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It's only Monday, but it feels like it's been a long week already. That means the rest of this week is going to drag. Go figure. 2009 wants to go out kicking and screaming. Been trying to to stay constant with my diet, but cheated the other day when hubby brought home salami from work. Mmmmm. Missed weighing in this morning, because I totally forgot about it til about 5 tonight, so I'm weighing in tomorrow. I don't expect much of a loss, it's getting close to that time of the month so I feel horribly bloated and uncomfortable.
Not doing much else, just dealing with the kids and special people around here. Made brownies tonight, because I noticed that the more I bake, the more weight I seem to lose because I keep busy and don't have time to snack. You'd think it'd be the other way around, but I don't like eating while I cook, so that's a good thing I guess.
Ok, so technically it's more of a cheat, but hey at least it's something different! I used my mixer with this, because it's easier than using a hand-whisk.
I took regular cornbread mix and souped it up some so there'd be something different for tomorrow. I make cornbread in a 13x9 pan, so we used 4 boxes of mix.
Here's the recipe:
4 boxes cornbread mix, made as directed. Mine calls for 1 egg and 1/3 cup milk per box.
1/4 tsp cinnamon
1/4 tsp nutmeg
1/8 tsp ground ginger
2 tsp honey, any flavor (the one I used this time was buckwheat, we get ours from a local guy who keeps bees)
1 tsp maple flavoring
1/2 tsp vanilla flavoring
1/2 c brown sugar
1/2 c oatmeal
Mix the eggs, milk, honey and flavoring first til well blended. Then add your box mixes slowly. Once it's fairly smooth, add nutmeg, cinnamon, ginger and brown sugar. Blend well and add oatmeal. Bake in greased pan at 400 degrees for 25-35 minutes (depending on how reliable your oven is!). Cool before serving (or serve up hot with butter!).
This came out so well! The kids like it, Mike and I like it, and even the picky ones ate it!
Can't believe it's going to be Christmas already. Just doesn't feel like that time of year yet. So much going on, so little time to do it all in. Making cookies again, chocolate chip oatmeal this time. Made a double batch so I could take some for a holiday get together. So about 6 or 7 dozen all together. Baked 1/2 to take Thursday when they had the get together and baking the other 1/2 today. It's trying to snow here, and they're saying we may get up to another inch or so.
Not really much else going on, just making sure that the kids are all feeling better and getting the house ready for Thursday when Dad and Colleen will be here. Got a ham from Mike's work for Christmas, that's their usual gift to employees along with $10 in coupons for Tyson products. Cleaning and trying to banish Mount Laundry again. Seems like every time I turn laundry over to the 12 yo, we get more and more backed up. So, I've decided that I'm going to permanently have that job myself. I do normally 3 loads a day of laundry, but that's mostly because I wash a LOT of towels and washrags and things like that. I do my laundry once or twice a week, it's pretty much 1 load, unless I've been doing a lot of baking or cleaning, then it's maybe a load and a half. Mike's clothes get done at least 2x a week, because it's mostly work clothes. The kids' laundry and Jane and Adrian's make up the balance of the loads, along with sheets and blankets at least 1x a week (or more for the bed-wetters).
Been in a really funky mood this week. I was happy to see that the scale had moved again, even if it was only another lb or so. But I know I'm getting to the point where I'm going to be slowing down in my weight loss, and that's where I usually get discouraged and think about (or do!) quitting trying to lose. My goal right now is to make it to the 30# mark. Then to the 40# mark, and then 50 and so on. In the long term, I need to lose about 135lb more. That's a LOT of weight. It's a scary number for me. The last time I weighed that much, I had just gotten pregnant with James. It was 13 yrs ago. I so want to be under 200#. I haven't been under 200 since I had James. I was 163# the day I came home from the hospital.
Sitting home with him and just eating whatever I wanted, combined with my hubby never saying a negative thing about my weight, is what let me allow myself to get this heavy. Mike's never said a thing about not being happy with me or my size. But I know in my heart that he can't be happy with it. Because I'm not happy with it. I miss being able to buy clothes that fit nicely and being happy with the way I look when I'm dressed up. We don't have a single family picture in the house. Anywhere. Because I hate the way I look in pictures. Always have since I started gaining weight. I love getting the kids' pictures done, and showing people how beautiful they are, but I always feel out of place, and in some pics, just plain nasty looking. I see all the bulges, and the extra fat everywhere, and it just makes me sick to look at it.
He's always saying I look fine, and that this outfit or that look great on me, but I don't see that when I put something on. I look for clothes that are baggy, that at least partially hide my belly and butt. I wear 1/2 to 3/4 sleeve shirts all year round because I hate the way my arms look. That's changing now though, because I'm using 5lb weights right now, starting to tone my arms a little. I hate the stretch marks though, and I'm not sure if I'll ever get them to go away.
This post kind of got away from me, so I'm going to go think about what to put in the next post...maybe I can start posting every week on weigh-day about my goals for the week and my feelings about my weight loss so far.
Until next time I guess, hoping that the scale moves in my favor tomorrow...
So, now that I'm done being sick, and the kids are (mostly) done being sick, lets try another update. Or something.
Caleb and Caitlin started it off last Thursday with nausea, vomiting and diarrhea. They gave it to me, and I passed it along to Gabe and James by Saturday night into Sunday. Then Mike was sick Monday night into Tuesday. Now we're all feeling better...I hope. Except of course for James who has a couple pulled muscles and a case of strep.
I got my new barbells today. One is green and sparkly and the other is white and green with a star in the center. They're shorter, so hopefully I'll stop hitting them on my teeth and having the ball rub on the bottom of my mouth.
And I'm now down 26lbs!!!! Talk about boosting my self esteem. With everyone being sick it's been a really long week. Still feels like Monday, go figure.
And, today is my baby brothers' 21st birthday! Happy Birthday Nick!
Haven't posted on here in the last month because I've been taking some time to reevaluate my thinking on some things and take some time to figure out where some things are going from here.
Been quite busy in the past month. Had dad and Colleen and some friends for Thanksgiving. The kids have been doing fairly well, and are pretty much keeping the same pace they've been doing at their schoolwork. Mike and I are fine. SSDD.
I am now down 21lbs since October 2nd. Wow has that been a rollercoaster ride for me. Thinking of how far I have yet to go, and how far I've already come has been a scary thing for me. The lowest I've gotten since I've been trying (which has been about 10 years) has been 220. I'm now at 279, though I suspect that once my little monthly friend leaves that number will inch a little lower.
Since I hit the 20lb mark, I decided to do something that I've wanted to do for some time, but haven't because I never felt good enough about myself to do it. I got my tongue pierced. Boy did I get a LOT of reactions to that one. You'd have thought I decided to cut my ear off or something. But I did it for ME. Not for anyone else.
I've decided that when I hit the 40lb mark, I'm going to do something else that I've wanted to do for me. I just haven't decided what yet. Maybe get my ears pierced again, or cut my hair different, or a perm or something. I just don't know yet.
I know it's going to be a long journey, not just a short trip, but I can't help but get discouraged sometimes when I try really hard all week and the scale doesn't move. Some days it's really hard to keep going, because I don't feel like I'll ever get there. I still hate the way I look a lot of days. I hate the way I feel. But it's getting better. Slowly.
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