peek at some of what I've been up to!

Wow Been Almost a Month, Again!

2010-09-13T14:59:00.002-05:00

It's been crazy busy around here again. What with moving and putting things in storage, trying to make things fit and getting things ready for another school year.
We are currently living with the inlaws, not easy for anyone really, but at least we get along.
The kids are good, gearing up for another school year. Not exactly excited about it since we're still having warm wonderful days made for riding bikes and going to the park, but at least we're getting our noses back to the grindstone.

I'm staying steady at this weight it seems, at least for now, but I'm very glad to see that even with indulging in a few treats every once in a while I'm at least steady and not gaining. I'm loving the progress that I've made in the last year. I've gone down 3 sizes in underwear, god only knows in pants because all I ever wore was stretch pants. I walk nearly every day, at least 12-14 blocks sometimes double that. (Avg of 12 blocks to a mile around here!) I drink my water, and I watch what I eat.

More posts to come as we get school going!

65lbs!

2010-08-15T13:04:00.003-05:00

Yup, 65 lbs gone for good! I'm currently wearing a pair of size 20 capris that I haven't been able to even SQUEEEEEEEZE into for years. God does that feel good! I can almost fit the next size down for bra size!
Still very carefully watching my portion sizes, keeping a majority of the sugar out of my diet, almost no pop, very little coffee or caffeine of any kind. Lots of water to keep hydrated, iced tea sweetened with sweet n low or other calorie free sweeteners. Not a lot of carbs either. But that's really how I usually eat when I eat at home. Haven't really been eating out either. And of course walking nearly everyday for at least an hour helps too.
Still can't believe the number on the scale...I've lost the equivalent of one of my kids. Total WOW factor.

Keeping Busy...

2010-08-12T22:04:00.003-05:00

Having a decent week. Bought a couple new shirts and a pair of shorts, smaller sizes yay! The other pair of shorts I have are a size 22 and are nice and loose, almost too loose because if I tuck one of my new shirts in they are loose enough to slip down some. Going to try and see if the new bras that I bought will fit yet.
Kids are doing good, been keeping busy and making sure that no one gets heat stroke or sick from this horrible weather. We've had heat indexes in the 90-105 range, with temps in the high 80's-90's range. Sucks, because it means not being outside much during the day, and means less trips to the park and other places when things get that warm. Thank goodness for air conditioning!
Other than that not too much going on. Hope to have something better to post later this weekend.

Still Surprised...

2010-08-09T11:07:00.003-05:00

Down 64lbs as of now. Wow I can't believe that I actually weighed as much as I did. I went thru my clothes the other day and couldn't believe that most of what is now too big ever actually fit. And not well at that! I've gone down almost 3 sizes in underwear, and looking at the ones that are too big makes me feel terrible that I ever let myself get that big. I can now fit a 1x in most shirts, I still prefer most of them baggy though so I usually go with a 2x. But its still a huge change from buying a 4x shirt and not being happy because it didn't fit right.
My old standby for the last way too many years was stretchy legging-type pants. Because they fit. And when you get to be big like that, it's hard to find things that fit. Not that they fit flatteringly or anything, but I could wear them. But now I can wear jeans again, not huge tent-style jeans, but size 22's! And I don't have to defy gravity, hang upside down or lay on the bed to do them up! That's huge! I can't wait to wear a 20, 18, 16! I'm sure I'll never get rid of all the belly, but I'm going to sure try my damnedest.
My first goal I had set was to lose 20lb. I did it! My second was 40, and I made that too. Then 60, and I passed that too. The new goal is 80lbs lost. And I'm almost there. 16 lbs to go til I meet my next goal.

Long Time No Type!

2010-08-01T10:36:00.004-05:00

So lets see, the last time I updated was over a month ago! Can't believe it's been that long! So many changes, lots of stuff going on.

First off, I'm now officially down 60 lbs! And wearing a size 22 pants comfortably without having to contort myself to fasten them or anything. Can't remember when I've felt this good wearing this size! I'm almost ready to go bra shopping again as this one is made as small as it can be and I still have wiggle room. Still doing the same things I've been doing, cutting back on sweets and portion sizes and cutting out almost totally on the pop. Haven't really been drinking my coffee either for a while.
I'm walking the dog every day, and sometimes also go for a walk with one of the kids or by myself. Drinking lots and lots of water, 4-8 20oz bottles a day, depending on the heat and whatever else I drink.
I'm looking forward to clothes shopping!

As far as the kids, they are fine. Same old same old. Gabe is finally sleeping more, and only rarely comes in by me.
Our living situation has changed some, and we are in the process of moving in with my inlaws. That meant that we needed to rehome Scooby, as 3 dogs is really more like 2 dogs too many.
Monday I'm going to go get our storage unit, and this week will be spent putting things in storage. It's going to be challenging at times I'm sure, but we can make it work.

I'm going to make an effort to post at least once a week, which shouldn't be a problem since our school year will be starting soon. It'll be good to keep track of all the fun we have and the projects we do.

Decided to Weigh Myself....

2010-05-16T08:40:00.002-05:00

And was pleasantly surprised! I am now down 51# since Oct 2!!! And 21 of that is just since Feb 14! Talk about awesome, I've dropped almost 3 full sizes, and all my clothes are getting loose on me. Friday night we went to Chicago with some friends, and I wore a size 2x skirt that had never ever fit before. Guess what? It was LOOSE!

Things are going ok, still dealing with my depression and stuff, but it's getting a little easier. I just keep going day by day.
The kids are fine, school is going slow but it's going. Weather has been up and down, mostly in the 60's during the day, but some 50's too. And at night it's been anywhere from 30's-50's.
Our plants got eaten, we put them out and the squirrels had a field day with them. What I have growing now is some strawberry plants, tomato plants, and 1 watermellon plant that *might* actually survive, but isn't trying to very hard. I also saw all the strawberry plants that are growing in the side yard and by the fence. And the poppies that are growing by the side of the house too!
In other news, Caitlin is this years Poppy Princess, and gets to be in the Memorial Day Parade! We went to Walmart and passed out poppies, we had a pretty good time, and Caitlin had fun acting cute and getting people to donate to the Legion.
And today is Adrian's 3rd Birthday!!! Happy Birthday Little Man!!!

Took A Little Hiatus...

2010-04-22T14:30:00.002-05:00

Needed some time to figure things out and get my mind straightened out. It's been a long month. Been busy with the kids and life in general.
Our houseguests have finally moved on. They were with us for 6 months, and have now moved on to stay with some other friends in Chicago. I miss Adrian terribly. He was my little shadow, always following behind me when they were here. They've been gone nearly a week. I'm not sure if they're coming back before she has the baby or not. I can't wait to see him again.
Dad's younger brother died the 13th, he was 51. We were told it was a heart attack, but I can't help thinking that the stroke he had this past year didn't maybe have something to do with it. Got to meet his daughter at his memorial service. She seemed nice, we talked for a little while, and I showed her a picture that mom had found when she was going through her photo album. It had Russ and his wife (her mom), Rick and his wife, Dad and Mom, and Peggy and her husband. It was a nice service, with about 50 or so people.
The kids are doing good. We've been taking it easy with some of the school work, and doing a lot of outdoor things. The have gotten to go to the parks, and be in the yard and see things growing and blooming. They got to help paint bedframes, and we'll be doing the boys' walls soon. It's been staying fairly warm during the day, with highs in the 60's and 70's. But night time it still gets down in the 30's and 40's. We've had a little rain, and even a couple thunderstorms. Nothing too bad though. And we're supposed to get more rain this weekend.

Guess I'll update more later. Just so busy right now, what with Spring being in full swing right now and all.

Long Weekend

2010-03-22T16:53:00.002-05:00

Long long weekend. I'm so glad it's done and over. Saturday was the first day of spring, and it snowed. Not surprising, and it was all melted by mid day yesterday. We left the kids with the grandparents on Saturday, and took a rather long trip down to the Chicago area. Spent all day with them at a seminar, and didn't make it home til after midnight to collect the kids and go home to sleep.
Yesterday was our anniversary. Didn't do a whole lot, just cooked out and spent time with the kids. And today did more running around and took them to the park for a while.
Right now I'm sitting here listening to them fight over a video game, and wondering what we should do for dinner. I'm sure it's not going to figure itself out, so I guess I'm going to have to start thinking about it.

Not Even A Week Yet, But Still Too Long...

2010-03-18T09:35:00.004-05:00

Well, my best friend from high school called me Monday and told me that her grandma passed away on Saturday. She came all the way from Missouri for the funeral which was Tuesday, and went back home on Wednesday. Between getting everything ready for her short stay in town, and the funeral itself, we've had a pretty busy week. We've done the basics for school, and gotten a lot more time to be outside and notice the way spring is coming to the area. We've done a lot of our spring cleaning, and taken things to the dump and junkyard depending. Got the old broke stove and freezer out of here, and made lots more room for the kids to play as it gets warmer. We also cleaned up the back patio and the yard, making sure that all the trash and debris that accumulated over the winter (pop bottles, wrappers, things that blew in the yard) got taken care of an cleaned up.
And yesterday, we had our first cookout of the new year! It's been hovering in the 60's during the day, and our home thermometer had even recorded a few 70's in the past week. But I've heard that we may get some cooler weather for the next week or so, only getting into the 40s and 50s. I hope not because I love this warmer weather!

We're going to visit our friends Ron and Renee' on Saturday, and Sunday is our 13th Anniversary. Can't believe it's been that long. Heck, can't believe we've lasted that long! Doesn't seem like we've done enough with these years. Like we haven't come that far. We've moved 10 times in the last 13 years, lived in 9 different houses. Lived in 1 house twice (here!). That's if we include moving into his cousins for a month and his grandma's for a month before we got our first place. Otherwise, not counting them, we've moved 8 times and lived in 7 different houses. I don't usually count those 2, because we only had our clothes and bed, not furniture or anything like that because we had just gotten married.
In the time we've been married, we've rented, bought, and lost a house. That's a lot if you look at it from the standpoint that we rented 3 different places for a year each, then bought our house, lived there for 6 years, and lost it to foreclosure. Then we rented this place for 9mos, moved to another place for 13mos, and moved back here again. This fall would've been 8 years that we would have owned our house.

I don't really miss our house most days. I keep busy and don't think about it. But when I drive past it, I look at the work that's been done by the people who bought it, and I wonder why it was so hard for us. We did some work on the place, it's not like we let the place fall down around our ears. We pulled up carpet, refinished some floors, painted, redid some plumbing. We got rid of 10+ years worth of crap that had been left by previous tenants and the old landlord. We got rid of old cast iron sprinkler pipes that ran thru the entire house, and replaced doors, some windows and the entire boiler system and hot water heater. And we hated every minute of it. That house needed so much done that it sucked the life out of us. We fought nearly every day, there was something new to be fixed every time we turned around. None of us was happy there.
But I do miss it sometimes. Every time I have to say no about getting something we want or need because we don't have the room for it, I miss that big old house and its space. Every time the kids are fighting about not having room to play, or space for their stuff, I miss it. Every time I do laundry, and run out of hot water for showers, I miss it. I miss not having to screw around with the furnace, not having the extra space in the laundry area. Not having the room for company, or for a friend who wants to come and stay for a few days. I miss the floor that we spent a whole weekend refinishing til it was beautiful and new-looking again.
But I don't miss the constant headache of robbing one bill to pay another because we had to fix something else this month. I so don't miss the roof leaking, or the electrical that was bad, or the kitchen that needed the floor re-done. Or the tiny pantry and lack of cabinet space.

But life moves on and so do we. We're hoping that we can manage to find a house that fits our needs within the next year or 2. We're considering a land contract, rent-to-own, or just outright buying. We're trying to pay some things off, and get our credit better before then. We have a few loans, they're improving our credit because they're paid on time, even when he's been laid off. We pay cash for darn near everything else, and we are careful of what we spend money on. If we can't afford it right that minute, we don't get it.
Here's to another year of trying hard and working on all that we have.

9 Years Ago Today...

2010-03-13T10:45:00.002-06:00

My youngest son was born. Gabriel was born at 8:20 am, weighing 7lbs 5oz and 18 1/2 inches long. It was a cold day with snow still on the ground, not like today, where it's 50 ish and rainy.
I really can't believe it's been that long, where does the time go? Today he's 9 years old.

This morning he woke me with "Who got me things for my birthday?" Made me laugh, because most everyone is in the same boat as us, no one can really afford much. He got some hot wheels and a new book(which he's looking at in this pic!), and my sis said she was going to send a card. He'll get a small cake, and pretty much that's it. We don't do a whole lot for birthdays, mostly because we're broke a lot of the time. But he will get a few more things towards the end of the month.

Our plants are doing well, except that some mice apparently got into our little tray and ate a few of our tomato plants.

Spring is in the Air!

2010-03-11T09:24:00.000-06:00

We planted our other seeds, our herbs should be sprouting soon. All of our tomato plants and all of our spinach plants are growing now. And it looks like one of out pepper plants will be growing within the next few days.

Planted German Chamomile and Roman Chamomile, and 2 kinds of Lavender. Lemon Basil and Genovese Basil, Lemon Balm and Lemon Grass. Garlic Chives, Sage, Catnip, Rosemary, Anise, Oregano, Cilantro, and Echinacea. Still need to get and plant my mint, and hoping to put in a few raspberry and blackberry bushes. Hopefully anyway.

Nearly all of the snow has melted and the days are getting warmer. We've even had a few days here and there that were 50 degrees or higher. Yesterday for example, it was so nice out that the kids and I took the day and went to the park. We saw deer tracks, raccoon tracks, even a tree where the deer had been rubbing and some deer fur stuck to the ground. I think it reached almost 60 yesterday. It was such a beautiful day that none of us were wearing coats or jackets.
Today, however, we're paying for the beautiful weather with rain. And lots of it. And icky gray skies. It's only about 50, maybe less because my thermometer keeps reading high for some reason. I think it has to do with where the little receiver is sitting. Maybe it's getting too much of the heat from the side of the house.

Not much planned for today, need to take my stepdad out to do some running and do journal with the kids. Other than that we really don't do a whole lot on days like this.

Been a Busy Week

2010-03-08T13:14:00.003-06:00

Lets see...what have we been up to?? Well, Saturday was crazy, because we had 2 round trips to Milwaukee. We picked up Dad and Colleen, had cake and all that, and took them back up. Dad told Mike that he's thinking about moving down here by us! That was something I totally didn't expect. He was talking about how it's so much quieter and not as busy and all that jazz.

Got the hallway primed and almost ready to paint. Just need to finish the corners and a few other little things. I plan on getting it done hopefully this week.

School has been pretty good, the kids are enjoying checking the plants and seeing if they're growing yet. We'll plant our herbs on Wednesday, and then we'll have 2 trays of plants to keep track of. I can't wait for it to get warmer and for us to have our last frost. I'm looking forward to transplanting our little plants and watching them grow.

Caleb has finally learned to tie his shoes!! It's taken such a long time for him to coordinate the necessary hand movements. I'd almost given up on him learning to tie them and was seriously wondering just how large a size they make of velcro shoes. Next to learn that skill is hopefully Gabe.
Gabe's now convinced that he needs to become a samurai or a ninja, depending on the day. I told him that he needs to learn to read and write if he wants to be either. I'm sneaky that way! Caleb is improving in his reading and surprises me daily with the little tidbits that he picks up on tv and signs.

Big news of the day: one of my best friends, Missy, has moved back to town! She has a little girl who will be 4, and her little boy shares Gabe's birthday and will be 1 on Saturday! Gabe will be 9 on Saturday, can't believe how fast time is flying.

Any tips from anyone on how to teach a child to read who really has no drive to learn?

Thinking Spring!

2010-03-02T22:02:00.003-06:00

That's going to be our theme around here for the next few weeks! Tomorrow we are going to start planting our plants that we will put in the garden. And the kids will check them daily and we'll chart their growth. That means daily writing, which should help improve their writing skills, and it means working together. We'll plant 1 tray tomorrow, and the other tray either Friday or Monday, depending on how busy we get.

Another project I have is the little suncatchers that they are going to paint. I'm having them each work on one for dad and Colleen for their anniversary and his birthday. I may have to pick a few more up, not sure if I have enough, because we're also going to do a few for around the house here.
We've been pretty faithful with our daily journaling, or should I say that I've been faithful in telling them to do their journal, but they haven't always wanted to.

Took James shopping for a coat today, and to my surprise, he's able to fit a MENS Medium! With a little room of course, hopefully enough room that he can still wear it next fall and winter. Not holding out hope for that one though, because with my luck he'll hit a growth spurt and it will be too small by then. He's able to wear a men's 30-30 pants now, (30 waist, 30 inseam) but he does need to roll them and they are a little loose on him. He can wear some boys' 14's and 16's, depending on the cut. It's amazing how fast they grow! He's also in a mens size 9 shoe! Amazing since he's only 12.

Caleb and Gabe are both in size 8 jeans and a little bigger for shirts. Gabe is bigger around than Caleb, so he can wear the regular size, but Caleb fits better in the slims. Gabe can also wear the reg size 7's, and 9 slims, because he has more of a belly. The boys also wear the same size shoe, size 3-4 depending on who makes them. Weird though, because Caleb will be 11, and Gabe will be 9. Caitlin wears the same size as the boys for pants and shirts, and is finally in almost the same size for shoes, she wears a 2 1/2-3 depending on the style and who makes them. Gabe will be 9 on the 13th of this month, and the twins will be 11 in May.

Busy busy around here, got tons to do and never enough time to finish it all!

Tired and Sick....

2010-02-27T12:44:00.003-06:00

Well whatever is going around has finally made it here. First Adrian came down with it, then Gabe and Caleb and me, and of course Caitlin and James. So, we're all sitting here with stuffy and runny noses and headaches and body aches. Pretty miserable stuff. But Adrian is feeling much better, go figure.

The 23rd was my dad's birthday and his anniversary with Colleen. It would also have been him and mom's anniversary if they were still married. It would have been 32 years for mom and him. That's a LONG time. It's been a year of being married for him and Colleen, and 7 or 8 years of them being together as of this June or July. I can hardly believe that it's already going to be a year that we've been back in touch with dad. We were planning on having them down today, but with all of us being sick, we figured next week would be better for that. Jaime's making a cake, and I'll be making the drive up and back to get them. Here's hoping we're all feeling better by then.

I also have to finish painting the front room and hallway before then. We picked out a fairly bright blue that I had planned on using for the boys' rooms, but decided to touch up a few areas in the front room with it, thinking that it was a close match to what was already in there. Wrong. It's such a bright color that the old blue that was on the walls already looks almost gray in comparison! I painted the bathroom a nice cherry bright yellow, and have the same color picked to use in the hall, since it doesn't have much light to brighten it up. The boy's rooms will be 2-tone blue, with a dark almost navy blue on the top of the walls and the ceiling. And glow-in-the-dark stars and moons on the ceiling.
Caitlin's room will be a color that she picked, called bright citrus. It's a peachy pink color. It'll look great in there, and bring more light in. She has the smallest room in the house for her bedroom, so it can use all the brightening it can get.
Still need to pick a color for our room, because right now it's a deep red color that reminds me of a bordello. Not really my thing. Personally, I favor earth-tone colors. But Mike says he really doesn't care what color, as long as it's something that I like. Makes it easier and at the same time harder, because I really would like his opinion on things.
I'm thinking of light tan-ish or beige, or maybe something similar. Who knows.

As far as school, we're going to take a few days or maybe a week and just cut back to the basics while everyone's feeling under the weather. It'll be a nice break for all of us.

Been Gone For Nearly A Month.....

2010-02-23T08:59:00.004-06:00

Wow, didn't realize how quickly that flew! In the last month, I've rearranged our room, painted the bathroom, painted most of the living room, cleaned and cleaned and cleaned some more. It's been super busy around here. We also got some new furniture and appliances with our tax refund. That took most of our refund, but we really needed them. And scratch-and-dent is cheaper than you'd think! We now have an oven that actually preheats! And a fridge whose shelves aren't falling out every time we open the door. Amazing how little things like that really make a difference.

As far as schooling goes, we've backed down a little on the pressure that Gabe was feeling. He has voluntarily started to do lessons with me out of the "Teach Your Child to Read in 100 Easy Lessons" book. Easy? Yes for a regular child, but not so much for mine. It's not pretty, but he's trying. He already knows the letters, but not so much the sounds that they make. So this book teaches him the sounds and helps him to learn how to sound out words. Since the 5th, he has been working on the beginning lessons, and he can now recognize am, mat and sat. But we've also noticed that he's now reading more sight words without our prompting (mostly on games!). Words like "infection" and "slayer" and other game-theme related words.
He's also consistently falling asleep but 10 (most nights, we have had a few bumps), and is drawing more pictures. He wants to draw nearly every day now, faces, people, things. Always with pencil, always what he wants to draw, always when he wants to draw.
Caleb and I are working on his reading, as he can do it, but lacks confidence. We skimmed through the same book I'm doing with Gabe, and I just had him do the words. He knows the sounds the letters make, and knows how to sound them out. It only took him maybe 20 minutes to go through all the words in 23 lessons. And he had them all right. Granted most of them are simple easy words. But it's gotten him to realize that it doesn't matter how big the word is as long as you sound them out.
James and Caitlin are reading well, and we've been trying to really make sure that they are engaged in what they are reading. She's been reading the Junie B. Jones books, and is enjoying them immensely. He's reading Artemis Fowl, and has already listened to all the books on CD, and checked out a lot of them from the library before I bought him the first set that he wanted.
Our main focus the past few weeks has been their reading, because I feel that with reading, anything else is possible and will fall into place.

Aside from the early spring cleaning we've been doing, that's pretty much it. Hopefully I can remember to keep posting and not let there be that much of a break!

1/2 Way Thru Our School Year...

2010-01-24T23:56:00.003-06:00

And time to review our goals that I made at the beginning of the school year.

Here are the goals I made:
Gabe
1) Gabe will learn to consistently make all the sounds of the letters. Not met so far, but working on it.
2) Gabe will learn to consistently write all letters. (at this point I dont care if lower case or not) Not met yet either.
3) Gabe will consistently copy and say all letters to 20 (he repeats up to 20, sometimes even higher depending on motivation, but has only written to 10) Not met.
4) Gabe will learn to put letters together into words. (ideally, i'd like him to learn at least 1 word a week, but i don't know if that's pushing to hard or not yet) Sort of met, he's been reading some sight words, even though he swears he can't read anything.
5) Gabe will learn to do simple chores (without having constant hand-over-hand to make him) This goal is met! He's started helping with simple chores, and started taking turns better!

Caleb
1) Caleb will learn 5 new words per week (and still be able to spell previously learned ones) Not quite met, as far as learning that many per week, but we are reviewing words that he used to know, and learning new ones as we can. So I'd say 1/2 met.
2) Caleb will write on the lines with correct spacing so it can be read About 1/2 met as well.
3) Caleb will control his body ( a BIG one, he has no concept of personal space!) Not quite met, but working hard at it. His mouth keeps getting him in trouble....
4) Caleb will rotate chores and learn to properly do them Met!
5)Caleb will raise his reading and comprehension level by practicing reading at least 20 minutes each day. Met, for the most part. He still resists reading unless its a book that he wants to read.

Caitlin
1) Caitlin will learn at least 5 new words per week (see above) Pretty well met, but I want to continue to work on it.
2) Caitlin will write on the lines with correct spacing so it can be read Met! But could still use improvement on neatness.
3) Caitlin will sit quietly when doing schoolwork (constant chatter, kind of like Caleb's lack of concept of personal space) Met about 50% of the time. Still needs reminding and redirection.
4) Caitlin will rotate chores without complaint and learn to do them properly Met! And she does a great job when motivated. Otherwise a simple chore, while done properly, can take her 5-10 times as long as it should.
5) Caitlin will raise her reading and comprehension levels by practicing reading at least 20 minutes each day. Met!

James
1) James will learn to write paragraphs with correct punctuation and grammar. Not met.
2) James will work on his handwriting skills and improve them. Improving, but still needs more work.
3) James will stay on task and complete things in a timely manner. Met for the most part, but definitely an area to continue working on.
4) James will rotate chores without complaint and learn to do them properly. Not quite met, but I'm confident that it will work itself out.
5) James will raise his reading and comprehension levels by reading at least 20 minutes each day. Met, and he can read much better than he was at this time a year ago. His math has improved as well.

All in all we have met quite a few goals, and even met some goals that I didn't list because I thought they weren't quite school related.
1) Gabe has started sleeping thru the night, by HIMSELF!!!! Not with dad and I.
2) Gabe has been taking turns! Not always willingly, but its a great start!
3) Gabe has been having fewer and fewer accidents!
4) So has Caleb! 2 accidents in 3-4 months is great!
5) The kids have been learning to help with the cooking.
6) We've been having weekly library trips where the kids can pick out their own choice of books to read and journal about, as well as movies to watch. Gabe has a real fascination with old 80's cartoons.
7) The kids are learning about respecting other people's space and things.
8) We've been helping Grandma and Great Grandma with things that they need done. And having dinner at grandma's at least once a week, using our manners and being polite.

I get down sometimes, and keeping track of our goals like this helps me to realize that even though it doesn't always seem like we are getting things done, we are accomplishing things everyday! It's slow work, but we keep going.
Now I just need to figure out which goals are the most important for us to work on the next few months.

So far, we are working on flashcards (math, words, numbers), and our reading and writing skills. We are continuing with our goals for chores, and sharing and such. They seem like such small goals, but slow and steady works for us.

Almost Forgot...Pics of Kids

2010-01-23T14:41:00.004-06:00

Ok, here's Adrian in his cute little red windbreaker outfit. And Adrian with James, showing off his car. Caleb looking all kinds of happy because he didn't want cheese pizza--he wanted pepperoni, which we were out of. Gabe in his favorite zip up sweatshirt. James leaning in on Caitlin, who has her eyes closed. James with Scooby, who just turned 8mos. He's getting soo big! And of course, Caleb watching tv with Adrian. Just a few pics!

Slow Week....

2010-01-23T14:39:00.002-06:00

Not too much going on here, thought we had our house-guests moved out, but that only lasted around 2 weeks. Go figure. Most of this week has been spent doing hands on learning activities with Gabe and reading and writing with the rest of the kids. This next week I plan to start trying to potty train Adrian and maybe work on getting him to start attending to short activities. No time like the present as they say.

We spent some time at the American Legion Post for their pancake breakfast today, and got to visit with a few people there. Also took some more recent pics of the kids and Adrian. Really not much else going on around here.

Been Busy Again...

2010-01-18T22:34:00.002-06:00

Wow is time ever flying! Yesterday was my birthday, and it went fairly well. Only a few minor hitches. Things are going well, just day to day mundane little things.
We are doing our school routine, just trying to keep it constant. The kids need a lot of direction some days. Of course so do I as of late, and I keep second guessing myself as to whether or not this is going to keep working for us. Really, on paper it all works, its just in real life that it sometimes gets gummed up.
Gabe has done much better most days on following simple directions and even though he still dislikes school, he's at least willing most days to at least try. He still struggles with retaining information that he learns, but it's progress however slow it is. Some days I really feel I need a break, but then I feel guilty, because they're MY responsibility. Not someone else's.
I've been told by quite a few that homeschooling is a bad choice, and that it's something that I can't succeed at because of the kids special needs. Some days I feel that way as well. But then I have to sit back and realize that everyone learns at their own pace, and just because my kids aren't perfect doesn't mean anyone else's kids are either. My kids have challenges, and my patience isn't always the greatest. But I'm trying. That's the most important thing to me.
I've had to really kick myself in the butt as of late to really get in the mood to do anything. School-wise that means that this week has been more about journal work, reading our library books and doing workbook work. Not really any extra stuff, but they did get some excellent books on cd that kept their attention well. And Caitlin is currently doing her own "research" so to speak on rocks and minerals with the books that she checked out from the library. She's interested in learning more, and wants to start a collection of semi-precious stones and gems.
Caleb is still having troubles with his reading comprehension and has been very discouraged. He gets so frustrated with words. I've been trying to make time for he and I to have some one-on-one time for reading and going over material to make sure that he understands it. It's been difficult to do though as mornings are hectic and chaotic. I'm thinking of breaking up our school day, instead of doing it all in the morning. Maybe just journal in the a.m. and do workbooks in p.m. and reading for an hour or so before bed. Not sure how well it will work out, but either way, it's a learning experience for all of us.
James is doing well, he's been reading more on his own and learning some harder math. What I find so ironic about all this is that I was in public school my whole life, and I've never used even 1/2 of what I learned. To me that's a LOT of wasted time and energy put out. Who really needs to know how to do long division like a math whiz when everyone else is using calculators? Or how to multiply a billion different numbers in your head? James knows his basic multiplication tables, but really has no use for them. None. Right now anyways. And if a time comes when it's something he feels a real need to learn, then we'll do it. But for right now, I think all the kids need a better reading base than what they have.
Our focus in the next few weeks is going to be on improving our reading skills and our listening skills. And of course along with reading comes spelling. Which is atrocious at the moment. I've got some words to put up on the walls in the hall on our cork-board, but then realized we don't have one anymore, so tomorrow I'm off to Staples to get another and some tacks to put our words up.
Obviously it was a good idea to post tonight because I already feel better about my new resolve and my new plans. My mind is going a mile a minute sometimes, so it's a good idea for me to get things down while I'm thinking of them.

A Little Down Tonight...

2010-01-08T22:23:00.003-06:00

So the kids had a good friend over tonight. Which is great, because all the kids get along with him and he's (of course) a little angel when he's at my house. He's 8 months younger than Gabe, but acts about as old as James. Way more mature than his age, mostly because he's the oldest of his mom's kids.

He and Gabe have pretty much been raised together, and I've babysat him and had him for weekends ever since he was a baby. Which, at this point, is really very bittersweet for me. He's not autistic, and Gabe is. Gabe still likes looking at books with lots of pictures, and he's reading chapter books. Gabe still wakes 2-3 times a night, and he's slept through since about 6mos old.
It's hard having him here. I enjoy it because he's a great kid and gets along with all the kids, but it hurts to see how different they are at basically the same age. He's everything I've always wanted for Gabe. He's articulate, affectionate, plays appropriately with toys and peers. He's working above grade level and can read. he does chores, he wants age appropriate things. All things that Gabe hasn't yet done, and may not ever do.

The worst part tonight was when it was bedtime. Gabe still sleeps on the couch a lot of nights. He has a real problem with sleeping upstairs alone in his bed. So he was trying to be brave enough to sleep upstairs, and wanted his little friend to sleep on the futon upstairs with him. But, his little friend had other ideas. He wanted to sleep on the other side of the loft, with James in his big queen sized bed. Poor Gabe just didn't understand that A didn't want him hanging all over him and being up and down all night. So his feelings were hurt, and he sat and cried for almost an hour on and off, saying A's name over and over. A explained that he still likes Gabe, and still wants to play and all, but that he just didn't want to sleep with him on the futon.

It didn't help, and as I'm typing this, Gabe is finally asleep. He sat and sniffed for a while, and every once in a while, he'd say A's name. He feels horrible, and so do I. He just doesn't understand the concept of personal space. And I work on that with him every day. It takes a looooong time for concepts like that to sink in and make sense for him. Gabe is still so much like a toddler. He goes by the same general rules they do, thinks the same way. He gets his feelings hurt so often by little things that kids his age understand and would get past quickly. Something as small as a misplaced toy can cause hours of whining and crying and sad looks. He seems to have no concept of whats truly fair to everyone. When it comes to games and toys it's all mine mine mine. He's been getting better at taking turns and trying to share. Really he's at about a 4yo level in some areas, but about 2-3yo level in others. It also depends on the day, he has his good days and bad.

I guess I'm just down because I see so many things that Gabe may never do. He has so much potential. He's learned a lot, and has so far to go. I mourn for the things that he may never do, and rejoice for the little things that he accomplishes. I guess I need to find more things to rejoice about.

One Week In, And I'm Still Sane...I Think...

2010-01-06T10:56:00.001-06:00

Or what passes for sane anyway. Things aren't going too bad, a lot of the same old stuff. A lot less drama, since I've been trying to see things from other people's perspective. A lot of learning right now, as I'm trying out a new path with my life.

Everyone's doing well, done being sick. We're back into the swing of things with school and home. A fresh start helps everyone to feel better and not be as frustrated with things. Sometimes all it takes is a day away from the normal grind for things to be better.

The new path I'm working on is teaching me so much right now about trusting how I feel about things and looking inside myself for the answers to my questions. It's showing me the importance of positive energy and getting rid of the negative things in my life and my mind. Helping me to clear my mind and notice the little things in life that I ignored and avoided before. The energy in things.

Back to the grindstone, got kids to chase and books to finish. I'm learning more every day, and enjoying it.

Happy New Year...

2010-01-01T12:42:00.000-06:00

My first New Years resolution for this year is my weight goals. The second one it to stop letting people get their way when what they really need is a definite reality check. My evil reign starts today.
I also made a resolution to start blogging at least once a week, but I'm going to try for every day, even if it's just a smartass comment or two. Not hard goals by any means, but sometimes more difficult than they seem.

Tired...

2009-12-28T20:22:00.000-06:00

It's only Monday, but it feels like it's been a long week already. That means the rest of this week is going to drag. Go figure. 2009 wants to go out kicking and screaming. Been trying to to stay constant with my diet, but cheated the other day when hubby brought home salami from work. Mmmmm. Missed weighing in this morning, because I totally forgot about it til about 5 tonight, so I'm weighing in tomorrow. I don't expect much of a loss, it's getting close to that time of the month so I feel horribly bloated and uncomfortable.

Not doing much else, just dealing with the kids and special people around here. Made brownies tonight, because I noticed that the more I bake, the more weight I seem to lose because I keep busy and don't have time to snack. You'd think it'd be the other way around, but I don't like eating while I cook, so that's a good thing I guess.

Amazing Cornbread Recipe!

2009-12-20T20:02:00.003-06:00

Ok, so technically it's more of a cheat, but hey at least it's something different! I used my mixer with this, because it's easier than using a hand-whisk.

I took regular cornbread mix and souped it up some so there'd be something different for tomorrow. I make cornbread in a 13x9 pan, so we used 4 boxes of mix.

Here's the recipe:

4 boxes cornbread mix, made as directed. Mine calls for 1 egg and 1/3 cup milk per box.
1/4 tsp cinnamon
1/4 tsp nutmeg
1/8 tsp ground ginger
2 tsp honey, any flavor (the one I used this time was buckwheat, we get ours from a local guy who keeps bees)
1 tsp maple flavoring
1/2 tsp vanilla flavoring
1/2 c brown sugar
1/2 c oatmeal

Mix the eggs, milk, honey and flavoring first til well blended. Then add your box mixes slowly. Once it's fairly smooth, add nutmeg, cinnamon, ginger and brown sugar. Blend well and add oatmeal. Bake in greased pan at 400 degrees for 25-35 minutes (depending on how reliable your oven is!). Cool before serving (or serve up hot with butter!).

This came out so well! The kids like it, Mike and I like it, and even the picky ones ate it!

Is It Really Going To Be Christmas Already????

2009-12-20T14:32:00.003-06:00

Can't believe it's going to be Christmas already. Just doesn't feel like that time of year yet. So much going on, so little time to do it all in. Making cookies again, chocolate chip oatmeal this time. Made a double batch so I could take some for a holiday get together. So about 6 or 7 dozen all together. Baked 1/2 to take Thursday when they had the get together and baking the other 1/2 today. It's trying to snow here, and they're saying we may get up to another inch or so.
Not really much else going on, just making sure that the kids are all feeling better and getting the house ready for Thursday when Dad and Colleen will be here. Got a ham from Mike's work for Christmas, that's their usual gift to employees along with $10 in coupons for Tyson products. Cleaning and trying to banish Mount Laundry again. Seems like every time I turn laundry over to the 12 yo, we get more and more backed up. So, I've decided that I'm going to permanently have that job myself. I do normally 3 loads a day of laundry, but that's mostly because I wash a LOT of towels and washrags and things like that. I do my laundry once or twice a week, it's pretty much 1 load, unless I've been doing a lot of baking or cleaning, then it's maybe a load and a half. Mike's clothes get done at least 2x a week, because it's mostly work clothes. The kids' laundry and Jane and Adrian's make up the balance of the loads, along with sheets and blankets at least 1x a week (or more for the bed-wetters).
Been in a really funky mood this week. I was happy to see that the scale had moved again, even if it was only another lb or so. But I know I'm getting to the point where I'm going to be slowing down in my weight loss, and that's where I usually get discouraged and think about (or do!) quitting trying to lose. My goal right now is to make it to the 30# mark. Then to the 40# mark, and then 50 and so on. In the long term, I need to lose about 135lb more. That's a LOT of weight. It's a scary number for me. The last time I weighed that much, I had just gotten pregnant with James. It was 13 yrs ago. I so want to be under 200#. I haven't been under 200 since I had James. I was 163# the day I came home from the hospital.
Sitting home with him and just eating whatever I wanted, combined with my hubby never saying a negative thing about my weight, is what let me allow myself to get this heavy. Mike's never said a thing about not being happy with me or my size. But I know in my heart that he can't be happy with it. Because I'm not happy with it. I miss being able to buy clothes that fit nicely and being happy with the way I look when I'm dressed up. We don't have a single family picture in the house. Anywhere. Because I hate the way I look in pictures. Always have since I started gaining weight. I love getting the kids' pictures done, and showing people how beautiful they are, but I always feel out of place, and in some pics, just plain nasty looking. I see all the bulges, and the extra fat everywhere, and it just makes me sick to look at it.
He's always saying I look fine, and that this outfit or that look great on me, but I don't see that when I put something on. I look for clothes that are baggy, that at least partially hide my belly and butt. I wear 1/2 to 3/4 sleeve shirts all year round because I hate the way my arms look. That's changing now though, because I'm using 5lb weights right now, starting to tone my arms a little. I hate the stretch marks though, and I'm not sure if I'll ever get them to go away.

This post kind of got away from me, so I'm going to go think about what to put in the next post...maybe I can start posting every week on weigh-day about my goals for the week and my feelings about my weight loss so far.

Until next time I guess, hoping that the scale moves in my favor tomorrow...

Another Week...

2009-12-16T15:32:00.003-06:00

So, now that I'm done being sick, and the kids are (mostly) done being sick, lets try another update. Or something.
Caleb and Caitlin started it off last Thursday with nausea, vomiting and diarrhea. They gave it to me, and I passed it along to Gabe and James by Saturday night into Sunday. Then Mike was sick Monday night into Tuesday. Now we're all feeling better...I hope. Except of course for James who has a couple pulled muscles and a case of strep.

I got my new barbells today. One is green and sparkly and the other is white and green with a star in the center. They're shorter, so hopefully I'll stop hitting them on my teeth and having the ball rub on the bottom of my mouth.
And I'm now down 26lbs!!!! Talk about boosting my self esteem. With everyone being sick it's been a really long week. Still feels like Monday, go figure.
And, today is my baby brothers' 21st birthday! Happy Birthday Nick!

Been A Long Month...

2009-12-08T12:45:00.004-06:00

Haven't posted on here in the last month because I've been taking some time to reevaluate my thinking on some things and take some time to figure out where some things are going from here.
Been quite busy in the past month. Had dad and Colleen and some friends for Thanksgiving. The kids have been doing fairly well, and are pretty much keeping the same pace they've been doing at their schoolwork. Mike and I are fine. SSDD.

I am now down 21lbs since October 2nd. Wow has that been a rollercoaster ride for me. Thinking of how far I have yet to go, and how far I've already come has been a scary thing for me. The lowest I've gotten since I've been trying (which has been about 10 years) has been 220. I'm now at 279, though I suspect that once my little monthly friend leaves that number will inch a little lower.
Since I hit the 20lb mark, I decided to do something that I've wanted to do for some time, but haven't because I never felt good enough about myself to do it. I got my tongue pierced. Boy did I get a LOT of reactions to that one. You'd have thought I decided to cut my ear off or something. But I did it for ME. Not for anyone else.

I've decided that when I hit the 40lb mark, I'm going to do something else that I've wanted to do for me. I just haven't decided what yet. Maybe get my ears pierced again, or cut my hair different, or a perm or something. I just don't know yet.

I know it's going to be a long journey, not just a short trip, but I can't help but get discouraged sometimes when I try really hard all week and the scale doesn't move. Some days it's really hard to keep going, because I don't feel like I'll ever get there. I still hate the way I look a lot of days. I hate the way I feel. But it's getting better. Slowly.

Can't Believe It's Only Been A Week!

2009-11-09T09:17:00.002-06:00

Wow has it been crazy around here! Lots of stuff going on, school and kids and laundry and all that jazz. Gabe has now been sleeping by himself for 3 weeks! And in that time, he's only come in and tried to sleep in our room twice! Talk about a milestone, and about time too. His disposition has gotten so much better since he started sleeping more. He's calmer and easier to redirect towards another activity. Not that it works all the time, but hey its a start.
The other kids are doing well, and we had a great visit to the Library on Friday. Gabe has been very interested in Harry Potter, as has Caleb, so we checked out a couple of the books and movies.
Things have been running smoothly around here, and going well with Mike and I. Although, right now he has a cold and is home from work. He surprised everyone at home and at work when he shaved his head Friday night. We went to his mom's for dinner, and she was less than enthusiastic about his hair cut. She used his FULL name. And then she looked at me and said, "You helped him didn't you?" I wasn't sticking around for any more of that conversation, so I hightailed it to the living room to hide from her.
We also cut and dyed mine last week, turned out well, a nice burgundy color that looks reddish or purplish depending on the light.
I'm still figuring out the new computer, trying to figure out how I can add a new profile pic, and try out my new webcam. It's easy enough on Facebook and Myspace, but it's set up different on here.

As far as life goes, we are adjusting as a family to having 2 extra people here. Adrian has been a handful, and has been hitting and yelling, but I figure that's because he's getting used to the changes around him. Jane also got her due date, May 15, which is the day before Adrian's 3rd birthday. The question now is will she go early or late?

Changes Around Here

2009-11-03T21:24:00.002-06:00

Well things are going well, and amazingly there have been very few bumps lately. I've been trying to lose some weight for the last couple of months and I'm proud to say that its finally happening. I'm actually able to fit in a sports bra, which I haven't been able to do for quite a while. You see, when you go from a 48 to a 44, things suddenly fit. Like all those shirts I bought last year on sale, the ones I said I'd wear when I lost some boob. Now I can actually try and do that!
And, I'm actually wearing makeup! I haven't bought makeup in at least 4 years, and probably worn it only once or twice in that time period. Well, I bit the bullet and actually forked out the cash to buy some, and have been actually WEARING it! Totally amazes the hubby, and has gotten me more than a few looks from a lot of people.
And I also cut my hair. I've had long hair since before hubby and I got together. When we first started seeing each other it was all the way to my butt. It's usually stayed in the mid-back range in the last 12 years. Not anymore! It's now about shoulder length, maybe a little shorter. And tomorrow, we're coloring the gray that I started to notice yesterday. Hows that for change? I've lost about 2 sizes in the last few months. Not a lot for some people, but when you consider that I've struggled with my weight since my oldest was a baby, it's a big deal to me. I'm aiming for a size 20 by January. That's not a ton of weight loss, because I'm a 22-24 right now, but it's hard for me. That's been at the root of a lot of my problems for a long time. I'm not comfortable in my body, so its hard for me to think that anyone else finds me attractive, including my hubby. I'm finally to the point where I'm taking care of ME for a change instead of just hiding and trying not to be noticed. I normally am always home with the kids, I don't go out places, except for shopping which we do as a family. But that's slowly changing too! I've actually left the house alone a few times in the last month or so, and had FUN! Weird for me, because I always feel like people are staring at me, making fat girl jokes or something.
The best part of all of this is that hubby has told me that he's proud of what I'm doing, and that he likes the changes. It's taken a lot to even ask him how he felt, because of how low my self esteem has been for a long time. I'm not agoraphobic, but I hate being out in public. So it takes some doing for me to WANT to leave the house by myself, without using him or the kids as my shield from people's eyes.
For the longest time, I've been living vicariously through the blogs I read. I live through some of the experiences that I read others doing. I'm finally living myself, instead of wishing or thinking about it.
As a good friend of mine said: "About damn time!"

Long Weekend

2009-11-02T13:59:00.002-06:00

Spent a busy weekend with the kids and friends. Went trick or treating with the kids, but James decided that he wanted to stay home and play video games with dad. So Jane and I took the others out and had a fairly decent time.
The kids got plenty of loot, and had a blast in the process. In fact, the boys keep putting their costumes on and running around playing ninja's.

I've had a lot on my mind the last few weeks, which has made keeping the blog up and running a bit of a difficulty. So many things that I want to post and the words just don't work. I've been trying to get all the things in my head down on paper or on here, but so far it's just not happening.

I'm Back!!!

2009-10-29T23:08:00.003-05:00

Well that was too long of a break! I just (tonight!) got my netbook and set it up. So now I'm getting used to the smaller keyboard and how much faster than my old laptop it is. Amazing. And this one has a built in webcam, and of course wireless so I can take it anywhere!

James' birthday went well, and he did get a few things like an rc car from us and my mom and stepdad got him a couple little cars as well. We've been running around like crazy getting things ready for winter, and fixing the car again. Go figure! So far we've managed to avoid any major illnesses this fall, which is unusual for us. I can only attribute it to us being home more since they aren't at public school now. There is a lot of it going around in the neighborhood right now though and I'm grateful that we haven't caught it.
Not a whole lot else going on right now, just getting ready for Halloween and planning on having Dad and Colleen down for Thanksgiving. He's excited because this will be the first Thanksgiving he's spent with any of his kids in a LONG time.
Hope to post more since this thing works sooooooo much better than the old one.

Laptop Died!

2009-10-18T10:51:00.004-05:00

Not sure how often I'll be able to get on here in the next couple of weeks, as my laptop decided to die a fairly slow and painful (for me!) death. It's no longer even turning on, so my wonderful brother in law is going to salvage what he can off the hard drive and help me to put it on a new computer (when I finally manage to get one!). Right now I'm using hubby's not-so-ancient-but-very-slow desktop. It has brainfarts, so when I type anything it takes two to three times as long as it normally would because I have to wait for the computer to catch up. So not fun!

On the plus side, since I'm on his computer, I don't have to try 20,000,000,000,000 times to get it to turn on and then hope that it doesn't shut itself down while I take a potty break like my laptop was tending to do towards the last. I'm hoping that he can salvage my pics and files, but not overly hopeful at this point, given the fact that as of late, whatever can go wrong does go wrong.
For example, Mike fixed his car last week right? Wrong! The bearing that he changed is shot too, and we don't know why, as it's only a week old. He bought rotors but why put them on when you'll just have to tear it all apart and do it again? So this weekend has been spent, not with family time, but with him still trying to fix the car. It sucks, because the weather has been especially crappy, going up and down all the last 2 weeks, and I may be walking everywhere this week if he can't fix the problem.

Not much else going on here, we are doing things for James' 12th birthday a little late, because with all the car troubles we just don't have the money. So I told him that he and I will go shopping on the 30th and then the whole family will go out to dinner where he picks. What should I get for a 12yo boy? He likes cars, but I worry about Gabe messing with them. He likes games, especially racing games, but that gets expensive quick.

Quick Note: In case my sis is reading, Happy Birthday Brianna!!!!! Would have messaged you, but like I posted, the laptop is D-E-A-D! Happy Early Birthday to You too, in case my computer problems aren't fixed before then! Call me at home some time sis!

10 More Days....

2009-10-13T12:36:00.002-05:00

...And James will be 12 years old! His due date was the 17th of October, and by then I was 80% effaced and dilated to 2. I spent the next 6 days dilated to 2, so we thought when I went in for my induction that it would go smoothly. We were sooo wrong.

Went in at 7am and filled out all the paperwork, and got into my room and gown. They did all their usual stuff, checking me and giving me an IV and hooking up the monitor. After a bit, we started walking the halls in an attempt to get him moving and on his way. No such luck. I labored all day, and the doc broke my water at 6pm. I'd gotten to 6cm at about 4pm and was stuck there. Labor was SO intense after that, and by 8pm I was BEGGING them for an epidural. I still hadn't progressed beyond 6cm, and I figured I could at least get some sleep before the really hard stuff started (ie pushing). By 9 pm, James had started having a few decels here and there (times where his heart rate would slow). The doc came in and said if I didn't have him by 11, they were going to start prepping for a c-section. Needless to say, nothing happened! And James was born at 12:22 am on the 23rd of October via c-section. He weighed in at 8lbs 10.5 oz, and was 20 inches long. He had a full head of hair, and beautiful blue eyes that later changed to brown.
Now, he's almost as tall as me (and I'm 5 ft 2 or about there) and weighs in at about 110 lbs or so. He's grown so much, and matured some, and is starting to show an interest in girls. Particularly a certain 17 yo girl that lives 3 doors down from us! We keep joking with him about her and telling him that she's WAY too old for him. But I'm sure it's just a crush, or at least I hope it is.
I just can't believe that my baby is going to be 12. God, I feel OLD!

Wow Have We Been Busy!

2009-10-10T17:01:00.004-05:00

Wow hard to believe how fast the last couple of weeks has flown! Took Mike a while to get the car fixed as he broke a couple of bolts and also messed up the wheel bearing. So he had my van for a few days and we got to catch up on things at home, and I even took the kids for a couple of rides on the city bus. We've tamed the laundry monster, and even washed the blankets and quilts already that we've had stored away waiting for winter.
Last night our low was 27 degrees, and we have a freeze warning and a frost warning that started yesterday and goes through Monday. We even had it trying to snow today! Just little flakes that didn't stay long on the ground, but enough to tell us that winter is on it's way.
Today Caitlin and I went to the farmer's market, and we spent about an hour just wandering around and picking up veggies for the rest of this week. We picked up cabbages, squash, sweet corn, cherry tomatoes, bell peppers and from the Mennonite stand we picked up strawberry cream cheese bread and spicy apple cinnamon bread. From the last stand we went to we picked up big apples that we're going to use tonight for baked apples for dessert, and small apples for the kids to snack on.
Along with the baked apples, we are having turkey tenderloin with bell peppers done in the crock pot, and baked cabbage and corn. The house smells sooooo good right now. I've been baking more the last few weeks, making up banana bread, blueberry bread and corn bread, as well as making biscuits. It helps warm up the house and also gives the kids a great treat for lunch or dinner. They've been helping me with the baking and cooking, and we count the reading that we do as part of our school day.
Nothing tastes better than something you've helped make! Tomorrow I plan to make up another big pan of corn bread, and maybe do up a pork roast if we don't go to the in-laws for dinner.
School has been going well, and Gabe has been "reading" on his own, mostly picture books and Disney books. His favorites so far are The Lion King and Pinocchio. He's had dad and I both read them to him over and over. He's also showing an interest in doing journal time with the other kids, with his favorite thing to draw being faces. He draws like a preschooler, with people being big circles of mostly head, with lines for the arms and legs coming right out of the head. It's great to see him being so interested in the books, as before he would have thrown a fit if I'd suggested that he pick up a book (much less read it!).
He's also started doing some simple chores around the house without much of a fight. He puts socks in the basket, calls the other kids for me, and takes dishes to the sink. He also has been eating better as of late, and sleeping a little better. Weird how all of a sudden things are going so well, but I'm not complaining!
That's all for now I guess, can't wait to see how dinner and dessert turn out!

Long Weekend!

2009-09-30T09:48:00.003-05:00

Well, the weekend went fairly well. No major issues, just a couple of smart-alec comments and attitude problems. Sunday we went and looked at a house, but decided that even though we could make it work to suit us, we're just not convinced that it's where we are meant to be at this time. Monday wasn't so great, as when Mike was fixing a part on the car, another part broke off. So he's been using my van this week, and will get the part that he ordered on Thursday or Friday.
Fixing the car means we probably won't be doing anything longer than a day trip this month. I had planned on maybe taking in the museum and the Domes, and maybe a few other things on a 2-3 day trip, but financially it just isn't feasible right now. I want to concentrate on getting all the little things done that we need to do before winter. Like getting his tires, and getting the salt for the sidewalk. We usually get a few 25 lb bags, and we each keep one in our vehicle, plus we have a few for the house. We also want to get a few windows covered with plastic, to help insulate.

But, the best news that I've gotten so far is that my dad is getting his books published! He got word this morning that Barnes and Noble and Amazon will both be carrying his book within the next week or so! And he also gave his publisher some other manuscripts and they will be starting production on those within the next few weeks. They are supposed to be sending him a list of 50 of the 200 companies/people/groups/whatever that will be carrying his books within the next little bit.
I'm so happy for him, he deserves to be happy with all that's gone on in his life.

Busy Day Yesterday

2009-09-20T08:16:00.002-05:00

Every time I get ready for a trip back and forth to Milwaukee (or more precisely, several in one day!) I forget how tired I am by the end of the day. Wow was I wiped lout last night. Got home about 7:30 and was asleep by 9:30, finally woke up about 7:30 this morning.
Left home yesterday about 9 in the morning to go and get Dad and Colleen. Had Gabe, Caleb, and Adrian with me for the trip. There was a lot of construction on the way up and back. Finally got back with them about 12:30 or so, between the construction and potty breaks on the way there and back.
Went to David's birthday party and had a great time! Cake, ice cream, presents and pinata. Lots of chatter and playing. Catching up on what all had happened in each others' lives since we last saw each other on the 2nd. Left to take them back up about 3:30 because there was a game Dad wanted to catch last night. Pretty uneventful trip back, aside from the construction.
Took a side trip before I went back home. I drove by the school I used to go to, our old house and my grandma's old place. Just remembering how things used to be. I never missed a visit with her, every time I was up I went to see her. Usually at least once a month, sometimes more often, we'd make the hour trip to see her and spend the day in Milwaukee. I spent most of the month up there when she was in the hospital the last time. I'd leave work on Thursday or Friday depending on my schedule, I'd stop back home and grab one (or more) of the kids and grab mom and we'd all head up there. We'd come back sometime Monday morning. I'd grab a power nap and be ready for 3rd shift and do it all over again. I'm glad we got to spend all that time at the end with her. I think about her every time I go to Milwaukee. The way I would take to her house, the way to the hospital, to Kevin's work. The way grandma would laugh when the kids were goofing around.
Makes for lots of memories on every trip. Not all great memories, especially the ones about the last few days of her life, but a majority are great ones.
I'm planning our next field trip for October and I think it's going to be a few-day-trip to Milwaukee to see the Museum and the Domes, and of course Dad and Colleen. Maybe we can even catch a fall festival or something. All I know is if things work out the way I hope, we can have a lot of fun and enjoy our few days up there.

Changes..And Good Ones!

2009-09-17T10:03:00.002-05:00

The wheels of change are working in our favor right now! I can't go into details, but suffice to say that things are getting better. Financially, things are getting caught up, vehicle-wise things are getting straightened around, and there may also be a move in our future.
I know, we already moved, and yes we're happy where we are. But IF we move, it will be a better environment neighbor-wise for the kids. And we'll be closer to Grandma. It's not a definite thing yet, but it is "in the works" so to speak.

Saturday will be busy, as I have 2 trips to Milwaukee and back to get Dad and Colleen. And again sometime between the 24-27th so he and Colleen can come back down and meet my sister's kids for the first time ever.
School is going well, kids are doing well. Mike and I are doing well. Hope to post more about our experiences and what will hopefully be happening at our place soon!

Bugging Me...

2009-09-15T12:27:00.006-05:00

Okay, so there's a few things that are bugging me right now. One, is people who say that their only child is so hard to deal with, but then in the next breath tell me that they're trying for number 2(or 3 or whatever). If you can't handle the one you have, why are you trying to have more? Only children can do fine, they don't HAVE to have a ton of siblings to make things ok.

Two, the way that my own kids act when I tell them "one more time and you lose xyz privilege for the day" and they feel the need to keep at whatever they are being told not to do in the first place. Today for example, Caleb is making LOUD obnoxious noises, I tell him nicely to stop please several times. Then, I tell him this is his last "nice warning" and that if he continues to make those noises he will lose the love of his life (which right now is Xbox). He looked right at me, opened his mouth and smiled while he made the same noises over and over again. So obviously he has lost that privilege for the day, and possibly for tomorrow if he doesn't straighten up.
Ok, all better on that one too.

Three, people who think they have to tell me every time they see me that my child should be doing xyz because their child is, and how slow my kid must be because he's not. Mind your own business and take care of your own kid. Yes, your little booger may be able to add 3 digit numbers, but he can't operate the washer or dryer, nor can he make (or even pay attention long enough to help) dinner. My kid may not be the next Nobel Prize winner, but he's not the next little thug that's gonna get picked up for throwing bricks through windows and snatching stereos either. Yes, I'm proud to say that I'm the most over-protective mom on the block. But that means while your kid is out running the streets and catching god-knows-what from his little girlfriend, mine is at home, staying out of trouble, not taking a chance with his health or getting some girl in the family way.
My kids may be naive, but I'm proud to say that I'm hopefully not the one who's gonna be a grandma in a couple years when my 13-14-15 yo gets knocked up or gets someone else's little girl knocked up because he/she/they were not being properly supervised and taught that those activities can cause babies (or diseases that can harm or kill later down the line).
I'm not trying to play holier-than-thou games. Kids make mistakes, and it is our job to teach them the correct way of doing things. I was a teenager once, been there done that. I wasn't a perfect child, I made plenty of mistakes, but I was also taught to learn from the mistakes I made.
When Mike and I got married, we were 18. He had already graduated, and I was in my senior year of high school. When we married, we had just found out a few weeks before that I was pregnant. Was it a good decision to mess around and get pregnant? Not really, but the fact of the matter was, I wasn't going to not have the baby. I knew that once I made the decision to have sex, that it was my responsibility if I got pregnant. That's not to say that there weren't times where I wished that I wasn't pregnant. There were, plenty of times in fact. But I don't believe that it was an option for me to not have the baby. It's just the way I was raised. If I had it to do over again, would I do it the same? Probably not. I think I would have waited to be with Mike, waited to have a baby. But I wouldn't trade him or the other kids for anything.

Sorry, I'm just in a rant-y type mood today. Dealing with a lot of things right now, and very frustrated with the way things are going.

Great Weekend!

2009-09-14T14:20:00.002-05:00

We had a great weekend. We took the kids and Scooby to Heritage Days. They got to dog for potatoes, ride in a horse drawn carriage, see a blacksmith work (actually 2 blacksmiths!), and see an old Mill. They got to watch some people grind corn into meal, and see an old cooperage. It was an awesome day!
Scooby was very well behaved, and got plenty of compliments on how well he was behaving with the other dogs there and other kids. Caleb found half of an old hinge, and the blacksmith straightened it out for him and told him he could take it home. Caitlin found a dead bat (no she didn't take that home!), and all the kids got to look at it. We visited the people that run the honey stand at the Farmer's Market downtown. Bought more honey and got to taste several different flavors.
When the kids dug for potatoes, they got about 40+ in 10 minutes of the 4 of them working together. They also got to look at all the different crafts that people did during the fall/winter season when they spent more time indoors. Basket weaving, rug making, re-caning chairs. We got to watch some of the older men carving on wood and making little trinkets. There was even a man there who carved a beautiful chain out of one solid piece of wood. The little links in the chain were just awesome!
Scooby was very intimidated by the horses, and sat there hiding behind my legs while the horses whinnied and neighed at him. He did seem to enjoy meeting all the people, especially the other kids.
And the kids got to see a mock-up of the Civil War era tents and weapons, along with how they built fires and cooked their food. They were amazed by the way things used to be back then. And last night for dinner, we made a beef roast with the wonderful fresh potatoes that the kids dug. All in all a good day together. Everyone enjoyed themselves immensely, even Gabe, up until the last few minutes when he decided that he'd had enough and wanted to go home.
I think we have enough to work on in our journals for the next week or so, and we'll continue to learn more about the early 1900's and how they used to amuse themselves over the winter, what they ate and how things were done back then.

Bored...

2009-09-12T14:34:00.002-05:00

Got bored, so I figured I'd use my time to mess around on here and change things up a bit. Not too bad if I do say so myself. We've been adding to our school day little by little during the week. Most of what Gabe's been doing school-wise is "child-led" type stuff. He's been willing to work with me on counting, as we use skittles or m & m's or other small candy pieces to count. He's also done the alphabet (repeating) on average of 3-4x a day with me. The other kids are doing journaling, and we do it first thing in the morning before our workbooks.
Attitudes still need some adjusting, but all in all it was a pretty laid back week. We got a lot done, and also did our regular housework and laundry.

Today was Scooby's first vet visit. He got his shots, was weighed (27.5 lbs) and was generally checked over. He's in perfect health, and goes back in 3 weeks for a booster shot. He and Shorty are getting along fairly well, no major issues there. He's very food-oriented and is willing to sit or lay down if he thinks you have a treat for him. I'll be getting their licenses on Friday, and plan to start walking them more then. They both walk together well already, bit Scooby needs to learn to not walk in front of me when we're walking.

Not much else going on, just sitting around today watching the kids play video games and the dogs sleep.

Frustrated

2009-09-08T22:38:00.001-05:00

As some of you may know, we've been Home-schooling the kids since December. It's gone pretty well for the most part. We have more time to devote to the areas that each one needs extra help with. Mostly anyway. James has struggled with his reading since Kindergarten. It's gotten a LOT better, but in all reality he really reads at about a 3rd grade level. When he was in public school they had him held back (they say no learning disabilities), and if he were still in public, they would have him going into 4th grade this year instead of 6th like he should be going into. I'm looking for ideas to encourage him to want to read more.
Caitlin is about 2nd-3rd grade as well, she's had some issues as well with reading, but with her it seems to be more of the not wanting to sound it out in case she's wrong variety. I'd love to hear from any of you on ideas for motivating her to want to learn to read better as well.

My big problems right now are Caleb and Gabe. Caleb is currently doing 3rd grade work (as well as Caitlin), except in reading. In reading he's at about a late kinder level. He's learning, but very slowly. Math isn't a problem, he's great at it as long as it's not story problems lol. What I've been doing with them is if they need help reading something, as long as they're willing to try and read it and make the effort to sound it out etc, I will help them figure it out (book reading wise, for workbooks I read the directions and then help individually with issues as they arise).
Caleb doesn't seem to have any "drive" to want to learn things on his own, unless it's about snakes or scorpions. I've tried to make things about his preferred subjects, but there are only so many things that you can do.
Gabe is the hardest, and the reason that we break our school day into 30 minute (or less some days) increments. He HATES school of any kind with a passion. It gets better sometimes, but that's usually very very rare. He knows the alphabet, although he still reverses letters (usually p, q, r, m, w), can count to 10 with help most days (has even counted to 15 on occasion). But he has no excitement to learn, he doesn't want to be made to do things that seem to have no meaning for him.
He's working on pre-k to kinder level work, and has made alot (for him) of progress since December. But I'm really worried that maybe I can't do a good enough job with him. I worry that he'll never learn to read, never potty train all the way, never talk clearly enough. You name it I worry about it.
It's gotten to the point where I really wonder if it was so bad sending him to school everyday. The screaming and biting and tantrums and throwing things and all that. He got to the point for the longest time where we had to spell out the word school or he'd totally flip out and cry/scream/hit. He's getting to the point now where we can go past a school without him getting anxious, but it's taken since I pulled him in December. That's a LONG time to be worried. I don't want him to be like that again, but I also don't want to fail him as a parent or as a teacher. He's so hard to teach, and some days I wonder if I can reach him with as far away as he seems.
I guess I'm just looking for some reassurance that it does get easier, that he will learn.

New School Year

2009-09-07T19:38:00.003-05:00

Not a whole lot going on here, just gearing up for another school year. James is doing 5th grade this year, the twins are doing 3rd, and Gabe is doing 2nd grade. Or more correctly, he's in 2nd, doing Kindergarten age work. But it's better than it was at this time last year. I've gotten a lot accomplished with him. He's also much happier with how things are going now.

Shorty is home, he's doing great. I went and got him on Saturday and I couldn't believe how happy he was to be home. He and Scooby are getting along fine, almost as if he missed Scooby as well as the rest of us.
Gabe is finally feeling a little better, no more fever, but very chapped lips. And the more chapped they get, the more he resists my putting anything on them. They were getting quite cracked for a few days there, but are starting to heal now. Still has a cough, and a bit of a stuffy nose. Hoping that all goes away soon.
And the boys all got haircuts tonight too. Buzzed it right on down lol. This will probably be the last haircut for a while, maybe till Spring.
We're going to do a bunch of Fall stuff for the first couple of weeks for school. Then about Mid-October we will start doing Halloween things. I plan to do studies on the origins of Halloween and then Thanksgiving in November, and then on the origins of Christmas and New Years celebrations. We aquired a book entitled "Holidays Around the World" and we plan to do a number of lessons out of it.

Guess I need to get moving and finish finding the pencils and sharpeners before we start our studies in the morning.

Not Much Going on Here

2009-09-03T23:16:00.003-05:00

We had Mom's birthday party (surprise party!) on Wednesday. I drove up to Milwaukee to get Dad and Colleen, and took them back up after the party(and didn't finally get home until a little after 11pm!). Dad got to meet some of the people from the VFW/American Legion post where mom and Dave go, as that's where we had the party.
They also got to spend some time with the kids and have dinner with us. Gabe wasn't in the best of moods, as he's working on another cold/sinus infection/plague. Seems like every time the weather changes dramatically he gets sick again. But this time I can partially blame it on Adrian. He was over last weekend hacking and coughing with a runny nose and bad attitude, and gave it to Gabe. Problem with Gabe being sick and feeling crappy is that since his nose is running all the time, he's always wiping it on his sleeve, and he's been licking his lips CONSTANTLY! Poor thing looks like he's been rubbing cherry koolaid all over his mouth and chin, that's how red it is. And with the runny nose also comes the drooling.
We've had the drooling under control for the most part, but when stressed or sick he drools more, and chews his shirts more. He's ruined at least a dozen since the beginning of the move.
We started going through our books for school today and even managed to read some. I'm planning on formally starting on Monday, and from there we will be on a 4 day a week school schedule. I'd like to do 3 weeks on and 1 week off, ideally. But we all know how things work out when we want to do something a particular way around here.
I'm hoping that Gabe will be feeling better by next week. For all our sakes! The more icky and out of sorts he feels, the worse he makes every one else feel. Tonight we went to Walmart to pick up some last minute things for dinner, and to pick up some school supplies. That went pretty decent until he decided that it wasn't fair that he wasn't getting a toy. Wow, you'd have thought I said that we were going to amputate his feet and make him walk over hot coals! All hell broke loose - at the checkout of course - and Mike had to take him out to the van to calm down. The cashier was very nice about it, and we talked about autism and mental retardation while she scanned our things. But the "lady" in front of us in line wasn't so nice about it. Kept shaking her head at us and mumbling things about kids these days and needing a good butt-warming.
Of course to top off the wonderful week I've been having, my computer is acting up. Sometimes it just doesn't want to turn back on and takes a few tries to get up and running. I'm actually thinking of buying a new laptop when we get taxes back in February. Maybe.
guess that's all for now, gotta go give the little monster his cough meds so he can hopefully sleep a little better tonight.

Been a While.

2009-09-01T19:30:00.003-05:00

Wow what a month it's been. Not all of it great, but I guess it could have been worse. Somehow. Maybe.

Our move went fairly well, no real problems there. Just lots and lots of small trips over the space of the month, and then a couple of weekends worth of HUGE trips. We are getting settled, and into our new routine. The kids' beds came on the 18th, and we got them set up and looking great in no time. Our room is slowly getting unpacked, and little things all over the house are finally getting put where they need to be.
The boys have the big loft bedroom upstairs this time, and we have it separated into two bedrooms. I shouldn't say WE have it that way, it's naturally that way. The smaller room is on the right at the top of the stairs is James' room, and also has Adrian's toddler bed in it, along with James' dresser. The larger bedroom has the boys' and Adrian's dressers, a captain's bed with trundle, and a full size futon. And of course all the seasonal clothes that I need to switch over in the next few weeks.

The last week has been really hard though. I posted before about the neighbor kids, and how he was coming over all the time. Well, I'd been hearing from the neighbors that he wasn't to be trusted around the dogs, as he's been caught mistreating several of the other neighbors dogs. Hitting, kicking, throwing rocks and sticks, running at the fence, etc. I figured maybe it was exaggeration, and that as long as he was supervised, it would be fine.
Guess what? I was wrong. Very wrong. He's been caught several times over here being rough with the puppy and the dog, and been told to settle down and not be so rough. Last Tuesday, he and Caitlin were on the back patio playing with Shorty (our 100+ lb shepherd/mastiff mix). The playing got rough, and the neighbor boy was "pretending" to kick and hit at the dog. Well, the dog turned around, and one of the kicks connected. With the dogs FACE! Shorty grabbed him by the leg, and let go. No punctures, no stitches, only a couple of scratches and a bruise. If he'd WANTED to hurt him, he could have done so with no problem. Shorty came in and hid, he knew he did something wrong. The kid was fine, said he was ok and it didn't hurt. He didn't even tell his mom until almost 8 that night (this happened around noon). His mom took him to the clinic to get it checked. Fine, no problem, I would do the same thing if it were my kid.
The problem came Thursday, when Animal Control came to the house. The lady was really nice, and explained that when a dog bite is reported, she has to come out, and all that jazz. That wasn't a problem for us, we understood. The problem was that she showed us the paperwork from the Dr visit. The mom apparently (according to the paper) told them that the dog was "a purebred pitbull" and "ran out of the house unprovoked and bit him". And since Shorty was overdue on his shots because of all of our funds going for the move, he needs to be quarantined for 10 days at the vet's office, at a cost of $400+ to us. A whole lot of freakin drama. And of course his mom is apparently expecting me to foot the bill for this. I told her that I'd be happy to HELP pay for the visit, but she's beating around the bush about wanting me to pay the whole cost for the visit, and any and all other bills that she can claim to be related to this. I understand about being morally responsible for my animal, but really? To expect me to pay the whole cost, for a couple of scratches that were incurred when your child was causing the trouble in the first place????
That's like me saying my kid beat up your kid on the playground, and since my kid also got a broken nose out of it, you should pay for your kid and mine. Talk about some BS. Especially since her kid has been caught doing this crap before, and SHE KNOWS ABOUT IT!
Shorty should be coming home sometime Saturday night. As of right now, NO child is allowed over here without his/her parents unless we are both home. And no child is allowed in the yard if the dog is outside. It's not for their protection, it's for the dog's.
So, yeah this month has really sucked. September HAS to be better than August was.

Busy Busy Busy

2009-08-13T15:09:00.003-05:00

Been busy packing things into boxes and taking them little by little across town. Mostly 4-5 boxes at a time, and unpacking what I can, and stacking what I can't. We moved the dressers, leaving just enough clothes here for the kids to wear till we are fully moved. My brother in law is putting a new back door and screen door on, and should be done with that this weekend.
The kids' new beds will be delivered this next week sometime, and as soon as that happens, I plan to move the rest of what we have left here over there. I already put in the change of address forms, just waiting for them to change it now lol.
Met the new neighbor, she has a kid who is 7 and another who is 13 I think she said. Whenever we come over with more boxes, her son comes over and asks to play with Gabe. It seems like the more I pack and bring over, the more crap there is to pack.

In other news, we have a new puppy. His name (chosen by Gabe) is Scooby. His birthday is May 17, and he is a beautiful fawn color. He's mostly potty trained, and we are crate training right now. He's also learning to walk on his leash, come when he's called and not chew my shoes.

Not too much else going on, just packing, packing and more packing.

We're Moving!!!!

2009-07-26T18:19:00.003-05:00

The best call in the world came today, just when I'd resigned myself to staying here another year or two. My sister called, and we were offered a chance to rent the house we were in before, without the drama from before. And, for less money than before!!!! We are going to meet tomorrow, and we can have the month of August free! Wow, words can't express how thrilled I am right now.

I've been going over in my head the things that I'm going to get rid of, either rummage sale wise or by donating/junking/giving away. And what all I need to pack, how long it will take to move, and all that jazz. Last time, we moved EVERYTHING in a matter of 3 days! The whole house, in 3 days. Not happening this time. I've already got 1o boxes packed and stacked in my closet and room, and another 8 packed and stacked on shelves in the kitchen. Not to mention the stuff I've had packed away upstairs that was never unpacked in the first place. This should be fairly painless and easy.

I'll give our 30 day notice on the 1st, and fix whatever little things I need to fix here through the month. We need to replace a couple blinds, and patch a bit of plaster where it's cracked. And of course give the house a final cleaning once we have stuff outta the house and outta the way.

We decided to get the kids new beds from the rent a center place here, and I'll go on the first to arrange that, they're called captain's beds with a trundle underneath them. And once they're paid down, we're going to get the kids new dressers too. I'm so full of energy right now, I just can't sit still. The other place isn't carpeted so I'll have to look for some area rugs and maybe a nice large rug for the living room. So many things that I'm thinking of right now.

In Loving Memory of Mildred Mae Roberts

2009-07-15T21:47:00.003-05:00

Four years ago tonight, at 8:16pm, my grandma passed away. I still can't believe that it's been that long. I can still feel it like it was yesterday.

It all started July 1, 2005. We'd gotten a call from my uncle Kevin, telling us that grandma was in the hospital. She'd had a heart attack and fell and broke her hip, although they weren't sure if the fall had caused the heart attack or vice versa. Her hip was broken so badly that there wasn't a whole lot they could do, she had lain there all day until Kev had gotten home and her leg was already turning black from lack of circulation. Her other leg was turning black too, she'd already had a massive sore on it that had never healed properly and her circulation was so bad that they weren't sure if she would keep either leg.
By the next day, her left leg (the unbroken side) had swelled to twice it's size and was completely black. They had to take the leg. By the next weekend, it was clear that the other leg would have to come off, as it was doing the same. She had an infection that was making her very ill. She gave up when they took her legs, and we knew then that she'd probably never make it home.

She ended up on a vent, after the surgeries, and it was like she didn't care anymore if she came off or not. She let the vent breathe for her, after the initial fight when she woke up unsure of what all the tubes and wires were. She didn't want to live that way, and the decision was made to make her comfortable and take her off the vent, and let her spend the rest of her time with her family surrounding her.
My mom, her brothers and sis, all their kids, and my sister's kids and Gabe were all there. I'd brought the other 3 up to see her on the previous weekends that we'd been there. I'd taken Fridays and Mondays off since it happened, and we would leave Thursday after I got off work and we'd drive back down on Monday evening, so she wasn't alone.
They took her off the vent about 11am, and we all spent time talking to her about our favorite memories. We talked about grandpa, and mom and her siblings growing up. Talked about all the things that we'd always hoped she'd see. Most of all, we let her know that we loved her and that it was ok for her to go and be with grandpa.
My sisters left in the late afternoon. And my aunt and uncles followed about 7-730 or so. Mom had walked them out to the car, and grandma started slowing down. It was just me, Gabe and my brothers, so I sent them for mom, told them to hurry because I thought this might be it.
Gabe and I held her hands and he gave her kisses. I tried so hard not to cry, I wanted her to remember us happy. I told her it was ok if she couldn't wait. That mom and the other kids would understand. And, at 8:16, she closed her eyes forever with a long sigh.
Mom came in a few minutes later, running as fast as she could. She knew before she got to grandma though, and sent the boys for the nurse.
Mom told me she thought grandma waited till she left, and I know that it hurt her feelings. I think grandma was trying, but just couldn't hold on any longer.

Rest in Peace Grandma!

Mildred Mae Roberts
FEB 9 1937 - JUL 15 2005

We miss you!

Thinking About School

2009-07-14T21:54:00.003-05:00

Been trying to write this post for a while, and keep getting stumped as to how to word it. Colossal writers block. I've been trying to figure our schedule and curriculum for this coming school year. I know, kind of late in the game for some and early for others. I had planned to start our school year on September 1st, just like the public schools here. But I don't know if I want to start at the same time or start a week or 2 later.
I already figured that we are going to do a 4 day school week, with Fridays off. And am tentatively thinking that we are either going to do 3 weeks on and 1 week off, or do 5 weeks on and 1 week off. That way we have time planned to do field trips, and visits with grandparents and all that jazz.
James is really thinking about Unit studies, which I think is a great idea, but I want to make sure that he's getting work in all academic areas. I'm also thinking of doing the same with Caleb and Caitlin. So I figure that we'll use our free Friday's to pick what the next weeks topic will be, and go from there. I'm also picking up workbooks - thick ones lol - that have a variety of lessons that will help them with grade level appropriate skills.
Gabe is the hard one, he is progressing at his own pace, but it still in the "fight with mom about doing school" phase. I've got some great learning cd-roms for him, and a Hooked on Phonics program, as well as a ton of games for his V-Smile, including numbers and letters and such. He's just recently (in the last week) finally shown an interest in any of the games and has even started playing a few of them. His fav's so far are Thomas and Scooby Doo, and the Scooby one is the one he is the best at.
My biggest fear is that with as slow as he is progressing he'll have a hard time learning to read and write clearly, since James learned to read late and had a really hard time with it. James reads fairly well now, so I know once we get past the hard part things will go smoother, it's just getting him to the point that he can recognize that letters make words, and words make sentences that's hard. He knows the letters, can even tell me the sounds most days, but doesn't seem to make the connection that c-a-t is cat. It took quite some time for the twins too, and both of them are still having little problems here and there sounding things out. Caitlin is reading at level, but Caleb isn't, he is more at a late kinder early 1st grade level, and has been there for over a year. That was also a deciding factor in bringing them home. He simply wasn't getting the help he needed at school, or the one on one attention to help him progress. The just read it to him and said what do you think is the answer. If he got it incorrect, they told him the answer. That doesn't teach him anything, it's really just the same as doing it for him.
With him and Gabe being at a lower level than the other 2, I'm working with both of them together on Reading skills, and phonics. Caleb can read some easy books, but gets frustrated easily. He can't spell easy, but he can spell b-e-c-a-u-s-e! I have to laugh because when he spells it out loud he sings it. "B-e-c-a-u-s-e spells because!"
James is reading chapter books, and so can Caitlin, IF it's something she WANTS to read, otherwise she pulls the "but I don't know how to sound that out!" or the always wonderful constant asking of "what's that word" over and over.
All in all, I know some of our goals for this year:

Gabe
1) Gabe will learn to consistently make all the sounds of the letters.
2) Gabe will learn to consistently write all letters. (at this point I dont care if lower case or not)
3) Gabe will consistently copy and say all letters to 20 (he repeats up to 20, sometimes even higher depending on motivation, but has only written to 10)
4) Gabe will learn to put letters together into words. (ideally, i'd like him to learn at least 1 word a week, but i don't know if that's pushing to hard or not yet)
5) Gabe will learn to do simple chores (without having constant hand-over-hand to make him)

Caleb
1) Caleb will learn 5 new words per week (and still be able to spell previously learned ones)
2) Caleb will write on the lines with correct spacing so it can be read
3) Caleb will control his body ( a BIG one, he has no concept of personal space!)
4) Caleb will rotate chores and learn to properly do them
5)Caleb will raise his reading and comprehension level by practicing reading at least 20 minutes each day.

Caitlin
1) Caitlin will learn at least 5 new words per week (see above)
2) Caitlin will write on the lines with correct spacing so it can be read
3) Caitlin will sit quietly when doing schoolwork (constant chatter, kind of like Caleb's lack of concept of personal space)
4) Caitlin will rotate chores without complaint and learn to do them properly
5) Caitlin will raise her reading and comprehension levels by practicing reading at least 20 minutes each day.

James
1) James will learn to write paragraphs with correct punctuation and grammar.
2) James will work on his handwriting skills and improve them.
3) James will stay on task and complete things in a timely manner.
4) James will rotate chores without complaint and learn to do them properly.
5) James will raise his reading and comprehension levels by reading at least 20 minutes each day.

Pretty simple? Yes, but it lets me know what is the most important thing to be working on at a particular time. Goals change, quite often in fact, but this it what we are starting on. I think about what we are having problems with both academically and family wise (see #4 lol) and go from there.
Right now we are having a lot of issues with calling names, shirking chores and not doing things correctly the first time they are asked. In my opinion, learning to do chores is just as important as learning to read. Who will hire someone that will not do what they need to get done? No one! A big rule around here is if you chose not to do things at home, why should I believe that you will so the same thing elsewhere. I.E. if you can't behave at home, why should I think that you will behave in public. Or if you can't manage your assigned chores, why should you be allowed to mow lawns for money, or help clean at someone else's house for money.

I'd love to hear input on what people think of our plan for school and our goals.

Frustrated...

2009-07-14T19:52:00.003-05:00

You ever get so frustrated with someone who's supposed to be a friend? Ever have a "friend" who's completely clueless as to how to behave, either in public or in the privacy of you or their own home? Or maybe a fellow mom who has absolutely NO clue as to what to do/how to do it with her kid and calls all the time about how overwhelmed/stressed/ready to scream/ready to spaz that she is with her 1 child, whereas you are just fine with your 4 - plus extra kids some days!
Can you see where this post is going? Yeah, I have a "friend" like that. A "friend" that's driving me nuts. A "friend" that calls when she needs things, or a ride, or a sitter, but never returns my calls to hang out, or go to the park together with our kids, or any little things I might think to invite her to do. She does gladly come over for dinner, as they are usually short of money/groceries. She is more than happy to leave her kid with us, as she says it's "a safe place where he's always taken care of" and "he's treated like one of your own".

Don't get me wrong, I love the kid dearly, and I do treat him as one of my own. I've had him for weekends and overnights since he was born, and even for a week or more at a time when they were both working. That's not the problem, the problem here is, it's almost like I'm jealous that she can act the way she does with no consequences. It's like I'm jealous of her lack of parenting skills and lack of parenting period. Being jealous is new to me. I mean I've been jealous before, who hasn't, but not over stupid things like this. I actually envy her ability to just drop her kid with someone and trust that he'll be fine and taken care of whether she's there or not. Her ability to sleep all day if she wants to, and not worry about whether or not her kid is wreaking havoc on his room when he's in there supposed to be taking a nap or sleeping, or her room while she's sleeping.

Is it wrong of me? Probably. Am I also glad that she trusts me that much with her kid? Hell yes! I take great pride in the fact that my kids have NEVER had to worry about being fed, clothed, or left with someone just because I wanted ME time. The only time any of my kids have ever ever spent the night away from me, much less a weekend, was when I was in the hospital having a baby. Or on the rare occasions when we had them stay at grandma's for a night for our anniversary. Even when I had to work 3rd shift, they still had dad home, and I called to check on them while at work.

Honestly, I'm not sure if I'm mad that she's lacking in parenting skills, or mad that she gets to do what she wants and I don't.

Hubby is getting frustrated because they don't keep him on a decent sleep schedule, or feed him decent food (they mostly do microwave stuff and junk food). With him not being on a regular sleep schedule, he tends to not want to sleep at bedtime, and tries to take naps at weird times. He also has started throwing tantrums when he doesn't get his way, which we also feel is due to the level of supervision (or lack thereof) at home, and the fact that he can basically do what he wants. We don't mind keeping him for weekends, but what we mind is him screaming and throwing fits at bedtime, and climbing out of the playpen and getting into things like he does at home.

Add to that the fact that Gabe is really not handling him being over well, and that Gabe acts out more and tantrums when he's over, and you can see what some of the problems are. I'm just so frustrated and annoyed right now, and am feeling so used. I just feel like all she wants me around for is to watch her kid and drive her places. I'm sure some of that is also due to me feeling quite overwhelmed as of late with Gabe and homeschooling him in particular. And all the frustration with not being able to find a place to move, and the economy and all that. But that's another post for another day.

Now, I need to go get some kids ready for bed and then finish picking up the house before I go to bed.

Another 2 Week Catch-Up Post

2009-06-30T19:37:00.002-05:00

Lets see, in the last 2 weeks, Mike went from 3rd back to 1st. He wasn't liking the hours, and wasn't getting enough sleep. Our room is on the first floor, where all the noise and action is all day long, and also doesn't have a door on it. Add to that 3 boys and a girl who all like to start stuff with each other allllllll day long, and fight and scream and run up and down the stairs, and you can easily see why he had such a hard time sleeping.
We've pretty much put moving on hold, as we can't really find anything that suits us well enough to go through the torture of packing, moving and unpacking. We looked at a few places, but a good majority were the "no pets" kind of places, and he's really unwilling to get rid of the dog if it comes down to it.
So for now I'm going to focus on making this place feel more like home to me. In the year we've been here, we've never completely unpacked all the boxes. I have 10 or so in my closet and 4 or 5 more in my room, not to mention the ones in the upstairs bathroom closet and in the kitchen. I want to focus on getting things the way I want them in the house and de-cluttering to the point where I can unload those last billion boxes. I want to focus on getting out credit straight so we can get a house of our own in a few years. I want the stability of not moving for a few years. And most of all, I want a home that my kids are familiar with and comfortable in, especially Gabe. He has such issues with moving, and still cries about the "big old house" on Park that we used to live in. We bought that house and lived there for 5 1/2 years. It was the only house he knew and he still talks about how he wants to go back "Home".

Dad and Colleen are coming down for the 4th, we're going to have a big cookout with Mom and Dave and Dad and Colleen, and Jaime and her kids, and us and Adrian. Brats, hotdogs, hamburgers, pork roast, chicken breasts, macaroni salad and a bunch of other stuff!
We're also gonna do sparklers and maybe a few fountains.
Not much else has been going on here, more of the same old same old. The kids are good, and so are we. Just going with the flow, and trying to make sure that the ends meet in the middle.

So Much For That Idea...

2009-06-13T20:47:00.002-05:00

Well, they came to deliver my washer and dryer on Tuesday, and it was going great until they went to measure the basement doorway to make sure that the dryer would fit without having to take the back panel off. Nope. Not gonna happen. And then the great news that even with the back panel off, it would still be 2 inches too big to fit. Crap.
So after taking several DEEP breaths, we talked about what we could do about it. We could either take it ALLLLLL the way apart, and reassemble it in the basement, hoping that they put it together correctly and that it would still work. Or we could have them take it back to the store, and I could come pick a different pair that WOULD fit. We opted for the latter.
And then when I was looking at the sets that they had, I decided that I only wanted to get a dryer, because the washer still works just fine.

So, they came Friday to drop it off, and got it to the kitchen, and guess what????? IT WAS TOO WIDE to fit!!! By like an inch. So, we took off the back panel, and unhooked some stuff, and Mike manhandled it all the way into the basement. I now have a dryer that works! And dries clothes!

Not much else going on here, except that I have Adrian and Austyn this weekend. 6 kids under 12 in the house, and its quieter now than with just my 4.

This Week So Far, And My New Washer and Dryer

2009-06-07T15:33:00.003-05:00

The dryer bit the dust again some time ago, so for the last few weeks I've been hanging things to dry. I figured with as bad as our credit was, we'd have to limp on through the rest of this year hanging things and hitting the laundromat at least every other week until February when we get taxes done. That's a LOT of laundry to hang.
Mike thought though that we might be able to get financing through the rent-a-center near us, so we stopped there on Friday evening after grocery shopping. They took our info and ran it through, and long story short, we are getting our new washer and dryer on Tuesday between 3-5pm. It's a Whirlpool Cabrio set, the only set they had there.

The kids are doing good, glad to be done with school. We'll still be doing at least an hour a day during the week, to make sure that they retain what we've gone over the rest of the year. Next year, I want to do a 4 day school week, that way we have Friday-Sunday off, or maybe Saturday-Monday depending on how things are going. We're still going through things that don't fit/aren't worn/too torn or stained. We have 2 full 30-gallon bags and another about 1/2 full.

Mike's doing good on 3rd shift so far, and is getting used to sleeping during the day. And I'm adjusting to not doing the "noisy" housework til after he wakes up. Nothing like forgetting and jolting someone out of a sound sleep by vacuuming! It's been working pretty well though, and I can usually manage now to get most of the housework done by noon or so, then we do lunch and go out for a bit so he can sleep a little longer.

Not much else going on here. Mostly same stuff different day.

Crazy And Chaotic, As Usual!

2009-06-03T14:52:00.004-05:00

Another 2 weeks or so between posts, but mostly because I've been busy packing things up and looking for rentals. Plus finishing up the end of our "homeschool" year. Officially public school here ends on June 10. Been cleaning and de-cluttering, getting rid of things we don't use, or haven't used in quite some time.
Today we got rid of a frying pan (visionware) that I've had since we got married(12yrs!) and NEVER used! Not even 1 time! Also got rid of an extra toaster and a bag full of tupperware, plastic bowls, lids that don't match anything, and old plastic plates. I also have 2 big 30-gallon trash bags FULL of outgrown/barely worn/stained/torn clothes to go through and get rid of.
We also cleaned the kitchen from top to bottom, swept, mopped, packed things in there, and partially cleaned and washed the fridge. I scrubbed cabinets, wiped walls and baseboards, and went through things bit by bit to see what we can pack (read live without!) and what needs to be left til we move.

This past couple weeks went pretty well. We had Adrian's birthday the 16th, Jane's 24th birthday was the 29th, the twins' was the 30th, Colleen's son Justin's 18th was also the 30th, and Daniel's was the 31st. Went up to Miwaukee the 30th to get Dad and Colleen, and took them back up the same day. Also saw aunt Rae, Pete, Aaron and Pete's son Bubba. They were moving and had to be out by Monday, so Mom and I and the kids went up Monday to help move, and Tuesday to help unpack. Kind of a crazy weekend, but not too bad. Going to call on some houses in Watertown tomorrow, and a few more here as well.

The kids are doing well, and Mike is too. Since he started working 3rd shift as a smokehouse operator, it's been a little chaotic at bedtime, but the kids are adjusting well, and we are making sure that he gets his sleep during the day by doing our quiet chores and things we need to finish for school while he sleeps, and going out for a bit near lunch time to get other things done. Seems to be working well so far, and he usually gets up around 2pm or so.

Been waiting to get my computer fixed, and until I do, I'm tethered to the ethernet cord in order to have internet. Windows 7 OS is nice, but doesn't have the drivers that I need for my wireless. So, my wonderful brother in law is going to re install Vista on it and fix my issues. Until then, I'll probably not be on too much, as chasing kids is WAY more important than updating the blog.

This Thing We Call Recession...

2009-05-20T15:19:00.004-05:00

As I was checking the blogs that I read daily, I came across a post that really struck home. It was a post about the recession and all the people that are affected. Usually I skip over posts like that, because I've been there first hand many times and don't really need to be reminded of how the economy is.
I've been a stat-at-home mom for most of the time that I've had kids. We agreed early on that if I wanted to work, I could, and if I didn't that was ok too. I've had a handful of jobs. I worked as a nurses aide when James was little. I worked as a temp, and then at McDonald's when Gabe was 2-4yrs on and off. We bought a house in 2002 when Gabe was about 1 1/2. The following summer, Mike quit his job of 9yrs for a better paying one. That lasted almost 2 months, just a few days shy of his probationary period being up, they canned him. Thankfully he qualified for unemployment.
It was a bad time for us, Caleb had just been diagnosed with autism the spring/summer before. We had just bought a house. If it hadn't been for the twins qualifying for SSI for their disabilities, we'd have gone under then for sure. He lost his job Aug 20, 2003. He didn't work again until Feb 12, 2006. 18 months. November of 2003 I started working full time at McD's to try and help us make bills. The kids' SSI wasn't enough to cover even most of the bills. It covered the mortgage, and sometimes the utilities and some of the groceries. It didn't cover gas, phone, clothes, or any of the other bills that were in collection. Unemployment was only bringing in about $180 a week. After gas and whatever little groceries, diapers, and odds and ends, there wasn't much of anything left. McD's was a paycheck of $200 every 2 weeks. It was a crappy job, but it was better than having nothing.
The day that he found out for sure that he would be working at Tyson, and when he would start, I QUIT! There was no way that we'd be able to cover day care for 3 special needs kids plus James for 3rd shift (both of us were going to be working 3rd), much less cover gas and everything we'd need for 2 jobs. Plus, his pay would be double mine, WEEKLY! The only really big problem now was that we had gotten so far behind on payments on all the bills that we had to catch up on them. We'd had to rob one bill to pay another quite a few times, trying to make sure that the mortgage was always paid first, and trying to make sure that it was paid in full. Juggling payments so that we didn't get the electric shut off, or the phone, or lose the van. We missed 1 payment on the mortgage, because of the van breaking down. So when we paid the next month, we included 1/2 the past due with it. And the next month, and the next. It became a vicious cycle, not being able to pay in full each month. And then the recession hit, which made it worse. The mortgage company wanted all the payment and all the late fees, NOW, instead of letting us work things out. In retrospect, it was a blessing in disguise. We really couldn't afford the house, nor did we have the money to fix it. The city was nailing us left and right for fines for not painting, needing a new roof, taxes not caught up, garage needing to be fixed. So we tried to give back (quit claim deed) the house. But they wouldn't let us. So we told them that we were moving out, come take the house (Oct-Nov of 2007), they waited till Jan of 2008 to file for foreclosure. It was final in May 2008. Our finances aren't a whole lot better, but they are getting there. The big thing that sucks is, even if they get better we still won't be able to get a house loan for at least 3 yrs from the final date of foreclosure.
I know this was pretty long winded, but all that aside, I want to tell anyone reading that it does get better. You will make it, just like we did. It may get tight, and you may have to go without some things, but it can be done. Make it an adventure, learn new things to do that don't cost money. Do local things and things that give back to the community. Most of all, be happy and content with who and what you have.
To read the post that got me thinking, go to http://badladies.blogspot.com/2009/05/no-money-changes-everything.html
I'm sure Catherine will be happy to hear from you!

The Weekend Hasn't Been Too Bad

2009-05-17T21:35:00.003-05:00

The weekend wasn't too bad. Friday ended well, with their SSI stimulus payments coming, so I was able to go get the part for the dryer. Mike got the dryer put together and working again. We also did some shopping at Walmart. Saturday we did the rest of the grocery shopping, went to Adrian's birthday party (2yrs old!), picked up a new lawn mower since the old one broke, and I took all the heavy winter blankets and quilts to the laundromat to get them done quicker.
In 2 hours I did 4 trash bags full of blankets and quilts (enough to fill 5 of the "50 lb" washers) and dried and folded them.
Pretty much same old same old. Gabe's been unusually whiny/pouty/clingy the last few days. It seems like he's getting his feelings hurt really easily, like something major is bugging him. Just can't put my finger on it. Tonight he was crying because, "dad told me sit down!", which normally he just laughs at and ignores. It seems like this time of year is a bad time for him in general. Spring and Fall, kind of like with Bi-Polar flare ups. At first I thought that the whole fall thing was because of school and his total aversion to it, but if that's the case, then it shouldn't bother him to the same extent because of being home.
I'm trying to figure a way of helping him to sleep easier (and me!), we've done benadryl for years, and really it seems that he builds up a resistance to it. It used to be that we only did it on school nights, and didn't on weekends or during breaks. But even then, by summer break, it wouldn't seem to be working at all. Now we only do it if he's had a particularly horrible nights sleep the night before and has had a really bad day on top of it.
Last night we tried melatonin on him. That was fun, NOT! I tried to crush it and put it in his juice, but he saw it and wouldn't drink the juice. So I reverted to sticking it waaaaay far back in his mouth so he HAD to swallow it. He was out in about a 1/2 hr, but I'm not sure if it was the melatonin or the fight he put up against sleep finally being lost. I put him back in the chair when he came in our room (3x last night, usually only 1-2x), but finally gave up when he came back about 4am and just let him sleep in our room. Then he slept in till 1030 this morning! Poor thing must have been really tired to sleep that late.
He's currently sitting/laying in the recliner 1/2 out (10pm here!), as I am typing this and sitting here while the boys settle in and get to bed. He's been all out of sorts today and I'm wondering if it's related to the melatonin from last night. Another thing to look up tonight.
Thats all for now, need to play musical chairs and check on the other kids.

Long Week...

2009-05-15T22:59:00.003-05:00

I just don't know some days how to keep going. Things haven't been the best in the last few months, but then again, compared to last year they are not near as bad as they were. How do those of you with more than one ASD kids do it? Caleb was dx'd PDD-NOS at 2y9m, and ADHD at 5y7m. Gabe was 5y7m when he was dx'd PDD-NOS, and 6y1m when dx'd Mild MR and a host of other things. Some days are so bad meltdown wise that I wish I didn't even get out of bed. Caleb is a screamer, and since starting school has learned some colorful vocab that he likes to share with anyone that ticks him off. Gabe repeats everything and I do mean EVERY thing that he hears others say. Both are hitters, punchers, hair-pullers. Caleb used to be a headbanger, and Gabe still is when upset.

It's hard enough with one kid doing this all the time, but when they both get going, I may as well pull my own hair out and go bang my own head against a wall. I've run the gamut of responses from other people, the whole "he just needs a good a** warming" being at the top of most peoples lists as to how to fix the problems.

The biggest thing we fight about right now is Gabe and his not sleeping. He is up most nights till 1130 or later, and always -- no matter what time he goes to sleep -- is awake and climbing into our bed by 3-4 am. I've done everything I know to get him into his own bed, to no avail. He starts out the night in his bed (I sit with the boys till they fall asleep or else no one gets to sleep), usually wakes up about midnight or so, and comes down and sits with me while I check email, falls asleep in the recliner. Then wakes again about 3 am, and comes in by us. Hubby leaves for work about 430 am or so, and Gabe sleeps thru till about 830-9 am (thank god for homeschooling, because in public school he had to be up by 6 to get there in time which really wasnt a good thing for him if he had a bad night!). If he has to get woken up earlier than that he is VERY grouchy and not happy for the rest of the day. He has always slept like that though, and naps when he was a baby were horrible. 20-30 minute naps and he woke whenever put down.

Caleb is not the best sleeper either, but he is waaaaayyyyy farther than Gabe, he has a hard time falling asleep, but once asleep he is down for the count till at least 6-7am(assuming that he's asleep by 1030 or so). As I'm typing this, Caleb is settling in bed, the other kids (besides Gabe) are sleeping, and Gabe is crying because he doesn't want to sleep in his bed. I know that part of the problem is that Gabe isn't functioning at *age* level, and doesn't understand some of the things expected of him. But that doesn't make it any easier.

I keep wondering what his future will hold and if I'll be able to handle either one of them when they get older. Gabe is the same size as Caleb even though they are 2 yrs apart, and when angry (or scared) is very strong. He's already started being aggressive (with the other kids and sometimes me) when he feels threatened. It just scares me to think of what might happen when he's older.
He's never been close to his dad, even when I was working and dad was stay at home. Neither was Caleb. But now, he always says for me to make dad go to work, and asks why dad doesn't like him or hurts his feelings or whatever the flavor of the day is. I keep telling him that dad does like him, but he's tired after a long day of work and doesn't want to be yelled at (Gabe has a naturally LOUD voice, almost yelling alllllll the time). He has been telling dad "you dont make the rules, mom does" and "you go away" and of course the all time favorite "you hate me". When he was in public school, he learned the phrase "go to jail", so he also likes to tell dad "you're mean, go to jail" and "I'll call the cops on you". I've corrected him that yes dad does make rules, no dad doesn't hate you, it's not nice to say, etc. But nothing seems to change what he says/thinks about dad. Dad doesn't go out of his way to push his authority on Gabe (at least not as of late), he leaves that to me.

I just don't know sometimes though, he's done so much better since he's been out of public school, but I'm not sure that the trade off is worth it at this point. I'm glad that he's happier at home, and that he's learning so much better here than he was there, but sometimes I wonder if I made the right choice in bringing him home.

Homeschooling is going well, we are getting better with letters and numbers. Now just figuring out how to teach him to read! That's a challenge, because while we are finally past the rejection of all things school related (due to some major issues with things at the public school). he is still very resistant to actively learning anything.

I think the thing that burned my a** the most about his school placement was that they told me flat out that it wasn't about catching him up to grade level, it was about putting him with kids his age.
Some days I wonder what it would be like to have kids without all the issues, and be able to go out and enjoy myself without calling every 1/2 hr while gone to make sure that everyone is ok and not killing each other. At this point, IF I could find a good decent placement for Gabe, I think I might just jump at it. Even though it would be hard for both of us to adjust, and he would probably hate me for it for a while. It hurts to say it but sometimes it just doesn't seem worth it to keep working so hard and pushing to get him to learn. I hate listening to him cry and say that he hates school, but I also hate having to force him to sit and do work with me. At least at school, THEY have to do that, it's not me having to go over and over and over the same things day after day and wonder what's going to stick.

Anyone else feeling this way? I want him to learn, but does it HAVE to be a constant battle?

This Week So Far...

2009-05-12T22:21:00.004-05:00

Things have been steady around here for the last couple days. Still tackling laundry, doing school, and keeping (or trying to!) the house straight. This will be the first set of birthdays that my baby sis has missed since the kids were born. Weird that I just now thought of that today.
One good thing today, Mike finally got his unemployment check for last month when he was off for that week. It came just in time, we are down to our last couple of rolls of TP, lol. Hoping that the Soc Sec Stimulus payments come soon, that way we can do something for the kids' birthdays and not have to wait till the end of the month.
In the last 2 days, I've washed 9 loads of laundry, and hung 7, still have 1 going in the washer, and 1 in the dryer waiting to get hung.

I just started following a new blog - http://www.kayleighannefreeman.blogspot.com/
and got some bad news when I checked it today. Little Kayleigh has earned her angel wings after a courageous fight for her short life. She would have been a year old next month. So sad, please visit her site and let her family know that we are remembering her.
Not much else to post, just life as usual around here. Oh, except for one thing, Gabe had his 6mo checkup at the dentist. 2 loose teeth, 1 loose cap/tooth, and NO More Spacer!! No cavities either!

Packing, Soc Sec Stimulus and Birthdays....

2009-05-10T19:40:00.003-05:00

Been keeping busy this weekend. Rearranged the front room because we got Grandma's old recliners (she got new ones!), and we needed to make room for them. We've been planning on getting rid of the couches before the move, so this was the perfect opportunity. They're sitting in the garage now, waiting. Took down the bookshelf that has been slowly falling apart. Boxed a lot of books and knick-nacks that we won't be needing before the move.
I've been going thru the kids' clothes and mine to get rid of things that don't fit or are ripped up. If things are decent enough I'll put them in a rummage sale before we move. Otherwise they will be trashed and whatever doesn't sell will go to goodwill.
We're getting rid of a bunch of games that the kids no longer play with, and some movies that we never watch anymore. Little things everyday to get things moving in the right direction before the move so that we're not trying to run around like crazy moving everything in just 1 or 2 days. The last time we moved, we took 3 days, and on the 4th day we cleaned things up at the old place, making sure that we had it locked up and all that. This time I want to be more prepared than that.
Still waiting to hear from the landlord on the new place, I did talk to him Wednesday, and he told me he was looking into some options and that he had another meeting on Friday. So hopefully he calls us on Monday or Tuesday.

On another note, I'm really happy that they are doing this stimulus thing for the people on SSI and Social Security. I know that it's going to help a lot of people, including us. Some people have already gotten theirs, and the rest will be staggered throughout the month of May.

And, we have a bunch of birthdays this month! Adrian will be 2 on the 16th, his mom will be 24 on the 29th, Caleb and Caitlin will be 10 on the 30th, and my nephew Daniel will be 9 on the 31st! That's a LOT of cake! Usually Jaime makes cakes and such for the birthdays, but she's got a lot going on right now, with some personal issues at home. So we'll see about that, maybe we'll just wait till the next weekend after their birthday to do something like we did last year.
Guess that's all for now, need to go chase kids and give baths and all that jazz.

Is It Really Wednesday Already??

2009-05-06T18:31:00.003-05:00

It's been raining on and off all day, making for a great amount of cabin fever. Not hard rain, at least not til about 5ish, mostly just sprinkles. But just as we sat down to dinner, the sky opened up with a huge deluge!
Gabe wrote his name all by himself without any help or prompting from me today! Talk about a big step from the "I hate school" kid, and hopefully a good start for him to actually start writing words soon.
The other kids had a good day, and Caleb's pumpkin plant has 3 leaves now. It's grown probably another 1/2 inch or so since we planted it this weekend.
Got a call from Adrian's mom, freaking out, because he fell down the stairs(carpeted thankfully) and landed on a toy truck. So now he has his first black eye! And then when they went grocery shopping today, he got his arm 1/2 stuck in part of the cart and now has a nice long scratch down the side of it. Go figure that he gets all this the week before his birthday party! I can't believe that he's gonna be 2 already, seems like just the other day that he came home from the hospital.
Hoping to get him something little for his birthday and maybe have my sis make him a little cake.
Not much else going on here, just trying to stay caught up with Mount Laundry and keep hanging clothes to dry.

Trying To Catch Up!

2009-05-05T22:56:00.004-05:00

Things have been busy around here still. The weather has been good and bad, warm and cold, and is wreaking havoc on Caleb's asthma. Gabe has been having some rough nights and some days, with frequent waking and accidents again. It's more of the one step forward two steps back kind of dance. All in all we are all doing fairly well, not overly sick or anything.
The dryer is still broken, so we are still hanging clothes. We are still waiting on news about our apps for the house we looked at. Mike is back to work full time and is even getting some Saturday work. We did finally get the van window replaced, to the tune of $100. But that still beats paying the $500 deductible.
School is hit or miss some days as far as getting actual written work done. But we always manage to get something read or looked up on the computer, and we are picking 1 thing a day that they want to learn more about and at least getting that accomplished. It takes some of the pressure off, because with it getting nicer out, they want to go to the park and be outside more. It gives us a chance to learn about things that we see or hear outside, or about the plants that we see coming up. We currently have our own plants that the kids are helping with as part of their schooling. That's another thing that is so awesome as of late with how the kids are learning.
Caleb found a pumpkin seed in Nintendo's (the bird!) dish. Neither Mike or I thought that it would grow, but we told him if he wanted to try and plant it he could. Imagine our surprise when a few days later it was already growing and had 2 leaves!! It is now 2 weeks later and the plant is like 2-3 inches tall and has been transplanted outside to its own box. He waters it every other day, and checks it daily to make sure that no critters got to it.
The younger 3 also each got a cactus when we went to Lowe's, they are called "Moon Cactus" and they only get about 5-6 inches tall, which makes them quite manageable. They came in very small pots, and we will be transplanting them soon. The plants are proving very useful in teaching Gabe especially how plants grow and how much water, sun, and nutrients they need. Gabe's learning how often the cacti need to be watered, and when to move them, how not to touch them and all that.
I've been trying to pack things that we aren't using and get rid of things that are too small or won't fit anyone within the next year or so. Just generally de-cluttering and de-junking the house. It's been kind of crazy most days, which makes it that much harder to get on the computer and post.
Hope to post more, not guaranteeing anything though!

Finally Getting Better!

2009-04-26T14:57:00.003-05:00

Well the week didn't kill me. He had his meeting at work with the managers on Tuesday, and was informed on Thursday(a week after being walked out) that he had his job back. Friday we went and looked at a house in Hanover, rent to own, awesome house. It's a 3br 2 ba, ranch style house with an attached 1 car garage. And we go Monday to fill out apps for it. A good friend of ours is willing to co-sign on the loan, and will be living with us in the furnished part of the basement.
Adrian went home to his parents on the 24th, after 12 days of being here. They've decided to get back together, and are working on their problems together. He's doing good and will be 2 in a couple of weeks.
The other kids are doing well, same stuff different day. I'm really hoping that we get this place and can move their this summer. It's a really quiet neighborhood, small town and only 20 minutes outside of the city we live in now.
Hopefully more on that later this week.

Crap Just Keeps Hitting The Fan...

2009-04-14T21:59:00.002-05:00

Things have to get better instead of worse right? I sure hope so, because this last week almost killed me. Mike got up late last Saturday (he was supposed to work), and called in. Apparently he called in 3 whole minutes AFTER he was supposed to be there. Which sucks, because it put him over on points for work. Which means that he was effectively fired on Thursday, when the paper work caught up. It also means no holiday pay for Good Friday. And we won't find out until later this week if the other manager was able to get him back in to work.
Then, on this Saturday, my rear driver's side window was smashed out by some punks running through the neighborhood. The cops didn't catch anyone, and our deductible is $500. Which of course we don't have since again, no job. A used window will cost about $75, but the salvage yard doesn't have any for my van. Go Figure!
This totally sucks! Not that I mind having some help from Mike, but he drives me nuts after a while. He's been home since about 2pm on Thursday. It's only Tuesday and I already need a break! On top of all that, the heating element on the dryer went out, and of course no money for that either. So I'm (again) hanging clothes to dry. All this crap has to hit at the same time, because if it hit one at a time, I'd be better able to handle it.
It's been chaos around here, getting the plants ready for the garden, doing school and keeping up the house. The kids are doing good, Gabe gives me less of a hassle on school than he used to, as long as Mike isn't getting on him about it. Caleb is doing really well with this math game i got him for the DS. It goes from 1st grade all the way through 5th, and he can do almost everything on it! Caitlin has been doing more and more reading without even realizing it. They've all been using the magnetic letters that I have up on the door. James is working hard on 4th grade work (3rd in some areas), and working hard on doing things correctly the first time so he doesn't have to re-do them later.
Adrian is doing great, talking more and more. It really irks Gabe when he repeats whatever he is saying. His favorite is to say mom over and over like Gabe does, he knows how much it bothers him and you can see a grin on his face when he does it. Little stinker! He also sleeps all the way through the night here (at home he wakes a lot), and is taking regular naps. I still can't believe the difference between him and Gabe at this age. It's sad in a way because Gabe at this age is so firmly in my mind still.
Gabe is also getting more jealous of Adrian. When he is here, Gabe has WAY more accidents, and even refuses to go potty. He frequently tries to push Adrian away from me, and likes to get his attention and put his arms around me and say "MY MOMMY" to him.

Gotta go for now, Gabe is still awake and I need to check the other kids.

Asthma, Allergies and Potty Habits

2009-04-07T20:33:00.003-05:00

The last couple weeks have gone pretty fast. We're trying some new things with learning words and how to spell them with some magnetic letters on the front (metal) door. Caleb and Caitlin especially have been trying different combinations of letters to see how things are (and not!) spelled. Gabe is starting to get interested as well, and has told me what a LOT of those letters say and the sounds they make.
He has also started noticing the letters and numbers on his clothing. He asks what size if he's not sure and has asked for his favorite sweatshirt (the one with the 0 and the 7 on it) several times this past week. He knows all his colors and is very particular as to what he will wear. He's also still(!) wearing underwear all day and has had very few accidents. Still in pullups at night, and when he's not feeling well (like yesterday afternoon).
Caleb's asthma and reactive airway have been acting up again, I think mainly because of the change in weather and the fact that he's been spending so much more time outside. He's been wheezy a few times, and has even had a few accidents at night from getting so tired out from not breathing as good. So we are upping the nebulizer treatments for a while to help him even out.
He is now on Flovent and Proventil (inhalers), and Albuterol and Pulmicort (nebs), and Concerta and Methylin, with benadryl at night for his allergies and to help him sleep.

He and Gabe are doing well in the potty area, very few accidents and just wearing pullups for bed! Lots more stuff going on here, but have been so busy that I haven't had time to take a breath, much less post.
The rest of this week is going to be interesting, I have Adrian until his dad gets him on Saturday, and Austyn comes tomorrow to stay til Friday night! Plus of course my 4. Just slight chaos.

A Very Busy 2 Weeks

2009-04-01T19:40:00.003-05:00

There's been a lot going on in the last couple of weeks. We went as a family and saw dad, staying overnight at a hotel in Milwaukee. It was a good visit, with dad getting to see all of the kids, and the kids and Mike getting to see him again for the first time in several years. We had an outrageously priced dinner, and got to relax and hang out for a while. That was also the weekend of our anniversary.
Then last weekend, we had our anniversary party, and dad and Colleen came down for it. There were about a dozen or so people, all family, there at the party. Dad and Colleen got to see Jaime and meet her kids for the first time, and see the rest of the family. The trip back up to drop them off was interesting, we had a bit of snow and freezing rain to navigate through. I only went like 40-45 all the way up and back on the highway. Got to meet both of Colleen's sons when I dropped them off.
Gabe has now mastered all but 4 letters, and knows with total certainty all numbers to 10, and is learning 11-20 now!!!! He also is wearing underwear more reliably during the day, and we have noticed can stay dry upwards of 8 hours at a time (when he pays attention!). He's had 3 days in the last 2 weeks where he has NOT come into our bed during the late night/early morning hours! Lots of good news there, and things are going well as far as school and sleeping and potty training.

All in all it's been a very long 2 weeks, and feels more like 2 months. Hoping to keep caught up on here in the future. I'd like to, at minimum, start posting once a week or more. Ideally, I'd like to post every day or every other day. We'll see though how it goes. Teaching Gabe is hard work, and keeps me busy!

Differences

2009-03-15T22:19:00.004-05:00

As I watch Adrian grow, it's bittersweet for me. He's already doing so many things that Gabe never did at that age. He's social, happy and verbal. Gabe never was at that age. He would cry, scream and cling to me. His version of verbal was whining and grunting, and the occasional half word. He was a late sitter, a late crawler, and a late walker. He didn't talk for the longest time, and when he did start, he was terribly hard to understand. Even now, he is understandable mainly to people who know him. Don't get me wrong, he's come a long way and I wouldn't trade him for anything. I guess I'm just wondering what I missed out on with having a "normal" child.
I know that "normal" is relative. James is "normal" for the most part, but has difficulty with reading and with controlling his temper, which we believe may be related to lead poisoning when he was little. Caleb has autism like Gabe, and ADHD. Caitlin has motor and speech delays and is very small for her age. She also has delays in bone growth. Normal is one thing we strive for in the world, what all kids want to be. My kids will probably never be the picture of normal. But we are trying to teach them that normal is a subjective thing, and that it doesn't matter if they aren't exactly the same as every other kid they ever meet.
That doesn't mean it's any easier when they ask why Gabe has so many problems, and why he isn't anything like them. James understands better than the rest, that Gabe may never leave home. We hope he will be able to, but we are prepared for the eventuality that he might not ever live on his own. I don't mind, and I've explained to James that Gabe's brain doesn't work the same as his. He accepts it, and every once in a while, we talk about it and I ask if he has any questions. He knows it's not fair, and he knows that Gabe is starting to understand that people don't always want to play with him, that some are making fun of him. James has tried to shield him from some of it, but sometimes it's hard. Especially when the kids are making fun of him for trying to protect Gabe.

I try sorting things out in my head, but that just depresses me more. When I write here, I can erase and re-write as many times as I need to, to make it make more sense. I can vent here, without hurting people's feelings, and I can get my feelings out without having to yell or scream or throw things. I can take a break from the "real" world and just relax.
I don't even know how I get to where I'm going when I'm writing. I just let the words fly off my fingers and onto the screen. Usually not reading or proofing till I'm done. Then I go thru and spell check and make things make more sense if I can, or just leaving it if I can't.
Somehow this post went from being about the difference in development between Gabe and Adrian, to being about how I write and how things make me feel. Reading this makes me realize just why Mike thinks I have ADHD. Enough for now, need sleep I think, to make sense of things in the morning.

More Random

2009-03-12T12:19:00.004-05:00

I've been trying to figure out what to post, and been sitting here for way too long without any ideas. I could post more about how the kids are doing, or what we're doing in school. I could post about Gabe's ever growing obsession for Lego Star Wars, or his slowly diminishing hatred for anything school related. He did actually do all his work today without any screaming, kicking or throwing a fit. And he now knows most of his letters. I could also post about how my baby will be 8 years old tomorrow. But when I write it I end up deleting because it doesn't come out right. Heck, I could even post about a certain 11yo boys complete and total lack of respect for anything I say. And how he goes out of his way to start trouble with Gabe and the other kids on an almost hourly basis. But I figured that was a post better left for a day when I wasn't already ticked off about the way he was behaving.

Really, there is sooooo much that I could write about, but then I start thinking about whether it's too personal to share with perfect strangers, or with certain other people that may or may not eventually find their way here and read it. I mean after all, how many people do I really need to share my personal issues with before it gets to be old news?

Mike's been having health problems on and off since the beginning of February, and has another Dr appointment tomorrow. Hopefully that is good news instead of bad. Gabe will be 8 tomorrow, and my friend Missy is having her baby boy tomorrow as well. Plus dad has his appointment tomorrow with Social Security.

On a more personal front, I've been doing bible studies by myself, not through a church or anything. I like it better that way, and am working on little ways of changing my life to get it to the way I should be living. The problem with that is that certain family members (on his side) don't think that's what I should be doing. They want me studying with people from their "church" and going to their "church" and they believe that what they teach is the only right thing. So I'm having a difficult time coping with all the pressure and the well meaning comments that I really should start coming back to their "truth". In fact, since Saturday I've had people at my house 3 times trying to get me to commit to coming back and get me into conversations about their beliefs. I love his family, and I like the people that are trying to "help" me, but when I'm ready, I'll make my own decisions about what to believe or not believe. I'm sure that in their minds, they are trying to do what they think is best, but honestly, all I feel is them telling me that what I'm doing is wrong. It's not that I don't appreciate the efforts that they put into things, but I don't believe that their way is the only way, that they have the only "true" worship.

Enough of that for now, I have kids to chase and a house to clean, and a LOT of thinking to do.

2009-03-10T10:21:00.002-05:00

My visit with my dad went well, just needed some time to digest it all and figure out what and how to write. I learned quite a few things that I didn't know before. Like, for starters, my dad is Catholic, which I did not know, nor did mom. You'd think that kind of thing would come up when you're thinking of getting married, but not with those two.
My grandma (dad's mom) passed away about 2 yrs ago, dementia and a heart attack. Dad's longtime girlfriend that I first met when I got back in contact with him 11yrs ago passed away about 3 yrs ago, cancer and brain tumors.
It was a weird meeting, seeing him again was almost like never having lost contact. He's still the same guy I missed growing up, but different at the same time. He's been fighting for disability since 2004, and has another appointment this Friday on Gabe's birthday. His new wife, Colleen, has 2 sons, 16 and 17. They live with her and dad. They have a cat, named Booger.
When he came out the door, my heart was racing. I was thinking what if he doesn't like the kids, what if we don't get along, if this meeting didn't go well. What if he didn't want to see us again after this meeting, what if I got the kids' and my hopes up for nothing, and he's going to drop out of our lives again.
But it went well. We talked, shared and had lunch together. We wandered through the mall for a bit, catching up on what all had gone on in the past 5-6 years, who was born, who died, who moved. We even made plans for me and the kids and maybe even Mike to come back up around the first of the month. And this time maybe I'll remember the photo album.

My Thoughts, Random.

2009-03-09T12:24:00.004-05:00

I sat up thinking last night, about how things will be for Gabe as he gets older. And about the other kids. Will they grow up and be happy, or resentful of him. Will they understand that he's different, but that it shouldn't stop them from being around him or being happy with him.
I also worry about Mike. He's convinced that if Gabe is just disciplined more then he'll be fine and cooperate with whatever it is that he wants him to do. He just doesn't accept that Gabe is not the same as the other kids. And it's not just the whole autism thing. It's also the cognitive aspect of it. He is learning, at a slower pace, but learning none the less. He's come a long way as far as his behavior as well, but not far enough for Mike. He wants him to act his age, his chronological age, not mental age. Gabe can't do that.
The other kids resent him a lot of days, I can see it when they look at him. Kids show their feelings rather well whether they want to or not. Yes, I am more permissive with him, but I'm also trying to keep peace with 3 other kids, sometimes 4, and run a house, do school, and laundry and everything else. Just because he wants his way doesn't make him a brat. All kids want their own way, all kids have times where they throw a fit cause they didn't get something they wanted. Not just him. I'm sick of having to justify everything I do with him. I'm sick of being told it's not fair, cause dammit life isn't fair. It's not fair that I have 2 boys with autism and related challenges, and a pre-teen that tries to run the world and a drama queen. And a husband who doesn't support the way I deal with the kids. I'm tired of hearing how if HE were in charge of Gabe, Gabe would learn to behave, and that his misbehavior is all my fault.
I'm really having a hard time sticking to my guns with the whole homeschooling thing. I'm tired of the smart mouthed comments, tired of fighting, tired of all of it. I know the best place for Gabe is at home, but the easiest place is at school. I just don't know how I can keep doing this.
It's not fair that I can't have one day that everyone is on the ball and all the school and house work get done. Or that bedrooms don't stay picked up unless I stand over them and make them do it.
I love my kids, but some days I have a really hard time liking them. And that makes me feel like a horrible mom. And I love having Adrian, but I'm tired of getting crap from people about it. I'm getting told, make his mom take care of him, why do you do it without getting paid, he's not your problem, not your child and the list goes on and on. Why can't people stay out of it? Why do I need to justify my actions to others who have no business meddling in the first place?

I never said I was perfect but don't I deserve a little respect? A little positive comment once in a while would be great. I'm getting all this negative from the kids and hubby and even strangers. I mean, I could understand if I was asking people for their input on it, but I'm not.

I didn't want to turn this into a pity party or a rant about people's crappy attitudes. It's not meant to be a poor me post. Just trying to get some things off my mind. I just don't know how to keep doing this anymore. I'm tired, so tired.

My Dad

2009-03-05T17:55:00.004-06:00

My dad and I haven't been in contact for at least the last 5 yrs. Right about the time my youngest nephew was born was the last time I saw him. So imagine my surprise when I answered the phone yesterday to hear his voice. I didn't know who it was that first few seconds, and then something clicked and I just knew who it was. He asked if I was curious to know how he found me again, and I said No, not really, because I'd done the same thing 11 yrs ago to find him. I went online and used one of the people search websites. He cheated and did it the easy way, white pages on Yahoo. Punk. Anyway, mom and dad divorced when I was 7 I think. Then, we only saw him once in a great while, until we moved from Milwaukee in 1988. And never saw him again until February 1998. Ten years is a long time, a lifetime even. In that ten years, I had grown up, graduated, dated, married and had a child. All those things that he missed.
My kids know of him, and have seen him a handful of times, the last time being 5 yrs ago. Since then, Mike's changed jobs, I've quit mine, Gabe was diagnosed. My grandmother died, Mike's grandfather died, Aunt Rose died. So many things that he will never experience with us. So many things that I've missed with my dad.
So this weekend, I'm going to see him. For the first time again, in 5 yrs. And his new wife, who he married last week on his 53rd birthday.
Wish me luck and strength when I see him.

More Random Thoughts and Constant Interruptions

2009-03-04T10:22:00.003-06:00

So many special people, so little duct tape! It's been a long couple of days, and the kids are plotting against me I'm sure, and my dryer chose yesterday as the day to add to the anarchy. So now I'm hanging clothes to dry in the basement, in between bouts of pulling screaming writhing hellions off of each other. Adrian's been biting, and banging his head on the floor when he doesn't get his way. And screaming, can't forget the screaming. Caleb and James have been non-stop hitting and kicking each other every time I turn around. Caitlin's been getting mouthy and rolling her eyes at me and anyone else that makes her mad (or tries to get her to do anything!). Gabe's been wound up like and 8 day clock, and getting annoyed because Adrian has decided to copy everything he says and does.
It's taken me forever to get just this much done, and as I type, I just settled them with a movie (teenage mutant ninja turtles the movie), and I have Gabe on the couch nursing a scratch to the forehead (from James, with love or something). He and James got into a nice little knock down drag out over a small metal spatula, and he got the business end when James tried to get away. Go figure. Thankfully it's just a scratch, and didn't break the skin, cause then all hell would break loose when he figured out he was bleeding.
It's been getting warmer, and the days are longer, which I'm sure is contributing to the cabin fever going on. Tomorrow the high is supposed to be in the 50's, and today the 40's, spring is just around the corner.

In other news, I found out more lovely information about this neighborhood. We apparently have crack dealers across the street! And both families living there got busted, between them they have like 11 kids or something. But get this, they still have all the kids! Even after the drug bust! And there are still cars coming and going at all hours of the day. It's just ridiculous that they get busted and still have this going on. Makes me even more sure that we're moving as soon as our lease is up. I don't need the kids learning that crap.
Mike's talking about moving out of town, we had talked at first of moving closer to his work, but he doesn't want to stay working there. He's looking into a welding course, it's 2 yrs, and then he wants to move to Milwaukee. Works for me, because I have family up there. Lots more for the kids to do too. The only downside is the crime rate is as high if not higher.

Wow Made It To 50 Posts!

2009-02-27T08:12:00.001-06:00

Just realized this morning that last nights post brought me to 50 posts! A real milestone for me. Surprising though, cause it doesn't feel like I've done that many posts.

Rambling thoughts and what ifs...

2009-02-26T20:49:00.004-06:00

I figured by now, I'd have figured out the whole blog thing. I have blogs I read on a regular basis, like daily or weekly. I regularly comment on some. I even have a bunch that I regularly read on my blog page.
I have 1 person that follows my blog. And 1 or 2 that have actually commented on it. Not that I really mind so much, because it's more for me that I write, not others. Hubby doesn't read it, nor does any of my family, or friends, because I've chosen not to tell very many people that I blog. Hubby knows, but has so far not chosen to read my blog. Mostly because he knows how I am about things like that. Here's a little known fact: I've had poems published in a couple of anthologies. Used to write all the time. Wrote a good 2 or 3 dozen poems over the course of 2-3yrs. Stopped writing after I met hubby and got married. Just seemed at the time like there wasn't anything else to write about. I really thought about writing again, but can't seem to get back in the groove of things. It just seems like most of what I wrote before just flowed from my fingers to the paper. Now it actually takes work just to write out a few sentences, and even then they don't seem to flow or even make sense some days.
Like a colossal writers block. And it sucks. I used to love writing, it was how I spent most of my teen years. I thought writing was something special that I was good at. And then came the kids, and there was no time to write. No time to think. To dream. To anything.
I even thought for a time that I might write a book. I mean heck, if Jenny McCarthy can multi-task, so can I right? Apparently not. Can't seem to string a sentence together that doesn't make me feel like my IQ might drop 30 points just to read it.
I want to write about how having 2 boys with autism feels. How it feels to have other kids that need my attention. How my day never ends. How terrified I am that my youngest may never live on his own. But when I try, it just seems to come out sounding fake and hollow. Dull and unimaginative. Boring.
My little triumphs are nothing to the real world. Most people wouldn't be able to understand where I'm coming from, why little things excite me. Why an almost 8yo using the potty is awesome. I just can't find the words to describe what I'm seeing, feeling, and dealing with at any given time. I just don't know how to do it. I want to tell my kids' story, and let other people know that it's not all sunshine and roses. It's hard work. It makes me cry or want to most days. The hardest is seeing my son look at something that kids way younger than him are doing, and still not being able to make sense of it. Seeing other kids hurt his feelings because they don't understand why he is the way he is.
Sometimes I blame myself. If I hadn't been in denial, had gotten him evaluated earlier. If I hadn't allowed him to do any number of things, maybe things would be different. Maybe it's bad genetics, bad parenting, bad vaccines. The what ifs drive me nuts.
The hardest day was when they diagnosed him as mentally retarded. Not when they said autism. Autism I can deal with. But brain damage, mental retardation, that I'm not sure how to deal with. What to do, how to do it. I just can't wrap my mind around it. It hurts just to think of it. It makes me wonder what caused it. Was it when he fell off the bed? Or fell at the park? Or was it before that? When he had his surgery at 4 months? Thats the part that kills me inside. The whole what caused it, was it something I did or didn't do? Could I have prevented it?
I guess that's where I stand now. Getting past the what ifs and moving on to the what nows. That's all for now. I'm sure this will make more sense in the morning, or maybe never.

Wednesday, but feels like Monday...

2009-02-25T16:05:00.002-06:00

Hubby went back to work today. That at least went well. Had my eye appointment yesterday, which did not go so well. My eyes are ok, need a different script for my glasses, that part was fine. He dilated my eyes, and told me that they should be back to normal in about 2 hours.
Yeah. Right. Not.
More like 12 hours at least. Got them dilated at 3:30, and by 11pm, they were still huge! I looked like I'd done some heavy duty stuff, if you know what I mean lol. Went to bed with a ginormous migraine, and woke up being able to see, but with the same headache. Not cool.
Of course, Wednesdays are guitar lesson days, and Adrian's mom also wanted to hang out. No problem, had another friend pick her up, and bring her down to meet me where the boys get their lessons. Things were busy, but it wasn't too bad. Took her and Adrian home with me, and hung out here for a while. Things are going well, Adrian's taking a nap now, and we're gonna keep him for a couple days (or more lol). I still have the headache from yesterday, but it's not quite as bad. Kids are being quiet, Hub's is playing on the net, and I'm thankfully able to post on here, as my net has been up and down since the crash.
I think I have the problem fixed though, downloaded some drivers and reset my modem, and it's been working for the last couple days just fine. Weather here is nice right now, it's about 40 degrees, and all the snow is melting into huge puddles that the kids of course cannot avoid. It even tried to rain for a few minutes this morning.
Have to wait a week for my glasses, but I will also have a back up pair, since we all know I can't help losing/mangling/destroying a pair. Not too bad, I got a full exam, and new bows and lenses for the original pair, plus my new frames and lenses for about $200. Thankfully I only have to do that every 2 years.
Hope everyone else is doing well, and the weather is fine other places too.

C.diff is Negative!

2009-02-23T15:25:00.004-06:00

So now we just need the Health Dept, and the Dr's office to both fax a note to work saying that he can go back to work! Unfortunately, the health dept lady is "away from my desk at the moment", and has been all day. The Dr's office is faxing their note, and faxing the health dept as we speak, to get them to fax the note we need.
All it means is that he'll be home tomorrow too, and go back on Wednesday, exactly 2 wks after he got called off work. It also means that he'll get a 3 day paycheck, which will cover his gas back and forth to work and a few groceries. It's great news, and I've been praying that it would hurry up and be done.
Thank you to all who have been praying for us, and have kept us in their thoughts. It's meant a lot to us.
I'm still reloading my computer, and have lost some of my bookmarks forever, but am slowly getting things set back up the way I had them before. The kids are all well, and I'm getting back to normal, just glad things have turned out for him to go back to work. With my stomach in knots the way it's been, I've been living on coffee, and lots of Monster. Hopefully once he is back to work, my stomach will be back to normal.
Gotta go for now, need to finish loading some more things into my bookmarks, and finish loading my music. Got bored yesterday so I took a break from getting it done.

One Of THOSE Days

2009-02-22T14:21:00.002-06:00

Well the good news is that Mikes clear of the Giardia and the Crypto. The bad news is that they weren't done with the test for Cdiff by the end of the day, because of how busy the lab was. So we'll here about that one on Monday.
More crappy news. My computer crashed, and I lost everything I had saved. All my pics, all my music. The only blogs I have still are the ones I saved on here. So I'm in the process of figuring out who all I did read daily, besides the ones on here, and re-saving them. Again. And of course re-loading all my music. And hoping I didn't delete the pics off my SD card yet. Not holding out much hope for that though.
Hoping his test for Cdiff comes back negative, then he can go back to work Tuesday or Wednesday at the latest. Today's his last day on the antibiotics too. I'm sure the kids are hoping he'll go back soon too. He's driving us all nuts, and we're happy to drive him nuts as well.
My sis came out this way from Missouri for the weekend. Got here Friday evening, and left this afternoon. We did dinner together Friday night, and got to hang out yesterday for most of the day as well. Wish I'd thought to take pics of the kids while they were here. Got to catch up on all the happenings where she is and got to tall her about all the things going on here in the last 5 mos since she's been gone. I was surprised at how big the kids got in the time she's been gone. The kids were all glad to see each other and played for hours. They even got along for a change!
Anyway, got a lot to fix, so need to stick my nose to the grindstone. If you sent me anything, or sent me your blog addy, please re-send it. Then I can re-add you quicker.

Didn't Sleep Well, Too Much On My Mind

2009-02-20T09:22:00.003-06:00

Too much stuff on my mind. Hubby takes in his "sample" today to see if he can go back to work. We can't afford for him to be home for another week, so I'm praying that the meds have worked and he's good to go. Stressful, because he throws off the whole schedule by being here, and is driving me nuts. Also because we need to figure out how we're gonna pay bills and get groceries and everything if he's 0ff for more time. I know that he can take his other week of vacation if he needs to, but I'm hoping it doesn't come to that.
What amazes me is that no one else has gotten what he has. I've been obsessively cleaning for the past week and a half, and rearranging and vacuuming like a madwoman. Not to mention mopping and scrubbing everything, and making kids wash their hands a million and one times a day.
I don't do well with this kind of thing. Or pretty much anything to do with the city, the health dept, important ppl that can come and inspect your house, or the ones that can take your kids if you know what I mean. It makes me nervous, it even sometimes makes me physically ill.

For an example, we had a dealing with CPS about 4 yrs ago. We'd had a friend (my best friend) and her boyfriend staying with us. He's not known for his good temper. Caleb is a very difficult child to put to bed some nights. This was before I started putting him and Gabe to bed together. So I'm downstairs with Gabe, and he went up to tell Caleb to quit jumping on the bed and go to sleep. Well, he's yelling, and Caleb's yelling. So I put Gabe down on the couch, and went to see what was going on. I go up, and the boyfriend was coming down. He said that he swatted Caleb on the butt for screaming in his face and spitting at him. I went up and checked on him, and asked him what happened, and he told me a different story.
Caleb told me that he was jumping on the bed, which I already knew, and BF came in and told him to go to bed. He said that he told BF that he wanted mom and wasn't going to bed. BF told him to lay down, and he screamed in BF's face, and then BF backhanded him, twice, hard across the side of his neck. Well, I'd never known BF to EVER hit my kids, because he knew that if there was a problem to come get me. And I didn't see any marks, so I figured that Caleb was being a drama queen and I'd just check it again later.
Yes, BF knew that hitting my child was not appropriate, yes he knew that there would be consequences if there was even 1 mark on him. So I let Caleb sleep in my bed with me, since he was upset, along with Gabe (who at the time ALWAYS slept in my bed). And I went to bed, figuring on checking it in the morning. (BTW BF was asked, and denied hitting him like that.)
So when I looked in the morning, I was totally shocked by what I saw. A hand print shaped red mark, with petechiae (hemmoraging) , his neck looked like it was bloodshot. And he had a finger splint shaped bruise. And guess who was wearing a finger splint because he had hurt his finger at work? That's right, the BF.

So I called hubby, told him the situation, and when he got home, he asked BF if he'd hit him and he still said no. So we took Caleb to the police station, filed a report, and had them come talk to him. He told the cops that he did indeed hit him, and that he'd actually hit him twice. He knew it was wrong, and was willing to leave without a fight. Since BF was on probation, his PO revoked him, and he spent 5 days in jail. What does that have to do with CPS? Well if you report that someone else has hurt your child, YOU are investigated too. Yup, that's right, you are investigated.
So, being the not great housekeeper that I am, and having been called on myself because my house was a mess, I totally freaked the hell out! I cleaned everything, called my mom and mil, and they came over and helped me clean every nook and cranny. The worker came and talked to the kids, at school, and called me to say that she needed to come out to the house.
So, she came, and looked thru the whole house--even the fridge and freezer--and her only concern was that she thought the birds cage needed to be cleaned. Of course I laughed, and said that if I cleaned the cage more than 3x a week, the bird would not stay sitting on her eggs, and that since I was breeding birds, I needed her to sit.
I told her how nervous she made me, and how I felt about spanking and how all it takes is just 1 person getting mad and turning you in for something stupid (ie house was a mess cause everyone was sick) to make you freak whenever something happens to your kids. The whole experience affects me even now, I don't leave my kids with anyone except grandma, and my cell phone is on the whole time. I freak over little bumps and bruises. I get physically ill, and sometimes even to the point that I throw up. During that experience I lost 16 lbs in 2 weeks, because I was so freaked I couldn't eat, or sleep and kept throwing up.
Long story short, the case was closed, BF got 5 days in jail, and a 1yr no contact order on us and the kids. He and my best friend got married, he got counseling, and they had a child. My godson, Adrian. Even though he's had counseling, he will never be left alone with my kids. Even if I'm home, because I can't trust that he won't hurt one of them again.
Well, this got way longer than I intended, and I didn't plan on partially writing my life story, lol, but I just wrote how I felt and what was on my mind. Comment away!

Gabe counted today! And Added!

2009-02-16T11:32:00.003-06:00

Yup! For the first time EVER, not including the one time that his teacher got him to count to 3, my boy counted! Not to 3, not to 5, but to 10. We used M&M's and raisins to accomplish this magical feat. Told him if he could count them he could have them. And he counted all 10 M&M's. Then later, to make sure we could duplicate it, we did it again with raisins and mixed fruit. I'd put 2 in his hand and say "how many?" and he'd say 2, then I'd add 1, and say it again, and he'd say 3. On and on til 10. He mixes up 7 and 8. But he's trying! And he was sooooo thrilled that he did it (or maybe thrilled cause of the treats?).
Caleb wrote his first ever paragraph in his own words. He decided that he would write about teradactyls. Below is an excerpt, not spell corrected (yes he did ask how to spell some things):

"I think Birds was alive wen dinosaur was alive. A Bird is telodados (teradactyls). Telodados are big birds and thay die off. And now telodados are fostois (fossils). But because thay are istec (extinct) was a big firey rocks hit ever weir (everywhere) and Now thay are telodados fostois (teradactyl fossils) in the guon (ground)."

Not bad considering how hard he has to try to remember how to spell the words. He is in 2nd grade, doing reading and writing at a late kinder level. He's learning to capitalize and punctuate a sentence. He's also learning that sometimes you should look words up and not ask mom, cause she'll probably misspell it too (case in point: teradactyl. it looks ok to me, but blogger keeps underlining it, so I know I spelled it wrong. Just trying to get this post done before I get interrupted again!). That's all for now, gotta go chase kids!

Going Slowly Insane

2009-02-15T11:47:00.002-06:00

Having him home is great, especially if I need help with something or need him to get the kids to do their chores or something. But he's driving me NUTS! It's fun enough to rearrange my schedule because of him being home, because I can get things done that would otherwise have to wait for the weekend. Like we got the front room and dining room rearranged on Wednesday and Thursday, and the basement picked up and looking decent on Friday. Ordinarily I would've had to get it all done in 10-15 minute spurts, over the course of a few days to a week. And had to re-do a lot of that work due to the kids and the dog messing things up day by day. But other things, like the kids getting school done, and the little things like the work I do at the Cup on Mondays and Tuesdays, and the kids guitar lessons on Friday's. I've had to rearrange those types of things, either because he doesn't want to go, or thinks the kids should stay home and do more in the way of school work, or from Dr appts.

Of course I think I'm driving him nuts too. I've been vacuuming at least 2x a day, but when he was working, all he saw was once a day. I mop everyday, but he only saw when I mopped at night, which is only like 2x a week. We do 3-4 loads of laundry a day, but he only sees like 1 or maybe 2 when he's working. There are dozens of little things that we do everyday (when he is working) that he never sees that are driving him nuts.
The kids are going stir crazy too, wanting dad to leave them alone. He has definite opinions on how much school work they should be doing each day, and what they should be working on at any given time. But like I told him, the kids' school time is MINE. He needs to back up and leave it alone. Gabe is doing well, better than he was before. He may not do as much "book work" as the other kids, but he's learning in his own way. The others are doing well too, to a point, but they don't deal well with dad constantly up their butts as far as what they're doing and when. Caleb has a problem with reading, and doesn't do well when pushed (he will cry and get very upset to the point where he sometimes throws up), so I've backed off and used what he wants to know to get him to read more. Mike doesn't back off, he pushes and pushes, because apparently "back off and leave him alone" is NOT in his vocabulary. Hence, one of the reasons that he isn't allowed to do school with them. It's not just Caleb, he does it with all the kids. That's why it's my job and not his.
Anyway, off to find something else to do, since I've actually caught up on emails and everything else on the computer!

Gross Pt 2

2009-02-13T19:19:00.003-06:00

So he went back to the Dr today, expecting to get cleared to go back to work, or at least get a general idea of when he could go back. Yeah right! Work's pissed at him, because the state (Health Dept) is up their butt. HR at work is pissed at him too, and actually TOOK his name badge from him today when he went to drop off his Dr's note and get his check. He was told in no uncertain terms that it MUST be his fault that he is sick, and don't come back until they tell him to.
Doc has him off for another week at least, maybe more depending on what the results of his next "sample" are. He's to go back next Friday and leave a sample, and they'll call him with the results. Then, they'll fax the results to work, and he is to call them and find out if/when he can go back.
I told him to watch his back, since work is so t'd off about the Health Dept. being involved, and I'm sure that they're going to try and find a way to fire him. So, he took vacation pay for the next week, hopefully he goes back to work then. Or we're sunk, no work = no $$. He said he's going to start looking for a new job while he's off, and the Dr said that as long as it's not dealing with food he can work. Here's hoping that next week is better than this week has been.

On the plus side, we got cable installed today, but now I'm left trying to figure out if we'll be able to afford it in another month. If you're the praying type, I could use some prayers right now.

Totally Gross (Warning if you have a weak stomach!)

2009-02-11T22:25:00.002-06:00

Hubby hasn't been feeling well for the last few days. He's also had diarrhea and an upset stomach. We figured it was just the flu, or a stomach bug, but he was running to the bathroom every 15 minutes or so.
So this morning, he goes, and goes and goes. And is sh*tting BLACK, as in high probability of a GI bleed, or old blood at the very least. So he calls in to work, and goes to Urgent Care this morning. As soon as the Dr. hears the words "black stool" he ordered a complete workup: blood work, stool sample etc. He gets a script for antibiotics, and goes to fill it. Less than an hour later, we get 2 calls about 15 minutes apart. Call #1 says: "You tested positive for Giardia, come back up and get an additional script." Call #2 says: "You also tested positive for Cryptosporidium, and will need a script that will take care of that." So now he's on 3 scripts, 1 for 7 days, 1 for 10 days, and 1 for 3 days.
We went to fill the other 2, and when we get back home, we have a call on the caller ID from the city Health Dept! So he calls her back, and is asked all these questions about how long he's been sick, where has he eaten recently, what has he eaten, has he been around this or that. WTH? There was also ANOTHER call from the Dr's office, but they were out of the office, so he'll have to call them back for the bad news (i hope not really) in the morning.
Our day SUCKED! And the kicker is, he's off work until they say he's all clear of both! So no work = no pay! Wish me luck I'm going to need it.
Of course this also means that Adrian went home, as I need to baby him instead. And Sky's not going to be coming either. It'll be a quiet weekend with just the 6 of us.

I'm A Glutton For Punishment

2009-02-10T21:59:00.004-06:00

So tomorrow's going to be chaotic enough just with the kids, but I just can't leave well enough alone. The boys have their second guitar lesson, which means since I have to be there, so do all 4 (+1) kids. I also need to get a hold of the parts store and find out how much it's going to set me back to get my brakes and rotors for the van. Yeah, really fun.
Thursday is haircuts for the boys, going to the library, and picking up Skylar after he gets out of school. And of course even though he and Adrian are the same size (roughly, he just turned 3, but is small for his age, and Adrian will be 2, but is big for his age), they DO NOT get along. And Adrian is usually the ringleader in whatever trouble comes of the two of them being together. He likes to bite push and bully poor Sky, and Sky just sits there and takes it.
Friday's gonna be nuts too. We have all the regular school stuff, plus I have the cable guy coming (finally!) anytime after 3. Somehow in between all that in the next 3 days I need to rearrange the living room, get the new entertainment center (duh, I need to buy it first, lol) set up, get Caitlin's new shoes, set up the other playpen for Sky, do tons of laundry, plus wrangle 2 toddlers and 4 other kids. Not to mention all the other last minute things that always come up when you have your days packed with all kids of other things that MUST get done by XXXX date.
On the plus side, I can't take more than 2 extra kids at a time without another adult with a car and license, because this van's only a 7 seater and I need to have a seat for ME. I miss my old van, it was an 8 seater, so if I only had my kids, I could separate them, or I could pack in my 4 and 3 more and pack it to the gills with diaper bags and carseats.
I keep telling Mike that my next van needs to be one of those HUGE 15 passenger vans lol. He of course doesn't find it that funny. Hmmmm.
Anyway, Need to get some sleep before Adrian (or Gabe) wakes up and wants my full undivided attention. Btw, anyone want to buy a Dyson Slim, new in box? Cheap!!

The More The Merrier!

2009-02-09T18:43:00.005-06:00

Picked up Adrian yesterday. Figured that was why his mom and dad were trying to get a hold of me. He does so well with my kids, and they were telling me that he looks for us when he comes home. He's over here quite a bit, and for a while (when they were both working) he was here all week and home on weekends. So really, it's no surprise that he's been calling Mike daddy and I mommy for some time now. He also calls them mommy and daddy, so I think that he just figures that we're all his mommy and daddy. He'll be 21 months on the 16th. Getting so big, talking more and more every day. It seems like every time he goes home, he comes back here with a new skill.
I thought when he was born it would be so hard to deal with him and my 4, but in reality it's easier dealing with 5 than it was going from 1-3, or 3-4. Really, going from 1-3 wasn't as hard for me as going from 3-4. Adding the twins when James was little was only really hard the first few weeks, when I was too sore to move much and sooooo sleep deprived that I wasn't always sure which kid I was trying to change and feed. Then, when I was able to get out of the house, since we lived about 5 blocks from great grandma and about 7-8 blocks from grandma, it got easier. We went to the park, we went for walks, we went to grandmas. Simple.
When the twins were almost 2, we had Gabe. Wow what a difference. We had moved, so we were about a MILE away from either grandma, and from great grandma. We were still close to a park, but it was such a hassle to get there. I still didn't have my license, so we had to walk everywhere. Caleb had just been diagnosed with autism the fall before (Gabe was born in March), so we were dealing with all that too. And on top of all that, Gabe never seemed to sleep. EVER. He nursed on demand it seemed like 24/7. He napped for about 20min at a time. He wasn't fooled by being stuck in a swing, or carseat. He wasn't having any part of grandma, grandpa, or daddy. It HAD to be mommy, all the time. He refused the bottle, sippy, pacifier. I'm sure that had a lot to do with it being harder adding him to the mix.
With Adrian, my kids were bigger. And while Gabe (and Caleb) are still quite a handful most days, they're easier now than they were then. Adrian was fine with the bottle, and does great with the sippy. He was and is fine with a pacifier. He sleeps, AND naps. Two things that Gabe didn't do. He's fine with crowds, which Gabe (and Caleb) was not.
Every child is different, and I suppose if Adrian was like Gabe or Caleb, then my life (and his parents') would be very different. It would probably be much harder.

The looks I get when I'm in public with my kids, and my "extras" are varied. Some people give me "the look". You know the look, the one that says, "WTH, don't you know how to stop at a couple" or worse. Of course, I give them looks back, lol, but most of mine are smiles. Looks that tell them that I know what causes it, and I LIKE IT! Picture this: Me and 7 kids. The oldest is 11, then twins @9, then 7, and almost 7, and 3 and almost 2. Wow. And then we met my sisters and their kids. 1 sis has 2 sons(7 and 8) and a stepson(8) that she had every other weekend. The other one has 2 a boy and a girl, Brianna is 2 and Christopher is 5. So the ages go: 11, 9, 9, 8, 8, 7, 7, 6, 5, 3, 2, 21mos. Can we say OMG!?!? Talk about getting stares! We can't get together much anymore, because my youngest sis moved to Missouri and my other sis works full time. But in the summer, its me and my 4, her and her 3, and at least 2 of the 3 extras.
I love my kids, and I love my "extras" as if they were my own. If I could, I'd have a few more. But I can't. So, I have my "extras", and my nephews and niece.
I'm sure this post is rambling, and probably blah, but I really just felt the need to babble for a while. It's been one of those days, and it was a long weekend as well.
Now I'm off to watch the President, he's on EVERY channel!

TGIF--a Day Late

2009-02-07T12:21:00.002-06:00

Yesterday was total chaos. Not that that would be anything out of the ordinary. Spent Thursday in Milwaukee, and took the kids around town, and to the Mitchell Park Domes. Awesome! The kids really like the domes, and we try to make it a few times a year. We've only managed twice since the summer of 2006 when grandma died, because it was really hard for me. We had taken Gabe the morning after she passed, because mom and I needed some time to talk about all that had happened the night before. But thats a whole other post right there.
Anyway, yesterday we did school and our running and bill paying before Mike got home. Then we dropped the kids off at grandma's for our first night out in a year! We went TV shopping, and picked up more stuff for our already spoiled kids, lol. We settled on a 32 inch (the same size we already had) LCD tv, the last one they had (floor model) for $100 off! Great deal!
Also picked up more school stuff, like they need more! Picked up stuff to make our own word wall, and magnetic letters for Gabe. 4th and 5th grade books for James to work out of, and more stuff for next year's schooling.
I'm hoping that when we move, I'll have more space for our school stuff, not just a couple shelves on the bookshelf.
In other news, my desktop weather says it's 48 degrees out!!! Heat wave! Get out and enjoy the day!

It's Monday again!

2009-02-02T12:51:00.003-06:00

And boy does it feel like one! This week, we are taking my sister's two kids to school part of the week. That means doing something we haven't done since the middle of December...waking up at the butt-crack of dawn! Today went pretty well, but it was really hard for me to get out of bed. Got the kids up and dressed, fed, and out the door to pick up her 2, all within an hour!
Today's been pretty laid back, just kind of getting things done little by little, no real hurry. School has been going well, but we aren't doing as much book work as I had anticipated. Mostly what we are doing is watching educational programming, and picking something each day that they want to know about and going from there. Like the hawk in the yard. We see, we look up, we learn. Seems to work well for the older 3. Gabe is hit or miss with a lot of it, it all depends on what catches his attention and keeps it for more than a few minutes.
I also did something I thought I'd never do recently. I bought 4 Fisher-Price Kid Tough DVD Players. One for Caitlin, and each of the boys (James got a regular portable dvd player instead of a kiddie one), and an extra for those times that one or the other needs to be charged. We're eagerly waiting for them (YAY for Ebay!!). The main use for them is (supposed to be lol) to watch educational, learning dvd's. We'll see about that though, lol.
The biggest problem that I'm having with teaching Gabe is that if it's geared for his actual age, he can't do it. But even if it's geared toward a pre-k level, he is still having problems attempting to do things. He seems to have a real fear of trying and failing. I think it ties to his public school experience, where nothing was really expected of him. By the time I pulled him in December, he had JUST (after 2 + yrs of public school) started to attempt writing his name, but the kicker is, even when I sat in and watched during school, they weren't making him do anything! He didn't have assignments, or homework (other than have mom or dad "help" you read for 15 min a night). They expected him to sit in his seat with a minimum of noise or redirection. They gave him the same papers as everyone sometimes (other times they gave him paper to draw or pretend to write letters on, or trace letters), but didn't expect him to actually accomplish anything. I think that he figures home is the same way, and I've been trying to impress upon him that we DO have to do work when it is school time. I need suggestions on working with him!!! Anyway, this is turning into a book, and I have kids to chase and do more school stuff with!

The End of A Long Week!

2009-01-29T19:28:00.003-06:00

So, we finally got taxes straightened around on Monday. I love H&R because of how quick we get our refunds back. This time was no different, we had our refund by Tuesday morning. So, Tuesday and Wednesday were spent paying bills and getting things that the kids need. Got each of the kids 3 pr pants and 3 shirts, and James 4 pr pants. Got Gabe and Caleb each a new winter coat, and Mike got 2 new suits and 2 new dress shirts. Myself, well I got some new lotions and body sprays. Doesn't take much to make me happy lol. We did most of our shopping at the Outlet Mall in Johnson Creek. About an hour and a half-two hours away from us, but well worth the trip in my opinion. Almost everything there is 30-80% off the retail price.
A good example is Mike's suits. S&K was having a closeout, and the suits were normally $160, and he got them for $40 a pc. That's a great deal! Gabe's coat was supposed to be $88, and I paid 26. Another great deal. Caleb's was supposed to be $50, and I paid $10.
All in all, a lot of great fun shopping!

I'm tired, and sore. My back has been giving me a lot more trouble lately, and so have my hips. Walking up and down the stairs keeps me busy, but it also makes me want to soak in the tub for the rest of the night. I used to be able to chase kids all day and night without a problem, but it's catching up to me lately. My migraines are back worse than before as well, which makes sitting here in front of the computer pure hell some nights.
Any way, gotta go get kids ready for bed.

Grrrrrr....Taxes

2009-01-25T15:51:00.003-06:00

So we went to get our taxes done yesterday. That was fun...NOT! We give the tax guy the W-2's, the paper from unemployment, and our 1099-A from the mortgage company. All is going well, until---the tax guy looks at it and says "where did you get this?". He apparently has never seen one before, and doesn't know what to do with it! So he calls his boss over, and she doesn't know what to do with it either! They told us to come back today, that we could finish our taxes up then. But when we call, they say that they haven't figured it out yet, and the person that knows what to do won't be in until tomorrow.
What it boils down to is that they may count the principal amount that we owed as a gain, and the amount between what we owed and what it sold for as a loss. Makes no sense to me, but I also found out that the amounts from the 1099-C (and A) are supposed to be forgiven for 2007, 2008, and 2009. So we might not have to worry. Or, on the other hand, we might. Hard to say right now. Should hear back sometime after 9am tomorrow, so prayers would be appreciated.

Homeschooling is going pretty well....

2009-01-24T10:06:00.002-06:00

Except for trying to keep a certain 7yo boy motivated and occupied. I am running out of ways (creative ways) to keep him interested in learning and what we're doing.
Now, logically, I know that while he is 7, his mental age is at about 3-4, so that accounts for some of it. I've begged, pleaded, bribed, and done pretty much everything I can think of to try and get him doing something.
I've took tv and made it only educational programs, I've taken video games and made them mostly educational. I've made flash cards with easy words, letters and numbers. We've done "field trips" to the zoo, the aquarium, the museum, and other places. He shows no interest at all in letters, words, numbers or any of that. He does know some numbers and letters, and knows what the flash card that says "DS" means (go figure!). I'm at a loss as to how to do things to help him learn.
The other kids did stuff about presidents and the elections, the Whitehouse, and how the government is the one that makes the laws and such (not too in detail, but the basics). That whole time, he was totally letting everyone know that he wasn't having any part of it. I've tried having the other kids doing something and (them) asking him if he can help. I've tried making him sit and holding him in the chair so he would sit long enough to let the cd rom that we were doing catch his attention.
Nothing seems to work.
The other kids are doing well. We are working out of some books that tell what words they should know by when, but alot of our work comes from things that they decided they wanted to know! If something catches their attention on tv, we write it down and it becomes part of tomorrows lesson. They love watching shows like "How It's Made" "Cash Cab" "How Stuff Works" "MythBusters" and all those type of shows. Oh, and "Dirty Jobs"! Thats a favorite of even Gabe! Gabe also likes Sesame Street, Dragon Tales, Wonder Pets, Dora, Diego, Backyardigans, Little Bill, Barney, and Teletubbies! And also Thomas, almost forgot about him, we only recently started watching that one, I can totally see how some kids can't deal without him, lol.
Of course since we don't have cable (yet), all they can watch is what's on PBS unless they're at grandma's house. Any ideas?????

It's been another busy week.

2009-01-21T12:44:00.002-06:00

Wow, we're only 1/2 way through and it's been so chaotic that I wish it was Friday already! Well, not really, because when you homeschool, you don't necessarily get weekends off.
Sunday I picked up Adrian, he'll be going home tomorrow.
Been getting things ready for filing taxes, just need to get his W-2 forms. The mortgage company sent us our dreaded 1099-A form, which we're hoping won't screw up our taxes, plus we got his form from unemployment (from work being closed from the floods this past summer), that's another one that can get us, because they didn't take taxes out of it.

On another subject, it's been brought to my attention that February 8th is "Autism Sunday" and that apparently the second Sunday of every February is every year. Ok thats news to me, lol, but now I know, and am sharing the news with you all. For more information, please go to http://autismsunday.tripod.com/
A wonderful lady from the parenting_autism group on Yahoo was kind enough to share the website address with the group! (Thanks Tuna!)

The kids are doing well, and this week has been dedicated to learning about the past presidents, and all the activities that go on around the inauguration. Busy Busy Busy! We even watched most of the inaugural happenings yesterday.

On a side note, I stumbled across this blog, ( http://clusterfook.com/ ), and I think it makes a great read, and makes you really appreciate life and living it to the fullest. She's a 3 time cancer survivor, and her life has really been turned upside down as of late, and she is home on hospice care right now. Please, if you're the praying type, keep her in your prayers. If you're not, positive thoughts will help too! Now, go read her blog! Or else, lol.

The Big 3-0

2009-01-16T09:55:00.002-06:00

So, tomorrow's the day, I'll be the big 3-0. And of course the kids keep telling me that I'll be old, ancient, over the hill (not that they know what that means lol). Jaime called and woke us up this morning wanting to know if my favorite cake is still chocolate. And which do I like better, Rainbow Brite or Strawberry Shortcake. So, long story short, she's making me a chocolate Rainbow Brite cake. Yum!
And I pulled out a long gray hair yesterday...time for hair dye. What color should I do? Mousy brown, Auburn, Red???? So many choices! But either way, $3 a box at Bent N Dent.
Mike's home today (vacation day), tomorrow (reg day off), and Sunday. Just long enough to get on my nerves, which he's already doing this morning by messing with the kids.
Maybe I'll post a pic after I dye my hair...

So My Credit Sucks...

2009-01-14T19:39:00.003-06:00

And now I have to figure out how to get it decent enough to qualify for a loan thru FHA. Their requirements say at least 3 yrs after a foreclosure, or 5 yrs after a bankruptcy. The question is, 3 yrs from when they filed, or 3 yrs from when it was final lol. I'm guessing from when it was final, which puts us at June/July of 2011. A little over 2yrs from now. So that gives me 2 yrs to clean up our credit and put aside a minimum of 3.5% of the price of whatever house we plan on getting, plus closing costs, and whatever little incidentals. We dont plan on spending more than $100,000 on a house, which means at least $3500 for downpayment, plus at least 3,000 for closing and extras, probably closer to $4000. Can I do this? Yes, I think I can.
And if we wait til we get taxes back in 2012, we'll have a little extra besides what we have put aside between now and then. Now I just need to figure our budget and start setting money aside where we can't mess this up.

Everything seems to be closing...

2009-01-13T22:20:00.002-06:00

In the past few months our area has been hit with a whole slew of business closings. There was the GM plant in Janesville, one of the Kerry buildings in Beloit, and before those, we had Beloit Corp, Sears, JC Penney's, and the stores in the Beloit Mall. We also had KMart and Sentry's close, and got word that June 30 will be the last day for the Alcoa Plant here in Beloit.
The latest is that the Cub Foods in Beloit, and one in Madison, and 2 in Green Bay are closing. Beloit's last day will be March 13, and 71 people will be out of jobs. That's on top of all the people that lost out from all the other businesses closing. My husband worked at the Beloit Cub's. He'd been working there 2 years on the day we married. He worked there a total of 9yrs and 3 mos, then left to work at Alcoa. That didn't work out, so he spent 2 yrs looking for a similar paying job to pay the bills, while we made ends meet on me working at McDonalds. Then he got hired in at Tyson, and he's been there 3 years as of the 12th of Feb.
I keep thinking about if he'd stayed at Cubs. He would have been there 14 years in March. 14 years. That's a long time to work at one place. What would he be doing now, if he'd stayed there? He'd be looking for work, trying to find a place that would pay somewhere near what he makes now, so we could make bills. And I, well I'd be freaking out, wondering what the heck we were gonna do about the situation.
It's scary to see all the people that are going to be out of work, especially the ones that work there that we went to school with, and that he worked with. It really opens your eyes to see the numbers in black and white, knowing how the economy already is, and wondering how much worse it's going to get.

Sick Kids

2009-01-12T21:12:00.003-06:00

Ick! Started this morning, with Gabe saying that he wasnt feeling good, and sleeping in till 10 this morning. He NEVER sleeps that late. He was warm, red ears and cheeks, and just wanted to cuddle. Then later this morning, Caleb says he's not feeling well. Red ears, warm to the touch, sick to his stomach, and headache. And Mike comes home from work, also not feeling well. Whatever it is, it'll probably go thru the hole lot of them by this weekend.
Wish me luck, I'm going to need it.

Tired.

2009-01-11T16:28:00.002-06:00

So today was spent retrieving passwords, and getting back at the other blog. I've edited a couple of the posts, and messed around a little bit, but not much else, since it's taken most of the day to just accomplish that much.
I also managed to clean the baby's room, and the bathroom and bathroom closet. Sent Caitlin up to clean her room, but she didnt do much of anything. Gotta tackle the boys' room, and get it straightened, and get some more laundry done. Take trash out, and clean up my room again. Adrian only had a very short nap today, and has been running full bore all day. His dr appt is tomorrow, so I'm taking him and his mom to it. Hopefully I can get the MIL to watch the kids for me, cause then I can go with, otherwise I'll be sitting in the van with 4 cranky kids.
On a really cute note, when I picked him up, his mom told me that he's been calling my picture "Mimi", and he's been calling me that since I picked him up. Guess I better get back at it, have a ton of housework to get done, and very little time before their bedtime to get it done.

Finally got the password to my old blog!

2009-01-11T10:34:00.003-06:00

So you can visit me there! I'll be trying to post at both regularly.

www.crazymomofmany.blogspot.com

Come visit me!

I have New Pics on Myspace!!

2009-01-10T16:29:00.002-06:00

Don't worry I'll post them here too, lol. So go to my Myspace (myspace.com/mybubbasmom) and check them out.
Here's a few of the ones I put up. We have top to bottom: James, Gabe, Caitlin, Caleb and Caleb again. I also posted some pics of my godson and some friends and nieces/nephews. Go check it out!

Another Busy Day

2009-01-09T23:22:00.003-06:00

Spent today rearranging the boy's room, and putting James' bed in there with them. He's been begging to have his bed in with them for the last month or so, and we finally gave in. Their room now has 2 twin beds and a queen size bed in it, and one dresser! I didnt think they would all fit, but they did. Gabe's dresser fits in the bathroom (large bathroom) against the wall by the closet, Caleb's dresser is in the bedroom, and James' is in his old room. Adrian's dresser is also in James' old room, along with the pack n play (with Adrian lol) and the futon. And FYI, a queen size mattress and box spring will fit on the futon frame! Ask me how I know...
Anyway! Been super busy today, and plus we got a few inches of snow between last night and today and its STILL snowing!
Other than all that, not much else today, did school with the kids, folded and put away 7 loads of laundry, and vacuumed. Got all that done in between chasing kids and mediating kids trying to kill each other.
Tomorrow's my day off!

Wow long night...

2009-01-08T17:39:00.003-06:00

So I got Gabe to sleep by 945, figuring that he'd be up early. Well he was by my side in bed by 2-ish, and at 330 this morning we got a very rude awakening. The police were at our door. No, none of the kids escaped, neither did the dog.
They were doing sweeps, going door to door looking for people with warrants. WTH? At 3 in the morning? So hubby answers the door, and they ask "does so and so live here?" "do you know so and so?" "is so and so your landlord?" "who IS your landlord?" etc. Omg, to say I was ticked was the understatement of the year. Couldn't fall back asleep till like 430-500, when he want to work. The dog wanted to eat the cop, that was the best part of the whole thing, he was sitting there growling deep enough to make the floor vibrate!

Fun fun fun!

So today I was a little sleep deprived, and of course the day wasn't going to wait for me to catch up. Cleaned house, did school with the kids, made lunch, and went to get Adrian. Who of course didn't have a nap today, and is currently (at 6pm) sleeping! All in all a long night and day. I'm tired just reading what I wrote lol.
On another note, Amy ( http://raising-arrows.blogspot.com/ ) had her baby!
Micah Emmanuel
Born New Year's Day 2009 @ 12:18 am
10# 6 oz
22.5 "
All I can say is better you than me at 10# and 22 inches long! That's a BIG baby! My biggest baby was James at 8# 10.5 oz and 20 inches. And I had c-sections with all 4 kids. Congrats on the baby Amy!

Sleep!

2009-01-07T23:14:00.002-06:00

Not much going here, just lack of sleep. Gabe hasn't been sleeping well, so I sit in the boys' room till they're both asleep (sometimes till after 11pm), and then come down to read my email and go to bed. Even with not falling asleep till that late, he's still awake and in my bed by 2-3 am. Yay.
And Caleb is much the same way, but instead of coming in my room, he hides out on the couch till dad goes to work at 430 and then turns the tv on.
Did I mention that the tv is right outside my room? And the tv being on means that Gabe has to be awake...which means I have to be awake. I've seen first hand the results if I'm not up when the destructo-kids are awake. Not pretty.
Hopefully tonight will be better, as he was out by 945. Caleb went to bed at 10, not sure if he was actually asleep, because I decided that dad could listen for them while I took a long, hot, well deserved shower.
Tomorrow I get my godson, who apparently is driving his mommy nuts because he keeps getting diarrhea and they're not sure why. Double yay. But it can't be any worse than the usual craziness. And Adrian has an appointment Friday with his ped, to do a check up and find out what's going on with his tummy.
Any ideas on the whole diarrhea thing? My kids usually have the opposite problem, and that I can deal with. Not used to the whole runny gross stinky mess thing.