Haven't posted on here in the last month because I've been taking some time to reevaluate my thinking on some things and take some time to figure out where some things are going from here.
Been quite busy in the past month. Had dad and Colleen and some friends for Thanksgiving. The kids have been doing fairly well, and are pretty much keeping the same pace they've been doing at their schoolwork. Mike and I are fine. SSDD.
I am now down 21lbs since October 2nd. Wow has that been a rollercoaster ride for me. Thinking of how far I have yet to go, and how far I've already come has been a scary thing for me. The lowest I've gotten since I've been trying (which has been about 10 years) has been 220. I'm now at 279, though I suspect that once my little monthly friend leaves that number will inch a little lower.
Since I hit the 20lb mark, I decided to do something that I've wanted to do for some time, but haven't because I never felt good enough about myself to do it. I got my tongue pierced. Boy did I get a LOT of reactions to that one. You'd have thought I decided to cut my ear off or something. But I did it for ME. Not for anyone else.
I've decided that when I hit the 40lb mark, I'm going to do something else that I've wanted to do for me. I just haven't decided what yet. Maybe get my ears pierced again, or cut my hair different, or a perm or something. I just don't know yet.
I know it's going to be a long journey, not just a short trip, but I can't help but get discouraged sometimes when I try really hard all week and the scale doesn't move. Some days it's really hard to keep going, because I don't feel like I'll ever get there. I still hate the way I look a lot of days. I hate the way I feel. But it's getting better. Slowly.
Showing posts with label motivation. Show all posts
Showing posts with label motivation. Show all posts
Tuesday, December 8, 2009
Tuesday, September 8, 2009
Frustrated
As some of you may know, we've been Home-schooling the kids since December. It's gone pretty well for the most part. We have more time to devote to the areas that each one needs extra help with. Mostly anyway. James has struggled with his reading since Kindergarten. It's gotten a LOT better, but in all reality he really reads at about a 3rd grade level. When he was in public school they had him held back (they say no learning disabilities), and if he were still in public, they would have him going into 4th grade this year instead of 6th like he should be going into. I'm looking for ideas to encourage him to want to read more.
Caitlin is about 2nd-3rd grade as well, she's had some issues as well with reading, but with her it seems to be more of the not wanting to sound it out in case she's wrong variety. I'd love to hear from any of you on ideas for motivating her to want to learn to read better as well.
My big problems right now are Caleb and Gabe. Caleb is currently doing 3rd grade work (as well as Caitlin), except in reading. In reading he's at about a late kinder level. He's learning, but very slowly. Math isn't a problem, he's great at it as long as it's not story problems lol. What I've been doing with them is if they need help reading something, as long as they're willing to try and read it and make the effort to sound it out etc, I will help them figure it out (book reading wise, for workbooks I read the directions and then help individually with issues as they arise).
Caleb doesn't seem to have any "drive" to want to learn things on his own, unless it's about snakes or scorpions. I've tried to make things about his preferred subjects, but there are only so many things that you can do.
Gabe is the hardest, and the reason that we break our school day into 30 minute (or less some days) increments. He HATES school of any kind with a passion. It gets better sometimes, but that's usually very very rare. He knows the alphabet, although he still reverses letters (usually p, q, r, m, w), can count to 10 with help most days (has even counted to 15 on occasion). But he has no excitement to learn, he doesn't want to be made to do things that seem to have no meaning for him.
He's working on pre-k to kinder level work, and has made alot (for him) of progress since December. But I'm really worried that maybe I can't do a good enough job with him. I worry that he'll never learn to read, never potty train all the way, never talk clearly enough. You name it I worry about it.
It's gotten to the point where I really wonder if it was so bad sending him to school everyday. The screaming and biting and tantrums and throwing things and all that. He got to the point for the longest time where we had to spell out the word school or he'd totally flip out and cry/scream/hit. He's getting to the point now where we can go past a school without him getting anxious, but it's taken since I pulled him in December. That's a LONG time to be worried. I don't want him to be like that again, but I also don't want to fail him as a parent or as a teacher. He's so hard to teach, and some days I wonder if I can reach him with as far away as he seems.
I guess I'm just looking for some reassurance that it does get easier, that he will learn.
Caitlin is about 2nd-3rd grade as well, she's had some issues as well with reading, but with her it seems to be more of the not wanting to sound it out in case she's wrong variety. I'd love to hear from any of you on ideas for motivating her to want to learn to read better as well.
My big problems right now are Caleb and Gabe. Caleb is currently doing 3rd grade work (as well as Caitlin), except in reading. In reading he's at about a late kinder level. He's learning, but very slowly. Math isn't a problem, he's great at it as long as it's not story problems lol. What I've been doing with them is if they need help reading something, as long as they're willing to try and read it and make the effort to sound it out etc, I will help them figure it out (book reading wise, for workbooks I read the directions and then help individually with issues as they arise).
Caleb doesn't seem to have any "drive" to want to learn things on his own, unless it's about snakes or scorpions. I've tried to make things about his preferred subjects, but there are only so many things that you can do.
Gabe is the hardest, and the reason that we break our school day into 30 minute (or less some days) increments. He HATES school of any kind with a passion. It gets better sometimes, but that's usually very very rare. He knows the alphabet, although he still reverses letters (usually p, q, r, m, w), can count to 10 with help most days (has even counted to 15 on occasion). But he has no excitement to learn, he doesn't want to be made to do things that seem to have no meaning for him.
He's working on pre-k to kinder level work, and has made alot (for him) of progress since December. But I'm really worried that maybe I can't do a good enough job with him. I worry that he'll never learn to read, never potty train all the way, never talk clearly enough. You name it I worry about it.
It's gotten to the point where I really wonder if it was so bad sending him to school everyday. The screaming and biting and tantrums and throwing things and all that. He got to the point for the longest time where we had to spell out the word school or he'd totally flip out and cry/scream/hit. He's getting to the point now where we can go past a school without him getting anxious, but it's taken since I pulled him in December. That's a LONG time to be worried. I don't want him to be like that again, but I also don't want to fail him as a parent or as a teacher. He's so hard to teach, and some days I wonder if I can reach him with as far away as he seems.
I guess I'm just looking for some reassurance that it does get easier, that he will learn.
Sunday, February 15, 2009
Going Slowly Insane
Having him home is great, especially if I need help with something or need him to get the kids to do their chores or something. But he's driving me NUTS! It's fun enough to rearrange my schedule because of him being home, because I can get things done that would otherwise have to wait for the weekend. Like we got the front room and dining room rearranged on Wednesday and Thursday, and the basement picked up and looking decent on Friday. Ordinarily I would've had to get it all done in 10-15 minute spurts, over the course of a few days to a week. And had to re-do a lot of that work due to the kids and the dog messing things up day by day. But other things, like the kids getting school done, and the little things like the work I do at the Cup on Mondays and Tuesdays, and the kids guitar lessons on Friday's. I've had to rearrange those types of things, either because he doesn't want to go, or thinks the kids should stay home and do more in the way of school work, or from Dr appts.
Of course I think I'm driving him nuts too. I've been vacuuming at least 2x a day, but when he was working, all he saw was once a day. I mop everyday, but he only saw when I mopped at night, which is only like 2x a week. We do 3-4 loads of laundry a day, but he only sees like 1 or maybe 2 when he's working. There are dozens of little things that we do everyday (when he is working) that he never sees that are driving him nuts.
The kids are going stir crazy too, wanting dad to leave them alone. He has definite opinions on how much school work they should be doing each day, and what they should be working on at any given time. But like I told him, the kids' school time is MINE. He needs to back up and leave it alone. Gabe is doing well, better than he was before. He may not do as much "book work" as the other kids, but he's learning in his own way. The others are doing well too, to a point, but they don't deal well with dad constantly up their butts as far as what they're doing and when. Caleb has a problem with reading, and doesn't do well when pushed (he will cry and get very upset to the point where he sometimes throws up), so I've backed off and used what he wants to know to get him to read more. Mike doesn't back off, he pushes and pushes, because apparently "back off and leave him alone" is NOT in his vocabulary. Hence, one of the reasons that he isn't allowed to do school with them. It's not just Caleb, he does it with all the kids. That's why it's my job and not his.
Anyway, off to find something else to do, since I've actually caught up on emails and everything else on the computer!
Of course I think I'm driving him nuts too. I've been vacuuming at least 2x a day, but when he was working, all he saw was once a day. I mop everyday, but he only saw when I mopped at night, which is only like 2x a week. We do 3-4 loads of laundry a day, but he only sees like 1 or maybe 2 when he's working. There are dozens of little things that we do everyday (when he is working) that he never sees that are driving him nuts.
The kids are going stir crazy too, wanting dad to leave them alone. He has definite opinions on how much school work they should be doing each day, and what they should be working on at any given time. But like I told him, the kids' school time is MINE. He needs to back up and leave it alone. Gabe is doing well, better than he was before. He may not do as much "book work" as the other kids, but he's learning in his own way. The others are doing well too, to a point, but they don't deal well with dad constantly up their butts as far as what they're doing and when. Caleb has a problem with reading, and doesn't do well when pushed (he will cry and get very upset to the point where he sometimes throws up), so I've backed off and used what he wants to know to get him to read more. Mike doesn't back off, he pushes and pushes, because apparently "back off and leave him alone" is NOT in his vocabulary. Hence, one of the reasons that he isn't allowed to do school with them. It's not just Caleb, he does it with all the kids. That's why it's my job and not his.
Anyway, off to find something else to do, since I've actually caught up on emails and everything else on the computer!
Saturday, December 27, 2008
Man am I sore!
Just started working out recently with the Total Gym, and am doing 45 minutes at a time now. My body is rebelling and telling me where to go! So far I've only lost 2 lbs, but hey 2 is better than none! Been drinking lots of water, about 2-3 liters a day. Plus of course my coffee, because I'm not human without it.
So far the kids are doing well, we have a lot of things that we are working on right now, and James wants to do some Unit Studies. We are planning a unit on the Solar System, and one about Rome and the gladiators. Caitlin wants to do a unit on different types of cats, and Caleb hasn't decided what he wants to do.
On another note, our basement is leaking, so I spent today washing clothes and rearranging the basement to make sure that our stuff wouldn't get ruined or wet. I moved the shelving units from one end of the basement to the other and got Mount Laundry contained. Then Mike wet vac'd it and I mopped. We got 5 loads of laundry done today, and have 2 more loads in right now, so tomorrow is fold it and put it all away time.
We are looking for a place sometime after spring gets here, but are in a lease until July 31. I hope the next place we find has some counter space! Course a first floor laundry would be awesome too! We've decided to look within an hour of where we live now, which opens up a lot of possibilities. That gives us: Janesville, Milton, Fort Atkinson, Johnson Creek, Whitewater, Watertown, and Jefferson, plus probably a few others that I can't think of right now.
Still trying to figure out how to get traffic to my blog, haven't had much time to do much of anything lately though, but I have a few minutes here and there to post. I'm going to try and post every day, hopefully that will keep me motivated.
So far the kids are doing well, we have a lot of things that we are working on right now, and James wants to do some Unit Studies. We are planning a unit on the Solar System, and one about Rome and the gladiators. Caitlin wants to do a unit on different types of cats, and Caleb hasn't decided what he wants to do.
On another note, our basement is leaking, so I spent today washing clothes and rearranging the basement to make sure that our stuff wouldn't get ruined or wet. I moved the shelving units from one end of the basement to the other and got Mount Laundry contained. Then Mike wet vac'd it and I mopped. We got 5 loads of laundry done today, and have 2 more loads in right now, so tomorrow is fold it and put it all away time.
We are looking for a place sometime after spring gets here, but are in a lease until July 31. I hope the next place we find has some counter space! Course a first floor laundry would be awesome too! We've decided to look within an hour of where we live now, which opens up a lot of possibilities. That gives us: Janesville, Milton, Fort Atkinson, Johnson Creek, Whitewater, Watertown, and Jefferson, plus probably a few others that I can't think of right now.
Still trying to figure out how to get traffic to my blog, haven't had much time to do much of anything lately though, but I have a few minutes here and there to post. I'm going to try and post every day, hopefully that will keep me motivated.
Friday, December 26, 2008
New Years Goal!
I've decided that my main goal for the new year is to become healthy by losing some of this extra baggage that I've been carrying for the last 11 years (no not the husband lol). I am twice the weight I should be for my height. Not a good thing with a family history of cancer, heart attack, stroke and diabetes.
I bought a glucose meter a while ago, and have been keeping track of my sugar levels. I have pretty much cut out sweets, and pop. I'm relearning what portion sizes are. I want to be happy with my body. I want my husband to be proud to be seen with me in public, and my kids. But most of all, I want to be there to see my kids grow up. I've come to realize that I can't do Gabe or Caleb any good, or Caitlin or James, if I don't take care of myself.
I'm going to stick with it. It's going to get hard, and I'm going to want to quit, but I know I have to do this.
I bought a glucose meter a while ago, and have been keeping track of my sugar levels. I have pretty much cut out sweets, and pop. I'm relearning what portion sizes are. I want to be happy with my body. I want my husband to be proud to be seen with me in public, and my kids. But most of all, I want to be there to see my kids grow up. I've come to realize that I can't do Gabe or Caleb any good, or Caitlin or James, if I don't take care of myself.
I'm going to stick with it. It's going to get hard, and I'm going to want to quit, but I know I have to do this.
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