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So lets see, the last time I updated was over a month ago! Can't believe it's been that long! So many changes, lots of stuff going on.
First off, I'm now officially down 60 lbs! And wearing a size 22 pants comfortably without having to contort myself to fasten them or anything. Can't remember when I've felt this good wearing this size! I'm almost ready to go bra shopping again as this one is made as small as it can be and I still have wiggle room. Still doing the same things I've been doing, cutting back on sweets and portion sizes and cutting out almost totally on the pop. Haven't really been drinking my coffee either for a while.
I'm walking the dog every day, and sometimes also go for a walk with one of the kids or by myself. Drinking lots and lots of water, 4-8 20oz bottles a day, depending on the heat and whatever else I drink.
I'm looking forward to clothes shopping!
As far as the kids, they are fine. Same old same old. Gabe is finally sleeping more, and only rarely comes in by me.
Our living situation has changed some, and we are in the process of moving in with my inlaws. That meant that we needed to rehome Scooby, as 3 dogs is really more like 2 dogs too many.
Monday I'm going to go get our storage unit, and this week will be spent putting things in storage. It's going to be challenging at times I'm sure, but we can make it work.
I'm going to make an effort to post at least once a week, which shouldn't be a problem since our school year will be starting soon. It'll be good to keep track of all the fun we have and the projects we do.
And was pleasantly surprised! I am now down 51# since Oct 2!!! And 21 of that is just since Feb 14! Talk about awesome, I've dropped almost 3 full sizes, and all my clothes are getting loose on me. Friday night we went to Chicago with some friends, and I wore a size 2x skirt that had never ever fit before. Guess what? It was LOOSE!
Things are going ok, still dealing with my depression and stuff, but it's getting a little easier. I just keep going day by day.
The kids are fine, school is going slow but it's going. Weather has been up and down, mostly in the 60's during the day, but some 50's too. And at night it's been anywhere from 30's-50's.
Our plants got eaten, we put them out and the squirrels had a field day with them. What I have growing now is some strawberry plants, tomato plants, and 1 watermellon plant that *might* actually survive, but isn't trying to very hard. I also saw all the strawberry plants that are growing in the side yard and by the fence. And the poppies that are growing by the side of the house too!
In other news, Caitlin is this years Poppy Princess, and gets to be in the Memorial Day Parade! We went to Walmart and passed out poppies, we had a pretty good time, and Caitlin had fun acting cute and getting people to donate to the Legion.
And today is Adrian's 3rd Birthday!!! Happy Birthday Little Man!!!
Needed some time to figure things out and get my mind straightened out. It's been a long month. Been busy with the kids and life in general.
Our houseguests have finally moved on. They were with us for 6 months, and have now moved on to stay with some other friends in Chicago. I miss Adrian terribly. He was my little shadow, always following behind me when they were here. They've been gone nearly a week. I'm not sure if they're coming back before she has the baby or not. I can't wait to see him again.
Dad's younger brother died the 13th, he was 51. We were told it was a heart attack, but I can't help thinking that the stroke he had this past year didn't maybe have something to do with it. Got to meet his daughter at his memorial service. She seemed nice, we talked for a little while, and I showed her a picture that mom had found when she was going through her photo album. It had Russ and his wife (her mom), Rick and his wife, Dad and Mom, and Peggy and her husband. It was a nice service, with about 50 or so people.
The kids are doing good. We've been taking it easy with some of the school work, and doing a lot of outdoor things. The have gotten to go to the parks, and be in the yard and see things growing and blooming. They got to help paint bedframes, and we'll be doing the boys' walls soon. It's been staying fairly warm during the day, with highs in the 60's and 70's. But night time it still gets down in the 30's and 40's. We've had a little rain, and even a couple thunderstorms. Nothing too bad though. And we're supposed to get more rain this weekend.
Guess I'll update more later. Just so busy right now, what with Spring being in full swing right now and all.
Long long weekend. I'm so glad it's done and over. Saturday was the first day of spring, and it snowed. Not surprising, and it was all melted by mid day yesterday. We left the kids with the grandparents on Saturday, and took a rather long trip down to the Chicago area. Spent all day with them at a seminar, and didn't make it home til after midnight to collect the kids and go home to sleep.
Yesterday was our anniversary. Didn't do a whole lot, just cooked out and spent time with the kids. And today did more running around and took them to the park for a while.
Right now I'm sitting here listening to them fight over a video game, and wondering what we should do for dinner. I'm sure it's not going to figure itself out, so I guess I'm going to have to start thinking about it.
Not too much going on here, thought we had our house-guests moved out, but that only lasted around 2 weeks. Go figure. Most of this week has been spent doing hands on learning activities with Gabe and reading and writing with the rest of the kids. This next week I plan to start trying to potty train Adrian and maybe work on getting him to start attending to short activities. No time like the present as they say.
We spent some time at the American Legion Post for their pancake breakfast today, and got to visit with a few people there. Also took some more recent pics of the kids and Adrian. Really not much else going on around here.
Wow is time ever flying! Yesterday was my birthday, and it went fairly well. Only a few minor hitches. Things are going well, just day to day mundane little things.
We are doing our school routine, just trying to keep it constant. The kids need a lot of direction some days. Of course so do I as of late, and I keep second guessing myself as to whether or not this is going to keep working for us. Really, on paper it all works, its just in real life that it sometimes gets gummed up.
Gabe has done much better most days on following simple directions and even though he still dislikes school, he's at least willing most days to at least try. He still struggles with retaining information that he learns, but it's progress however slow it is. Some days I really feel I need a break, but then I feel guilty, because they're MY responsibility. Not someone else's.
I've been told by quite a few that homeschooling is a bad choice, and that it's something that I can't succeed at because of the kids special needs. Some days I feel that way as well. But then I have to sit back and realize that everyone learns at their own pace, and just because my kids aren't perfect doesn't mean anyone else's kids are either. My kids have challenges, and my patience isn't always the greatest. But I'm trying. That's the most important thing to me.
I've had to really kick myself in the butt as of late to really get in the mood to do anything. School-wise that means that this week has been more about journal work, reading our library books and doing workbook work. Not really any extra stuff, but they did get some excellent books on cd that kept their attention well. And Caitlin is currently doing her own "research" so to speak on rocks and minerals with the books that she checked out from the library. She's interested in learning more, and wants to start a collection of semi-precious stones and gems.
Caleb is still having troubles with his reading comprehension and has been very discouraged. He gets so frustrated with words. I've been trying to make time for he and I to have some one-on-one time for reading and going over material to make sure that he understands it. It's been difficult to do though as mornings are hectic and chaotic. I'm thinking of breaking up our school day, instead of doing it all in the morning. Maybe just journal in the a.m. and do workbooks in p.m. and reading for an hour or so before bed. Not sure how well it will work out, but either way, it's a learning experience for all of us.
James is doing well, he's been reading more on his own and learning some harder math. What I find so ironic about all this is that I was in public school my whole life, and I've never used even 1/2 of what I learned. To me that's a LOT of wasted time and energy put out. Who really needs to know how to do long division like a math whiz when everyone else is using calculators? Or how to multiply a billion different numbers in your head? James knows his basic multiplication tables, but really has no use for them. None. Right now anyways. And if a time comes when it's something he feels a real need to learn, then we'll do it. But for right now, I think all the kids need a better reading base than what they have.
Our focus in the next few weeks is going to be on improving our reading skills and our listening skills. And of course along with reading comes spelling. Which is atrocious at the moment. I've got some words to put up on the walls in the hall on our cork-board, but then realized we don't have one anymore, so tomorrow I'm off to Staples to get another and some tacks to put our words up.
Obviously it was a good idea to post tonight because I already feel better about my new resolve and my new plans. My mind is going a mile a minute sometimes, so it's a good idea for me to get things down while I'm thinking of them.
My first New Years resolution for this year is my weight goals. The second one it to stop letting people get their way when what they really need is a definite reality check. My evil reign starts today.
I also made a resolution to start blogging at least once a week, but I'm going to try for every day, even if it's just a smartass comment or two. Not hard goals by any means, but sometimes more difficult than they seem.
It's only Monday, but it feels like it's been a long week already. That means the rest of this week is going to drag. Go figure. 2009 wants to go out kicking and screaming. Been trying to to stay constant with my diet, but cheated the other day when hubby brought home salami from work. Mmmmm. Missed weighing in this morning, because I totally forgot about it til about 5 tonight, so I'm weighing in tomorrow. I don't expect much of a loss, it's getting close to that time of the month so I feel horribly bloated and uncomfortable.
Not doing much else, just dealing with the kids and special people around here. Made brownies tonight, because I noticed that the more I bake, the more weight I seem to lose because I keep busy and don't have time to snack. You'd think it'd be the other way around, but I don't like eating while I cook, so that's a good thing I guess.
Can't believe it's going to be Christmas already. Just doesn't feel like that time of year yet. So much going on, so little time to do it all in. Making cookies again, chocolate chip oatmeal this time. Made a double batch so I could take some for a holiday get together. So about 6 or 7 dozen all together. Baked 1/2 to take Thursday when they had the get together and baking the other 1/2 today. It's trying to snow here, and they're saying we may get up to another inch or so.
Not really much else going on, just making sure that the kids are all feeling better and getting the house ready for Thursday when Dad and Colleen will be here. Got a ham from Mike's work for Christmas, that's their usual gift to employees along with $10 in coupons for Tyson products. Cleaning and trying to banish Mount Laundry again. Seems like every time I turn laundry over to the 12 yo, we get more and more backed up. So, I've decided that I'm going to permanently have that job myself. I do normally 3 loads a day of laundry, but that's mostly because I wash a LOT of towels and washrags and things like that. I do my laundry once or twice a week, it's pretty much 1 load, unless I've been doing a lot of baking or cleaning, then it's maybe a load and a half. Mike's clothes get done at least 2x a week, because it's mostly work clothes. The kids' laundry and Jane and Adrian's make up the balance of the loads, along with sheets and blankets at least 1x a week (or more for the bed-wetters).
Been in a really funky mood this week. I was happy to see that the scale had moved again, even if it was only another lb or so. But I know I'm getting to the point where I'm going to be slowing down in my weight loss, and that's where I usually get discouraged and think about (or do!) quitting trying to lose. My goal right now is to make it to the 30# mark. Then to the 40# mark, and then 50 and so on. In the long term, I need to lose about 135lb more. That's a LOT of weight. It's a scary number for me. The last time I weighed that much, I had just gotten pregnant with James. It was 13 yrs ago. I so want to be under 200#. I haven't been under 200 since I had James. I was 163# the day I came home from the hospital.
Sitting home with him and just eating whatever I wanted, combined with my hubby never saying a negative thing about my weight, is what let me allow myself to get this heavy. Mike's never said a thing about not being happy with me or my size. But I know in my heart that he can't be happy with it. Because I'm not happy with it. I miss being able to buy clothes that fit nicely and being happy with the way I look when I'm dressed up. We don't have a single family picture in the house. Anywhere. Because I hate the way I look in pictures. Always have since I started gaining weight. I love getting the kids' pictures done, and showing people how beautiful they are, but I always feel out of place, and in some pics, just plain nasty looking. I see all the bulges, and the extra fat everywhere, and it just makes me sick to look at it.
He's always saying I look fine, and that this outfit or that look great on me, but I don't see that when I put something on. I look for clothes that are baggy, that at least partially hide my belly and butt. I wear 1/2 to 3/4 sleeve shirts all year round because I hate the way my arms look. That's changing now though, because I'm using 5lb weights right now, starting to tone my arms a little. I hate the stretch marks though, and I'm not sure if I'll ever get them to go away.
This post kind of got away from me, so I'm going to go think about what to put in the next post...maybe I can start posting every week on weigh-day about my goals for the week and my feelings about my weight loss so far.
Until next time I guess, hoping that the scale moves in my favor tomorrow...
So, now that I'm done being sick, and the kids are (mostly) done being sick, lets try another update. Or something.
Caleb and Caitlin started it off last Thursday with nausea, vomiting and diarrhea. They gave it to me, and I passed it along to Gabe and James by Saturday night into Sunday. Then Mike was sick Monday night into Tuesday. Now we're all feeling better...I hope. Except of course for James who has a couple pulled muscles and a case of strep.
I got my new barbells today. One is green and sparkly and the other is white and green with a star in the center. They're shorter, so hopefully I'll stop hitting them on my teeth and having the ball rub on the bottom of my mouth.
And I'm now down 26lbs!!!! Talk about boosting my self esteem. With everyone being sick it's been a really long week. Still feels like Monday, go figure.
And, today is my baby brothers' 21st birthday! Happy Birthday Nick!
Well that was too long of a break! I just (tonight!) got my netbook and set it up. So now I'm getting used to the smaller keyboard and how much faster than my old laptop it is. Amazing. And this one has a built in webcam, and of course wireless so I can take it anywhere!
James' birthday went well, and he did get a few things like an rc car from us and my mom and stepdad got him a couple little cars as well. We've been running around like crazy getting things ready for winter, and fixing the car again. Go figure! So far we've managed to avoid any major illnesses this fall, which is unusual for us. I can only attribute it to us being home more since they aren't at public school now. There is a lot of it going around in the neighborhood right now though and I'm grateful that we haven't caught it.
Not a whole lot else going on right now, just getting ready for Halloween and planning on having Dad and Colleen down for Thanksgiving. He's excited because this will be the first Thanksgiving he's spent with any of his kids in a LONG time.
Hope to post more since this thing works sooooooo much better than the old one.
Not sure how often I'll be able to get on here in the next couple of weeks, as my laptop decided to die a fairly slow and painful (for me!) death. It's no longer even turning on, so my wonderful brother in law is going to salvage what he can off the hard drive and help me to put it on a new computer (when I finally manage to get one!). Right now I'm using hubby's not-so-ancient-but-very-slow desktop. It has brainfarts, so when I type anything it takes two to three times as long as it normally would because I have to wait for the computer to catch up. So not fun!
On the plus side, since I'm on his computer, I don't have to try 20,000,000,000,000 times to get it to turn on and then hope that it doesn't shut itself down while I take a potty break like my laptop was tending to do towards the last. I'm hoping that he can salvage my pics and files, but not overly hopeful at this point, given the fact that as of late, whatever can go wrong does go wrong.
For example, Mike fixed his car last week right? Wrong! The bearing that he changed is shot too, and we don't know why, as it's only a week old. He bought rotors but why put them on when you'll just have to tear it all apart and do it again? So this weekend has been spent, not with family time, but with him still trying to fix the car. It sucks, because the weather has been especially crappy, going up and down all the last 2 weeks, and I may be walking everywhere this week if he can't fix the problem.
Not much else going on here, we are doing things for James' 12th birthday a little late, because with all the car troubles we just don't have the money. So I told him that he and I will go shopping on the 30th and then the whole family will go out to dinner where he picks. What should I get for a 12yo boy? He likes cars, but I worry about Gabe messing with them. He likes games, especially racing games, but that gets expensive quick.
Quick Note: In case my sis is reading, Happy Birthday Brianna!!!!! Would have messaged you, but like I posted, the laptop is D-E-A-D! Happy Early Birthday to You too, in case my computer problems aren't fixed before then! Call me at home some time sis!
...And James will be 12 years old! His due date was the 17th of October, and by then I was 80% effaced and dilated to 2. I spent the next 6 days dilated to 2, so we thought when I went in for my induction that it would go smoothly. We were sooo wrong.
Went in at 7am and filled out all the paperwork, and got into my room and gown. They did all their usual stuff, checking me and giving me an IV and hooking up the monitor. After a bit, we started walking the halls in an attempt to get him moving and on his way. No such luck. I labored all day, and the doc broke my water at 6pm. I'd gotten to 6cm at about 4pm and was stuck there. Labor was SO intense after that, and by 8pm I was BEGGING them for an epidural. I still hadn't progressed beyond 6cm, and I figured I could at least get some sleep before the really hard stuff started (ie pushing). By 9 pm, James had started having a few decels here and there (times where his heart rate would slow). The doc came in and said if I didn't have him by 11, they were going to start prepping for a c-section. Needless to say, nothing happened! And James was born at 12:22 am on the 23rd of October via c-section. He weighed in at 8lbs 10.5 oz, and was 20 inches long. He had a full head of hair, and beautiful blue eyes that later changed to brown.
Now, he's almost as tall as me (and I'm 5 ft 2 or about there) and weighs in at about 110 lbs or so. He's grown so much, and matured some, and is starting to show an interest in girls. Particularly a certain 17 yo girl that lives 3 doors down from us! We keep joking with him about her and telling him that she's WAY too old for him. But I'm sure it's just a crush, or at least I hope it is.
I just can't believe that my baby is going to be 12. God, I feel OLD!
Every time I get ready for a trip back and forth to Milwaukee (or more precisely, several in one day!) I forget how tired I am by the end of the day. Wow was I wiped lout last night. Got home about 7:30 and was asleep by 9:30, finally woke up about 7:30 this morning.
Left home yesterday about 9 in the morning to go and get Dad and Colleen. Had Gabe, Caleb, and Adrian with me for the trip. There was a lot of construction on the way up and back. Finally got back with them about 12:30 or so, between the construction and potty breaks on the way there and back.
Went to David's birthday party and had a great time! Cake, ice cream, presents and pinata. Lots of chatter and playing. Catching up on what all had happened in each others' lives since we last saw each other on the 2nd. Left to take them back up about 3:30 because there was a game Dad wanted to catch last night. Pretty uneventful trip back, aside from the construction.
Took a side trip before I went back home. I drove by the school I used to go to, our old house and my grandma's old place. Just remembering how things used to be. I never missed a visit with her, every time I was up I went to see her. Usually at least once a month, sometimes more often, we'd make the hour trip to see her and spend the day in Milwaukee. I spent most of the month up there when she was in the hospital the last time. I'd leave work on Thursday or Friday depending on my schedule, I'd stop back home and grab one (or more) of the kids and grab mom and we'd all head up there. We'd come back sometime Monday morning. I'd grab a power nap and be ready for 3rd shift and do it all over again. I'm glad we got to spend all that time at the end with her. I think about her every time I go to Milwaukee. The way I would take to her house, the way to the hospital, to Kevin's work. The way grandma would laugh when the kids were goofing around.
Makes for lots of memories on every trip. Not all great memories, especially the ones about the last few days of her life, but a majority are great ones.
I'm planning our next field trip for October and I think it's going to be a few-day-trip to Milwaukee to see the Museum and the Domes, and of course Dad and Colleen. Maybe we can even catch a fall festival or something. All I know is if things work out the way I hope, we can have a lot of fun and enjoy our few days up there.
Okay, so there's a few things that are bugging me right now. One, is people who say that their only child is so hard to deal with, but then in the next breath tell me that they're trying for number 2(or 3 or whatever). If you can't handle the one you have, why are you trying to have more? Only children can do fine, they don't HAVE to have a ton of siblings to make things ok.
Two, the way that my own kids act when I tell them "one more time and you lose xyz privilege for the day" and they feel the need to keep at whatever they are being told not to do in the first place. Today for example, Caleb is making LOUD obnoxious noises, I tell him nicely to stop please several times. Then, I tell him this is his last "nice warning" and that if he continues to make those noises he will lose the love of his life (which right now is Xbox). He looked right at me, opened his mouth and smiled while he made the same noises over and over again. So obviously he has lost that privilege for the day, and possibly for tomorrow if he doesn't straighten up.
Ok, all better on that one too.
Three, people who think they have to tell me every time they see me that my child should be doing xyz because their child is, and how slow my kid must be because he's not. Mind your own business and take care of your own kid. Yes, your little booger may be able to add 3 digit numbers, but he can't operate the washer or dryer, nor can he make (or even pay attention long enough to help) dinner. My kid may not be the next Nobel Prize winner, but he's not the next little thug that's gonna get picked up for throwing bricks through windows and snatching stereos either. Yes, I'm proud to say that I'm the most over-protective mom on the block. But that means while your kid is out running the streets and catching god-knows-what from his little girlfriend, mine is at home, staying out of trouble, not taking a chance with his health or getting some girl in the family way.
My kids may be naive, but I'm proud to say that I'm hopefully not the one who's gonna be a grandma in a couple years when my 13-14-15 yo gets knocked up or gets someone else's little girl knocked up because he/she/they were not being properly supervised and taught that those activities can cause babies (or diseases that can harm or kill later down the line).
I'm not trying to play holier-than-thou games. Kids make mistakes, and it is our job to teach them the correct way of doing things. I was a teenager once, been there done that. I wasn't a perfect child, I made plenty of mistakes, but I was also taught to learn from the mistakes I made.
When Mike and I got married, we were 18. He had already graduated, and I was in my senior year of high school. When we married, we had just found out a few weeks before that I was pregnant. Was it a good decision to mess around and get pregnant? Not really, but the fact of the matter was, I wasn't going to not have the baby. I knew that once I made the decision to have sex, that it was my responsibility if I got pregnant. That's not to say that there weren't times where I wished that I wasn't pregnant. There were, plenty of times in fact. But I don't believe that it was an option for me to not have the baby. It's just the way I was raised. If I had it to do over again, would I do it the same? Probably not. I think I would have waited to be with Mike, waited to have a baby. But I wouldn't trade him or the other kids for anything.
Sorry, I'm just in a rant-y type mood today. Dealing with a lot of things right now, and very frustrated with the way things are going.
Got bored, so I figured I'd use my time to mess around on here and change things up a bit. Not too bad if I do say so myself. We've been adding to our school day little by little during the week. Most of what Gabe's been doing school-wise is "child-led" type stuff. He's been willing to work with me on counting, as we use skittles or m & m's or other small candy pieces to count. He's also done the alphabet (repeating) on average of 3-4x a day with me. The other kids are doing journaling, and we do it first thing in the morning before our workbooks.
Attitudes still need some adjusting, but all in all it was a pretty laid back week. We got a lot done, and also did our regular housework and laundry.
Today was Scooby's first vet visit. He got his shots, was weighed (27.5 lbs) and was generally checked over. He's in perfect health, and goes back in 3 weeks for a booster shot. He and Shorty are getting along fairly well, no major issues there. He's very food-oriented and is willing to sit or lay down if he thinks you have a treat for him. I'll be getting their licenses on Friday, and plan to start walking them more then. They both walk together well already, bit Scooby needs to learn to not walk in front of me when we're walking.
Not much else going on, just sitting around today watching the kids play video games and the dogs sleep.
Not a whole lot going on here, just gearing up for another school year. James is doing 5th grade this year, the twins are doing 3rd, and Gabe is doing 2nd grade. Or more correctly, he's in 2nd, doing Kindergarten age work. But it's better than it was at this time last year. I've gotten a lot accomplished with him. He's also much happier with how things are going now.
Shorty is home, he's doing great. I went and got him on Saturday and I couldn't believe how happy he was to be home. He and Scooby are getting along fine, almost as if he missed Scooby as well as the rest of us.
Gabe is finally feeling a little better, no more fever, but very chapped lips. And the more chapped they get, the more he resists my putting anything on them. They were getting quite cracked for a few days there, but are starting to heal now. Still has a cough, and a bit of a stuffy nose. Hoping that all goes away soon.
And the boys all got haircuts tonight too. Buzzed it right on down lol. This will probably be the last haircut for a while, maybe till Spring.
We're going to do a bunch of Fall stuff for the first couple of weeks for school. Then about Mid-October we will start doing Halloween things. I plan to do studies on the origins of Halloween and then Thanksgiving in November, and then on the origins of Christmas and New Years celebrations. We aquired a book entitled "Holidays Around the World" and we plan to do a number of lessons out of it.
Guess I need to get moving and finish finding the pencils and sharpeners before we start our studies in the morning.
Been busy packing things into boxes and taking them little by little across town. Mostly 4-5 boxes at a time, and unpacking what I can, and stacking what I can't. We moved the dressers, leaving just enough clothes here for the kids to wear till we are fully moved. My brother in law is putting a new back door and screen door on, and should be done with that this weekend.
The kids' new beds will be delivered this next week sometime, and as soon as that happens, I plan to move the rest of what we have left here over there. I already p
ut in the change of address forms, just waiting for them to change it now lol.
Met the new neighbor, she has a kid who is 7 and another who is 13 I think she said. Whenever we come over with more boxes, her son comes over and asks to play with Gabe. It seems like the more I pack and bring over, the more crap there is to pack.
In other news, we have a new puppy. His name (chosen by Gabe) is Scooby. His birthday is May 17, and he is a beautiful fawn color. He's mostly potty trained, and we are crate training right now. He's also learning to walk on his leash, come when he's called and not chew my shoes.
Not too much else going on, just packing, packing and more packing.
As I was checking the blogs that I read daily, I came across a post that really struck home. It was a post about the recession and all the people that are affected. Usually I skip over posts like that, because I've been there first hand many times and don't really need to be reminded of how the economy is.
I've been a stat-at-home mom for most of the time that I've had kids. We agreed early on that if I wanted to work, I could, and if I didn't that was ok too. I've had a handful of jobs. I worked as a nurses aide when James was little. I worked as a temp, and then at McDonald's when Gabe was 2-4yrs on and off. We bought a house in 2002 when Gabe was about 1 1/2. The following summer, Mike quit his job of 9yrs for a better paying one. That lasted almost 2 months, just a few days shy of his probationary period being up, they canned him. Thankfully he qualified for unemployment.
It was a bad time for us, Caleb had just been diagnosed with autism the spring/summer before. We had just bought a house. If it hadn't been for the twins qualifying for SSI for their disabilities, we'd have gone under then for sure. He lost his job Aug 20, 2003. He didn't work again until Feb 12, 2006. 18 months. November of 2003 I started working full time at McD's to try and help us make bills. The kids' SSI wasn't enough to cover even most of the bills. It covered the mortgage, and sometimes the utilities and some of the groceries. It didn't cover gas, phone, clothes, or any of the other bills that were in collection. Unemployment was only bringing in about $180 a week. After gas and whatever little groceries, diapers, and odds and ends, there wasn't much of anything left. McD's was a paycheck of $200 every 2 weeks. It was a crappy job, but it was better than having nothing.
The day that he found out for sure that he would be working at Tyson, and when he would start, I QUIT! There was no way that we'd be able to cover day care for 3 special needs kids plus James for 3rd shift (both of us were going to be working 3rd), much less cover gas and everything we'd need for 2 jobs. Plus, his pay would be double mine, WEEKLY! The only really big problem now was that we had gotten so far behind on payments on all the bills that we had to catch up on them. We'd had to rob one bill to pay another quite a few times, trying to make sure that the mortgage was always paid first, and trying to make sure that it was paid in full. Juggling payments so that we didn't get the electric shut off, or the phone, or lose the van. We missed 1 payment on the mortgage, because of the van breaking down. So when we paid the next month, we included 1/2 the past due with it. And the next month, and the next. It became a vicious cycle, not being able to pay in full each month. And then the recession hit, which made it worse. The mortgage company wanted all the payment and all the late fees, NOW, instead of letting us work things out. In retrospect, it was a blessing in disguise. We really couldn't afford the house, nor did we have the money to fix it. The city was nailing us left and right for fines for not painting, needing a new roof, taxes not caught up, garage needing to be fixed. So we tried to give back (quit claim deed) the house. But they wouldn't let us. So we told them that we were moving out, come take the house (Oct-Nov of 2007), they waited till Jan of 2008 to file for foreclosure. It was final in May 2008. Our finances aren't a whole lot better, but they are getting there. The big thing that sucks is, even if they get better we still won't be able to get a house loan for at least 3 yrs from the final date of foreclosure.
I know this was pretty long winded, but all that aside, I want to tell anyone reading that it does get better. You will make it, just like we did. It may get tight, and you may have to go without some things, but it can be done. Make it an adventure, learn new things to do that don't cost money. Do local things and things that give back to the community. Most of all, be happy and content with who and what you have.
To read the post that got me thinking, go to http://badladies.blogspot.com/2009/05/no-money-changes-everything.html
I'm sure Catherine will be happy to hear from you!
I just don't know some days how to keep going. Things haven't been the best in the last few months, but then again, compared to last year they are not near as bad as they were. How do those of you with more than one ASD kids do it? Caleb was dx'd PDD-NOS at 2y9m, and ADHD at 5y7m. Gabe was 5y7m when he was dx'd PDD-NOS, and 6y1m when dx'd Mild MR and a host of other things. Some days are so bad meltdown wise that I wish I didn't even get out of bed. Caleb is a screamer, and since starting school has learned some colorful vocab that he likes to share with anyone that ticks him off. Gabe repeats everything and I do mean EVERY thing that he hears others say. Both are hitters, punchers, hair-pullers. Caleb used to be a headbanger, and Gabe still is when upset.
It's hard enough with one kid doing this all the time, but when they both get going, I may as well pull my own hair out and go bang my own head against a wall. I've run the gamut of responses from other people, the whole "he just needs a good a** warming" being at the top of most peoples lists as to how to fix the problems.
The biggest thing we fight about right now is Gabe and his not sleeping. He is up most nights till 1130 or later, and always -- no matter what time he goes to sleep -- is awake and climbing into our bed by 3-4 am. I've done everything I know to get him into his own bed, to no avail. He starts out the night in his bed (I sit with the boys till they fall asleep or else no one gets to sleep), usually wakes up about midnight or so, and comes down and sits with me while I check email, falls asleep in the recliner. Then wakes again about 3 am, and comes in by us. Hubby leaves for work about 430 am or so, and Gabe sleeps thru till about 830-9 am (thank god for homeschooling, because in public school he had to be up by 6 to get there in time which really wasnt a good thing for him if he had a bad night!). If he has to get woken up earlier than that he is VERY grouchy and not happy for the rest of the day. He has always slept like that though, and naps when he was a baby were horrible. 20-30 minute naps and he woke whenever put down.
Caleb is not the best sleeper either, but he is waaaaayyyyy farther than Gabe, he has a hard time falling asleep, but once asleep he is down for the count till at least 6-7am(assuming that he's asleep by 1030 or so). As I'm typing this, Caleb is settling in bed, the other kids (besides Gabe) are sleeping, and Gabe is crying because he doesn't want to sleep in his bed. I know that part of the problem is that Gabe isn't functioning at *age* level, and doesn't understand some of the things expected of him. But that doesn't make it any easier.
I keep wondering what his future will hold and if I'll be able to handle either one of them when they get older. Gabe is the same size as Caleb even though they are 2 yrs apart, and when angry (or scared) is very strong. He's already started being aggressive (with the other kids and sometimes me) when he feels threatened. It just scares me to think of what might happen when he's older.
He's never been close to his dad, even when I was working and dad was stay at home. Neither was Caleb. But now, he always says for me to make dad go to work, and asks why dad doesn't like him or hurts his feelings or whatever the flavor of the day is. I keep telling him that dad does like him, but he's tired after a long day of work and doesn't want to be yelled at (Gabe has a naturally LOUD voice, almost yelling alllllll the time). He has been telling dad "you dont make the rules, mom does" and "you go away" and of course the all time favorite "you hate me". When he was in public school, he learned the phrase "go to jail", so he also likes to tell dad "you're mean, go to jail" and "I'll call the cops on you". I've corrected him that yes dad does make rules, no dad doesn't hate you, it's not nice to say, etc. But nothing seems to change what he says/thinks about dad. Dad doesn't go out of his way to push his authority on Gabe (at least not as of late), he leaves that to me.
I just don't know sometimes though, he's done so much better since he's been out of public school, but I'm not sure that the trade off is worth it at this point. I'm glad that he's happier at home, and that he's learning so much better here than he was there, but sometimes I wonder if I made the right choice in bringing him home.
Homeschooling is going well, we are getting better with letters and numbers. Now just figuring out how to teach him to read! That's a challenge, because while we are finally past the rejection of all things school related (due to some major issues with things at the public school). he is still very resistant to actively learning anything.
I think the thing that burned my a** the most about his school placement was that they told me flat out that it wasn't about catching him up to grade level, it was about putting him with kids his age.
Some days I wonder what it would be like to have kids without all the issues, and be able to go out and enjoy myself without calling every 1/2 hr while gone to make sure that everyone is ok and not killing each other. At this point, IF I could find a good decent placement for Gabe, I think I might just jump at it. Even though it would be hard for both of us to adjust, and he would probably hate me for it for a while. It hurts to say it but sometimes it just doesn't seem worth it to keep working so hard and pushing to get him to learn. I hate listening to him cry and say that he hates school, but I also hate having to force him to sit and do work with me. At least at school, THEY have to do that, it's not me having to go over and over and over the same things day after day and wonder what's going to stick.
Anyone else feeling this way? I want him to learn, but does it HAVE to be a constant battle?
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