Saturday, September 13, 2008

Back To School Night...and pondering the past

Well, Thursday was interesting. The kids had their first field trip of the school year, and went to a magic show of some sort. Some guy named Tim Horton, or something like that. From what I hear it was a good show. And Thursday night was Back to School Night. Got to meet all the teachers and have pizza and all that. James' teacher seems waaaaay too perky, lol, the kind of girl you might tell to lay off the coffee. Caleb's teacher is very understanding, she has done wonders with him, and used to be a special ed teacher. Caitlin's teacher is good, but young. Caitlin likes her though, so that's good at least, I just can't believe how young the teachers are getting. It seems like they get younger every year. Gabe's teacher is ok, but I'm not sure that he's really engaged and learning anything in class. I have met the teacher for the self-contained class, and found out that I already knew her from my days at McDonald's. She used to work at the school by where I worked and would stop by everyday.
I've already told her that if things don't work out with the current placement, that her class would be the other alternative. I think there are only about 6 or so students in her class currently, so the size wouldn't be a problem for him.

They're all doing well in school now, and are adjusting to the new routine. My internet will be up and running on Monday. My baby sis is not only pregnant, but moving to Missouri. One of my best friends is moving back here from Washington State after she has her baby in March. Life's been kinda chaotic, but all in all not too bad. I figure writing is cheaper than therapy, so what the hell.
I had wanted to write when I was younger, and talk about my childhood and how it sucked. About being a teenager, and first loves and all that. But it never happened. Instead of going out and experiencing the world, I got pregnant. Then I got married...and I was just stuck that way, kind of in a rut, not sure which way to turn or what to do to make my situation the way I wanted it. Don't get me wrong, I wouldn't trade my kids for anything, but some days I wish I had waited, that I could go back and re-write it and see how things would be if the little details of my life were just changed a little bit.
I had planned on joining the Army after I graduated. Worked hard on studying for the ASVAB, a test that I would have to take to get in, and on being in shape to pass any of the physical requirements that I would need to pass. I thought that it would be what I would do for a career, that I would become a Medical Specialist, and then go for further training and become a Special Ed teacher or something along those lines. But it didn't happen. Instead I found myself drawn to a man that I still don't really know. We met at the grocery store where he worked (and I shopped, lol). I was 17, and he was 18. His family is the type that always does stuff for each other, and knows exactly what each other is doing. He had never dated, and was totally unlike any of the guys I had ever been with before. All of a sudden, I was making plans that included him, and for a while I thought that meant still going into the Army, and moving him with me.
That Christmas, he asked me to marry him, and I figured that we could marry after graduation in June. I turned 18 in January, and we found out in February that we were pregnant. Needless to say, that shot the whole idea of going into the Army.
We married over Spring-Break in March. March 21st to be exact. James was born in October. In October, when he was a year old, we found out we were pregnant again. On January 18th, the day after I turned 20, I found out it would be twins, and that at least 1 of them was a girl. Caleb and Caitlin were born at the end of May, 2 weeks before their due date. And 22 months later, Gabe came along. I had my tubes tied then, thinking that if I didn't we'd probably keep having them 2 years apart or so. I felt let down after that, almost like I was supposed to have more babies, but had rejected fate or something. I still have days like that, maybe that's why I always "borrow" friend's kids for the weekend.
We've had LOTS of ups and downs. We've had times where we barely spoke and neither one of us could stand even being in the same room as the other. We've bought a house together, and went through foreclosure together. We've moved 8 times, nine if you include moving downstairs after the tenants moved out of the house we bought. We've been through 3 births and 1 miscarriage. And through 11 years (almost 12) of marriage.
I won't lie, it hasn't been easy. There have been a lot of days where I have wanted to be single, and once or twice where I actually thought that was it I wanted a divorce. It's been a long road, with many potholes that we've had to bump along. But most of it has just been easy enough to go along with the flow.
Enough for now, next time maybe something about my teenage years, when kids were wild and crazy...or maybe just crazy.

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